Link: The Lucid Dreaming Test
just something I do from time to time
Current mood:
This song is sung to the tune of "Branded" (the old tv show)
Stranded,
Stranded on the toilet bowl!
Stranded,
And you can't reach the roll!
To prove your a man,
You must wipe with your hand,
and smellll!
Stranded,
Stranded on the toilet bowl!
Her name was Chuckles. She was a miniaturized red husky and she was the bestest and smartest dog I ever had. (and I have had a lot of them) She was beautiful with red fur and tan trim and husky eyes that burned like fire instead of shiney blue. Everywhere we went people offered to buy her on the spot. I wouldn't have sold her for a million dollars.
Bobby found her in a brown paper bag in an alley when she was about 5 weeks old. I fell in love with her at first sight and I tried to find the owner but I couldn't. After spending a fortune at the vet's because she was sick, I moved when we brought her back home because we weren't allowed to have pets. After we had her for about 3 months Bobby walked out of a gas station one day and said, "I think I have found Chuckles real owner."
I was devastated but I mustered up all my courage and walked into Super America with the dog. As soon as the cashier saw her she said, "Yep, she's mine." Apparently somebody had stolen her out of her front yard and dropped her off where Bobby found her. Fortunately I went to school with Lemmie(the cashier) and when she saw how much I loved her and heard what good care we had taken of her she let me keep her. Bobby and I left and promised her a pup if we ever bred her.
One day I decided to bathe her in the creek behind my in-law's house. I walked out into about 18 inches of water and Chuckles was following me. I turned around to see her floating away under water. Fortunately I was able to catch her. I went ahead and gave her a bath. She was paddling the whole time andeverytime I let her go she would sink like a rock. I had never seen anything like it - a dog that actually could not swim.
We went swimming in a swimming hole a few months after this and I took her out with me. I knew by this time not to let loose of her. Bobby stood about 5 feet from me and called to Chuckles and she was paddling desperately to get to him so I kind of gave her a push to help her go and again she sank like a rock. When I reached under water to pull her up she was about waist deep under water and the water was about chest deep on me. I never tried to let her swim again.
We always took her out in the water with us and she liked it, but we carried her the whole time after that. If we didn't carry her and tried to leave her on the bank she would nearly drown herself trying to get to us, so that 's the way it had to be.
When I was in high school the health department ruled that women who cooked for their church bake sales had to have a food handler's card. My Granny Farley and Aunt Mary Ann never missed such a sale. Their church was their life and they did everything they could to support it. Granny's chicken and dumplings and Mary Ann's cakes were always the first to sell out at every sale.
The problem with this ruling was that my granny could only see out of 1/2 of one eye (due to surgery for a brain tumor) and my Aunt Mary Ann is retarded. They could not take the test that the health department gave. They both, of course, kept clean kitchens and there was no reason for them not to cook other than government paperwork. So my family decided that I would go to the health department and take the test for them.
We all met at the health department for the test and the room was full of people. I escorted my Granny and Mary Ann to the back of the classroom so that we would not be observed. We sat through the whole boring lecture. Actually I was trying to sleep through the whole lecture when my Granny reached over and poked me hard in the side. She said, "Pam! You can't be sleeping. You've got to pay attention to what this lady's saying."
I growled back half asleep, "Granny, I don't need to listen to this lady, Mommy has spent half my life drilling this stuff in my head!" (my mom was studying to be a dietician) "It will be just fine, " I told her. But I did sit up out of respect for my Grandma and made a monumental effort to stay awake for the rest of the lecture.
When the woman finished she handed out the tests. I took my test first and gave myself 100 points. I took Granny's test and I made sure she got a high B. Then I took Mary Ann's test and I made sure that she just barely passed. That way nobody would suspect what I had done. I told Granny to wait 5 minutes after I left and pretend that she was still taking the test. Then I left and we all met at the 10 cent store for lunch, which was my Granny's favorite place to eat.
I can honestly say that this is the only dishonest thing that my Granny ever did in her life. it was for the church afterall. 
