My Dog Turned into Frankenstein

When I had my greyhound pups I walked outside one day to find that one of them had turned into Frankenstein overnight! Her forehead was huge and overlapping her eyes just like the monster of lore.

I thought for sure she must have been running at 40 mph (or so) and ran directly into a tree. I put her on antibiotics and the swelling went down. As soon as I took her off of them the swelling came back so I put her on them again. Once again when I took her off of them the swelling came back, so this time I took her to the vet.

He started to laugh as soon as he saw her. He asked if she had been chewing any wood and as a matter of fact she had. She had really done a number on my steps and rails going up to my trailer. The vet told me that she had lodged a splinter in her gum. The only place the swelling had to go was behind her eye socket. He assurred me that with some minor surgery (dislodge the splinter and drill a hole from her eye socket to her mouth for drainage) that she would be fine in a matter of days.

And she was. It was one of the freakiest sights that I ever saw in my 13 years as a greyhound trainer.

My Friend Roger

This is another lost 360 blog that I thought about the other day.

I owe my friend, Roger, a great debt. Roger is my friend, Kathy's, brother. Roger had no idea who in the world I was. When Kathy realized that I didn't have anyone to help me when I was sick and that I was homeless, she called her brother, Roger, and asked him to let me move in with him. He didn't hesitate.

I moved into his small apartment complete with my oxygen machine late one evening. Roger did what he could to make me comfortable even though he is disabled and doesn't have much himself. He even quit smoking in his own home and wouldn't allow any of his party hardy friends to smoke inside as well.

He wouldn't take any rent from me either. He told me to just save my money to get my own place. He was also a perfect gentlemen in every way. I was so grateful to him for taking me in that a couple of weeks after I moved in he asked me to go to the store for him. He gave me his foodstamp card but when I bought his groceries I paid for them out of my own pocket as a thank you, thinking he wouldn't notice. He did notice and when he did he made me take his card any buy myself some groceries with it. If I didn't he said he would ask me to leave.

I was with him about 6 weeks when I got my Social Security Disability. He allowed me to pay some of his utilities that he was behind on and I was glad to do it. Also he asked me if I wanted to just stay with him and pay him rent which was fine with me because I knew it would help us both out.

Then Roger got cancer in his eye. I took him back and forth to Dr. appointments and helped care for him after his surgery as best I could.

We eventually parted ways but we are still very good friends. I go see him a couple of times a year and I try to have some little do dad for one of his collections when I go. He has an extensive album collection as well as a Playboy magazine collection that dates back to the 40's. He even has the Marilyn Monroe edition as well as the Anna Nicole Smith editions.

A Last Conversation With my Mother-in-law

This is one of the blogs that were lost when 360 shut down. I just realized that I didn't have it anymore.

I called my mother-in-law. I hadn't spoken with her in the 10 years since I left my ex even though she and I had built a good relationship over the years. I couldn't contact anyone in his family because the circumstances under which our relationship ended.

We had a wonderful conversation. She told me she was glad to hear from me and that she had missed me. She also told me that I was her favorite daughter-in-law.

I told her that I had always told people that I had a good mother-in-law...when I had one (which was the truth). She laughed about it. We talked about 10 minutes before we hung up the phone and she told me she would pass my message on to my ex.

When my ex called me a few weeks later he told me that his mom had just been diagnosed with cancer. He said my call meant the world to her.

Sometimes I think the universe has a way of stepping in and this was one of those times. I'm glad I got to speak with her and let her know there had never been any animosity toward her. She understood.

My Favorite Halloween

I went to the nursing home and picked up daddy and took him to dinner at the Waffle House. He had biscuits and gravy and all the things he wasn't supposed to have. It was one of his favorite restaurants. It was a holiday and I wasn't going to say anything about his choice of food and he knew it.

I took him home and set him up with a giant bowl of candy on the front porch so he could dole out the candy to the trick or treaters. I dressed up his little yorkie, Katie, in her Halloween costume. It was a little devil hood, complete with horns, and a t-shirt that said "killer". I put Nikita, the Chinese Crested, in the pen beside the porch because I figured that all the excitement would be too much for her. That way she could hide in the dog house if she wanted but she was still outside so she could be with us if she felt like it.

Daddy had a ball giving out the candy. For every piece he gave each kid he probably ate two himself. Everytime someone in a mask came to the porch the dogs would freak out and he would have a ball keeping his "killer" under control. (she was prone to ankle biting afterall) We laughed and had a high old time until trick or treat was over and then I took him back to the nursing home.

I met a goal...

...something I so seldom do.

My medical expenses can be deducted from my rent after the first 3 percent. So the more I can spend on medical the better because that gives me that much more to spend every year. The review is once a year. If I don't spend the money on medical expenses then I have to pay the same amount in rent anyway so, of course, the only smart thing to do is to spend the money.

I just had my review. My rent is going down to $276 monthly starting in December. The most my rent can cost me is $335 so I am saving $59 monthly. I need about $1300 worth of dental work so I will be able to do that now. IF MY CAR DOESN'T ACT UP AND FORCE ME TO USE THE MONEY THERE.

I knew I was going to have to buy 2 new tires before winter. I bought 2 last March. So what happens? I ran over something and now I have to buy 3 new tires. I'll get 2 this month (my original plan) and I'll get one in December. The bed of my truck is rusting and I have to buy a bedliner after I patch the hole. That will be a couple hundred at least.

The good news is I paid the truck off last April. That is why I could afford to pay more on medical expenses. Hopefully by this time next year I will be able to deduct even more from my rent. Maybe then I can afford to get heart rehab therapy, something I need because I don't seem to be able to get well on my own and the insurance will not pay for it.

They Never Figured It Out and I Won't Tell Them

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Jane has type A blood. Her parents both have type O blood.

Anyone who has had a basic biology class knows this is impossible. One or both of her parents must be a type A.

The other siblings have type O. They have never figured out that Jane can't have the same father as they do. (since they definitely know who the mother was)

They have always treated her like a black sheep How would they act if they knew? I don't want to find out.

satisfaction

I finally gave him a taste of his own medicine

He's not liking life too much today.

Usually I take the high road. Not this time. I feel better for it. I wish I had done it a long time ago.

Sorry this post is so general but I don't want to go into detail about what I did just that I am glad I did it.

Maybe now he will finally leave me alone. Asking nicely has not worked.

What Are You Supposed to Be Anyway?

When I was at Ohio State our dorm was having a Halloween Party. It was a typical college party full of fun and drunken debauchery. We were all in our costumes cruising from room to room and floor to floor just having a good time in general. I was a ghost. I took the sheet off of my bed and cut a hole in it for my head and then I took my pillow case and cut out two eyeholes and circled them with black magic marker. (If I would have been smarter I would have cut out a mouth hole to make my drinking easier!)

A friend and I went into a suite of some friends of ours. They weren't there so we decided to visit some guys in a room we didn't know. (party, you know) We walked into their room and it was a room full of black guys. We started to laugh and talk with them but they weren't friendly at all. It was really starting to hurt my drunken feelings. Finally one of them said to me, "What in the hell are you supposed to be anyway?!" Of course I replied in my very West Virginia twang that I was a ghost. They all looked at each other as if to say, "yeah right".

It was obviously not a friendly atmosphere so my friend and I left.

Once we were out of the room my friend pointed out to me that they thought I was dressed as a KKK klansmen. My southern accent only made things worse. This had not even dawned on me as a costume possibility, but after looking in the mirror I could see where they would think that. I felt really bad about it and I wanted to go back to talk to them to tell them that I most definitely not a KKK person. My friend convinced me that it would be best not to make a big deal out of it though. It just goes to show that appearances are deceiving and you should never assume anything about someone.

I'll Probably Go to Hell for this One

One time many years ago I was on my way home from morning work at the track. I rear ended an 80 year old preacher and his wife on their way home from church.

There had been a wreck on the interstate so traffic was diverted on the road I took home everyday. We were crawling along at about 20 mph or so. I decided to look over at an abandoned trailer to see what was in it since we were going so slow. When I turned my attention back to the road it was too late. I slammed the brake at the exact time that I slammed into his bumper!

It barely smudged the paint of his large sedan but my mazda was crunched. The hood was buckled and so were the front fenders. The policeman who responded wanted to call a tow truck but I talked him into letting me drive the mile or so to my house. (I could barely see over the crumpled hood.) The damage was extensive enough that it almost totaled my car.

I immediately got out of my car when I hit them and I ran to see if they were all right. They insisted they were. When I saw how old they were I tried to get them to go to the emergency room anyway but they wouldn't do it. By the way I took immediate responsibility for the wreck as well. I don't believe in allowing my insurance company any room to wiggle out of paying for a wreck - that's what I pay them for! I tried to get them to pull to the side of the road so traffic could pass but they refused which is their right.

The person behind me ran up and started yelling that it was my fault that he saw the whole thing. I told him to calm down that I had already admitted fault. He left his name and number with the preacher. When the policeman asked if there were any witnesses when he arrived the preacher actually told him no. I had to prompt him to give the policeman the man's name.

Anyway everything turned out well as far as I know. The insurance paid for his car and mine with no major drama.

Flying Jet Skis of Death

Chris and I walked toward the bleachers that had been set up beside the ice covered lake. We were late, the competition had already started.

"You're going to love this," Chris said, "you've never seen anything like it."

At just about the same time the words came out of his mouth I saw 2 jet skis race over 2 snowbanks toward each other. They both flipped through the air at exactly the same time side by side and all 4 riders flew off their jet skis hurtling through the air!

"Watch!" Chris yelled excitedly! "They're going to switch!"

I watched as the airborne riders executed a turn in mid air and reached for the other jet ski. One of the riders deliberately missed and plummeted head first in the snowbank, His helmet made a sickening crunch as he impaled himself in the rock hard snowdrift.

"Oops, he's only paralyzed, he's disqualified." Chris told me. I had stopped walking. I was sickened by the display I had just witnessed.

"Disqualified? What do you mean, disqualified? It looks like he broke his neck to me!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, you're right. If he would have died he would have won." Chris said unconcernedly as he dragged me on to the bleachers. I went with him because my knees were weak after what I had just witnessed. I needed to sit down.

They cleared the carnage out of the way with quick efficiency and I watched two more jet skis lined up. I watched in the same way you watch a train wreck that you know you can't stop. I couldn't look away. The two jet skis speeded toward each other and flipped in the air and all four riders executed a successful switch.

"Ah, they lose." Chris told me as he bought some popcorn from a vender. "Nobody died." He sounded truly disappointed.

"What do you mean, they lose? They all switched perfectly."

"I know, ain't that a bitch," he said. "The rules are simple. The judges are looking for a particular kind of handoff. The 2 in front and only one in back can live."

I just looked at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The object was to actually kill somebody. Somebody was actually getting on that jet ski with the intention of dying.

"Chris, I need to leave," I told him. "I can't do this."

"What? I thought you would love this stuff"

"Well I don't. I want to go."

"Well go on then. I'm staying."

Just then I watched another set of jet skis line up. When it was all said and done 2 of the back seat drivers had broken their necks.

"Disqualified!" I heard a voice over a speaker yell as the crowd cheered. "Ladies and Gentlemen we have one more competitor. World champion, Lars Splenik from Finland and his partner, Jessa will compete against local favorites John Larson of Ottawa, Wisconsin and James Ferrell. This should be a doosy!"

The jet skis revved up and screamed toward each other. They jumped. The riders flipped. 3 of them successfully switched vehicles. One flew into a snowbank. Dead!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a successful handoff! We have a winner!" I heard the announcer say as I passed out completely