I can guarantee you...

that nobody in my family tree ever died in the ice age!

We store fat as easily as a fish swims through water!

POPPYCOCK !!

I Gave Myself the Gift of Peace

For Christmas I have decided to give myself the gift of peace. So far it is working out quite well.

My favorite present so far is that Eddie went to his mom's house for the holiday. He gave me the key to his apartment so I can watch tv to my hearts content without having to deal with anybody in the community room. Since I don't have cable this is a wonderful present.

I worked last night and I don't have to work again until Saturday night.

One of my regular customers gave me some food to give out in the building today - so kudos to her.

There are many people who are alone in this building. I have invited several of them over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. I am actually cooking it now and will have my own private feast tonight.

Fatty Catty is becoming used to the Christmas decorations. It is the first time in years that I have been able to put all of them up. I may NEVER take them down. That is the luxury of being eccentric and living alone - I can do what I want to!

I have a nice family but by spending the holiday alone I don't have to fake feeling good and energetic and sociable. I can relax. It is sooo nice. I lied and told my Aunt and Uncle I was going to my mom's house. I told my mom I was going to their house. The beauty of it is that if I happen to feel like going to either one of their houses then I still can.

When I went to get on the elevator this morning, Cleo and another lady were standing there. A few of you may remember that Cleo is an objectionable old lady in the building but she also happens to be my neighbor so I TRY to get along with her. As we were waiting for the elevator, Cleo looks at me and asks me, "to hike my pants up please? I couldn't get them up this morning." I kind of cringed in horror as the other woman turned away laughing discreetly. I thought, "what the hell," and I reached over and grabbed the back of her pants and pulled them up a few inches. Fortunately the elevator came and I was able to ignore her next embarrassing request. When we got on the elevator I thought the other lady was going to split her side open trying not to laugh out loud.

There was a note on the elevator from a man who needed somebody to wrap a present for him - I did it.

This blog is a work in progress. I may add to it as the holiday goes on - or not

LOOK, SANTA'S BUTTCHEEKS!

I arrived at my brother's house early one Christmas morning to find my nephew, Arny, waiting for me at the door. He immediately flew into my arms to give me my traditional flying hug greeting as only he could do. After my flying hug he grabbed my hand and excitedly started dragging me to the family room where all the presents were - screaming for his sister, Becca, the whole way.

My brother was in the family room building a fire and as we burst into the room Arny exclaimed, "Look Aunt Pam, Santa's buttcheeks!" I looked over at the screened glass in front of the fireplace and indeed there was a perfect imprint of Santa's rump on the glass. It was obvious that he had landed on his derriere with a great thump when he had come down the chimney the night before!

Santa's nice but...

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerindex?id=9387472

This is a report aired on ABC news about Santa's sidekick in Austria. He is an evil, little man who grabs kids from the parade and whips them in line.

I Loved it!