Tell me if this creeps you out

I tried to sell my ponytail. The following are emails trying to get me to agree to sell my hair - other offers were similiar.

Inquiry:
Wish I lived closer because I would be willing to pay you top dollar for your ponytail as I've paid the following sellers for their ponytails ($2600 #250090, $2025 #251021, $2000 #252617, $2500 #253303

here is where things get weird

The airport is right next to the Pacific Ocean and depending on how the wind is blowing you might fly over it on takeoff or landings. If you wanted me to pick you up at the airport I could drive you to the ocean so you could stick your hands or toes in the water.

The Better Business Bureau doesn't recommend Locks of Love because they sell for profit most of the ponytails that get donated to them and they refuse to open up their financial book for review. If people want to make a charitable donation from the cutting of their hair they sold sell it and then donate to the charity of their choice.

So you will be fine with me tying your hair in ponytail on the top of your head and then holding the scissors against the top of your head and cutting off the entire full length of your ponytail? So if your ponytail is 24" when it's tied on top of your head, I'll be cutting off all 24" of your ponytail. Just want to be sure you're ok with that so can you please email me back and in your own words tell me that I can tie your hair in a ponytail on top of your head and that I can cut off your entire ponytail???

Looking forward to seeing the pictures when you get a chance to take them. Now that I know I'll be cutting off your ponytail when it's tied on the crown of your head or when it's tied on the very top of your head (most likely), can you please take lots of pictures from different angles showing the full length of your ponytail and some close ups of the base of your ponytail? Also, when your ponytail is tied on the very top of your head, could you recline along your couch so the back of your head is on the arm of the couch, and you're looking towards the ceiling, and the top of your head is actually sticking out from the arm of the couch so your ponytail is hanging and free falling towards the floor without touching any part of the couch. Lots of pictures from different angles of this would be great. Sometimes when cutting off ponytails from the top of someones head I do it with them sitting straight up in a chair, but with really thick ponytails I'll often have the person recline on a couch and I'll sit behind them in a chair and doing this really makes it easier to cut of really thick ponytails. Would you be ok with me cutting off your ponytail this way? Once again can you please tell me in your own words if I can cut off your ponytail this way???

I think it's cool that you want to go bald! :>)

P.S. For your braid picture, can you please do a braided ponytail from the top of your head and a bun on top of your head too. Thanks

last contact

"Since I will end up bald I don't see what it matters how you cut the ponytail off." It certainly does matter. If a gal has a 20" low ponytail just below the nape of her neck, her medium ponytail would be about 23", her high ponytail on the crown of her head would be about 26" and the ponytail tied on the very top of her head could be around 28". As an exbeautician, I thought you would have known that? "I was thinking it would be done in a barbershop or beautyshop." The final cut would be but not the ponytail cut. All of the ponytails that I buy are cut off in either in the sellers home or my hotel room (sellers choice). If you look at all of the pictures that I sent you, you can see that none of them were taken in a barbershop or beautyshop. Attached are pictures showing where I cut off the sellers ponytails. -The first 3 pictures show me tying and cutting off the sellers 34" ponytail in her kitchen. Her husband took all of the pictures. -The next 3 pictures show me cutting off the sellers 25" ponytail in my hotel room. Her husband took all of the pictures. -The next 3 pictures show how I tied her ponytail and let it hang down the back of the chair and final hair brushing and cutting of her 28" ponytail in my hotel room. I took the first picture and her husband took the other 2 pictures. Her brother and girl friend were also present and watched a pay per view movie while I brushed and styled her hair prior to the ponytail cut -The last 3 pictures show 2 ponytail length measuring pictures that I took and a ponytail cutting picture that her husband took. As you can see, she's the one with the 41", and 15.1 ounce ponytail! "As an exbeautician I don't feel it is necessary to lie on a couch in a strange motel room with someone I don't know." Not nessesary but it's something I like to do and even though you were a beautician I bet I have cut off allot more ponytails and super thick ponytails than you. Cutting off super heavy and thick high ponytails are allot easier to cut off when they can be held out horizontaly and at a lower level Attached is a picture showing another method that I use for cutting off such thick and heavy on top of the head ponytails and that is sitting in a low backed living room chair with the head leaned way back so the ponytail is positioned like a medium ponytail hanging down from the centre of the back of the head. This method works fine for a quick ponytail cut but I like to take some pictures of the ponytail from differet angles as well as pictures of the ponytail braided and ponytail coiled up in a bun and it really can become uncomfortable for the sellers neck. "I believe you can understand my hesitation with that." Yes I can. I'm feeling somewhat uncomfortable and hesitant myself because I have always made it manditory that the seller have an escort (husband, boyfriend, friend or family member) as it protects me as well as you! Do you have a friend or family member that lives close to Vancouver that would be willing to be to meet with us and be present for the event? Colin P.S. I haven't talked price with you yet and you're the only one that has mentioned dollar value and that was $2000.00 for your ponytail. The minimum length that I buy is 24" and I'm focusing on ponytails that are a true 4 1/2 inches thick (which is what first drew me to your ad) or thicker. Hearing from you that your ponytail was just a tad over 4" thick and not 4 1/2" a was disapointing to me because the one picture in your ad looked like your ponytail could have been closer to 5" thick! I had also hoped that your high ponytail would be 24" long instead of 22" long. In talking to you though, and understanding your situation, and your willingness to let me cut off your entire ponytail that was tied on top of your head, I thought I would pay you your asking price of $2000.00 which is what I pay for ponytails that are allot longer and thicker than yours. I did hope however that I could do my reclining cutting off off your ponytail for the higher price that I was willing to pay you. If we end up making a $2000.00 deal, would you be interested in making a deal with inside a deal? Deal is after we meet (hopefully with your escort) if I can do a recline ponytail cut I'll pay you an extra $200.00. If after we meet and you only

Poor Little Birdie

One pretty spring day my husband and I were at he park as usual when we saw a mother bird teaching her baby bird to fly. The baby was so cute. It was flying but with no control what so ever just bobbling up and down and up and down through the air.

Unfortunately just when they started to fly across the road a car started coming and the baby bird was in perfect position to get hit. All of a sudden the mama bird swooped down and knocked the baby bird out of the way of the car. Mama got hit and died.

We went over and picked up the baby bird which usually you shouldn't do because it throws them into shock but its mother just died and it was obvious that it couldn't take care of itself yet. We took it to the park ranger. At first he irritatedly asked, "well, what do you want me to do about it", when I handed him the shoe box with the baby bird in it?

I said, "I don't know, you're the ranger. I thought that's what ranger's did, take care of the park." He told me he would take care of it when I said that. I have a feeling I don't want to know what he did with that baby bird though.

Most people believe that animals don't have feelings (especially wild animals) but here was a mother bird who gave her life for her baby when she saw that it was in danger. It was noble and sad and sweet all at the same time.

I forgot ...the most important words of wisdom

1. When the pen is out of ink - THROW IT AWAY - don't put it back to use later - IT WILL NOT WORK LATER EITHER!

2. Don't have sex in the snow - it takes a long time for a 5 foot popcicle to thaw out!

damnpamn wisdom

Apparently you can't get blood from a turnip, but you can get blood from a stool!

I am a natural blonde. The carpet has NEVER matched the drapes - MYTH BUSTED!

FAT FLOATS! SO GRAB A FAT WOMAN AND GO SWIMMING, I KNOW BECAUSE I AM UNSINKABLE NOW. MY ONLY PROBLEM IS MY ASS WANTS TO FLOAT TO THE SURFACE AND I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW TO BREATHE THROUGH IT!

warning: a heart attack during sex completely ruins your afterglow!

MOMMY! MOMMY!

I was shopping in a thrift store last year when I observed a cute little girl of about 6 years of age in the toy section. She was a little dirty and her clothes were shabby and she was looking wistfully at the run down toy selection.

I walked over and handed her a dollar and told her she could use that to buy some toys and started to walk away. Her eyes brightened excitedly and she started to SCREAM, "MOMMY! MOMMY! THE LADY GAVE ME A DOLLAR, A WHOLE DOLLAR! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Of course everybody in the stored heard this screaming child and flew to her side. I was slinking out the door praying that nobody tackled me because they thought I was a child molester or something.

When a child screams in that particular tone, nobody actually listens to what they are saying, they just rush to help. In her excitement that little girl almost got me arrested!

Fatty Catty Was an Ice Cream

That is what I dreamed last night.

I opened the freezer looking for ice cream. Fatty Catty was sitting on top of the refrigerator. I picked her up. She was stiff as a board but still alive. I tried to figure out where to bite her so it wouldn't hurt her. I tried to take a bite out of her back. There was no flavor. Just frozen Cat. I decided that it would hurt her to eat her.

I woke up.

Honesty is the Best Policy

One time I was driving down Corridor G (a 4 lane highway in southern West Virginia). I was doing around 95 miles per hour. I saw a policeman but I couldn't slow down fast enough and he stopped me. (when you are driving 95mph you don't just slam on the breaks, you know!)

He walked up to my car and said, "Do you realize how fast you were going?"

I said, "Of course officer, when you're driving 95 miles an hour you had better be aware of everything going on around you and ready to respond to anything."

He started laughing. He said he had NEVER heard that one before. He let me go with a warning!

When a Tree Falls

One time my mother-in-law wanted a tree cut down in her back yard. Bobby goes out there and climbs about 30 or 40 feet off the ground and starts to cut the top out of the tree. He asks Jeannie (his sister) and I to hold the tension ropes so that the tree falls in the direction that he want it to. No biggie.

We are standing there talking and holding the rope and watching the top of the tree when it starts to fall. So we pull and it teeters a little more and in slow motion the tree starts to fall. We are both standing there looking up and I think to myself, "It looks like it's going to fall on me. No it's not. Yes, maybe it is. Oh God, it's going to fall on me!!!!" At this point I dive behind a tree next to me because it's obvious that I can't run and get out of the way in time.

I'm standing behind this tree looking at the branches and leaves all around me that are piled up taller than I am when I look over at Jeannie. Jeannie is still standing there - still looking up. About 2 inches over her head is a huge branch. A branch that if it would have clocked her in the noggin would have easily killed her. She was frozen and never budged and inch!

I can honestly say that God must have intervened that day because I still don't understand how that branch didn't hit her in the head. It had to have bounced up and down some when it hit the ground, and I am not exaggerating when I tell you that it was barely not touching the top of her head as she stared up at it!

Another Fine Water Fountain Mess I've Got Myself Into

You would think I would have learned from my little water fountain pecadillo of last year. But I didn't...

I went out last night to enjoy the fountain to discover that it had rained so much that the head of the fountain was covered up and could no longer pump water...which means the pump will burn up.

Now I have already been warned to stay out of the fountain this year but this was a fountain emergency.

I got a bucket and started to bail. It took a long time because my heart has been giving me problems ever since I went swimming Sunday but I was determined to get the water level down. I would scoop 10 buckets and rest and so on and so on. Eddie and another friend came out to help me. They mostly bitched though and I told them to leave me alone. We finally got the water level down.

The sprayer still wasn't spraying though. I had to operate.

I got some toothpicks and started to clean each jet on the head of the sprayer. It worked some but not enough. I decided to try to screw off the head (which if it had been properly installed I should not have been able to do). It worked! Off came the head and lovely water gushed forth from the pipe.

This should have been good enough for me but I am a perfectionist I guess. Plus the closer I put things to right the less likely I was to get into trouble. I cleaned the head. I tried to put it back on but as you know it is next to impossible to attach something to a spouting water head. But I managed.

The jets were so clean that the water was now spouting over the sides of the fountain. I have no way to turn the pressure down. So all night long water was shooting over the side of the fountain. But it's fixed!

I just talked to Harold the maintenance guy and told him what I did. I am not in trouble. He is pleased that I got the jets so clean. I am pleased that I won't be written up. I saved the fountain.

I took that walk of courage yesterday...

...along side millions of other Americans and possibly even millions of others across the world. As I got to the starting point I walked imperceptably slower and slower. Dread was filling my belly. I could hear the echoes of children shouting and the drone of conversation all around me.

Then it was time. The moment of truth. I stripped off my skirt and my flipflops and strolled that final 20 feet to the pool and I dove right in. Sanctuary! My body was hidden in the cool, relaxing water and I could cavort to my hearts content. I looked around to see that I wasn't even the fattest lady at the pool. That's always a comfort too.

Hope Springs Eternal

On June 12, 2005 my beautiful great niece, Kendall Marie Descalzi was born. I am glad to see she is having a happy life.

She was born exactly one week after the murder of her maternal grandmother Lisa Marie Brennan. She was named after Lisa and her paternal grandmother Maria. She never got to meet her grandma Lisa but she has a good family and I am happy for her.