"COAL" debuts on SPIKE tv

I have always been curious about what the inside of a coal mine looks like. Now I know. Wednesday night SPIKE tv debuted it's new show, COAL, which was filmed in McDowell County, West Virginia. (the county next to mine) It was filmed by the same people who do "Deadliest Catch".

I have had coal miners try to tell me what it was like but I never could really picture it. Now I'm getting a good look at what it is like to be a couple of miles under a mountain.

I saw about 1/2 an hour of it before I had to go to bed. I'll probably watch more of it.

Something Only I Would Notice

Ever since my heart screwed up I have craved oysters like nothing else. For almost 5 years now they have been constantly on my mind since oysters are expensive and I can only afford them once in a great while.

That was until a couple of months ago.

I have found something to take the craving away. A friend had me try some chicken hearts and gizzards one day. I didn't even know they sold them. I have had them in dressing when I cook a whole turkey or chicken and that's about it. I tried them and I loved them. I ate them 3 times in one week and I have had them about once a month since then.

I DON'T CRAVE OYSTERS ANYMORE.

Thanks to TJ Cook for the following Hillbilly Jokes

Like I said before, I don't know TJ but I better thank him for his stuff!

Outsiders Moving to West Virginia? Follow these instructions:

1. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
2. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
3. Remember: "You all" is singular, "All ya'll" is plural, and "All y'alls" is plural possessive.
4. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from arouncheer, are ya?"
5. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying, they can't understand you either.
6. "Mom'n'em" is not one person. When someone asks, "How's your Mom'n'em?" They are referring to the whole family.
7. Be advised that "He needed killin'" is a valid defense here.
8. If you hear a West Virginian exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," stay out of the way. These are likely the last words he'll ever say.
9. When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere and the rest learned to drive while road hunting on the back roads. In both cases, this is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
10. Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns and are proficient marksmen. Or that their Mammas taught them how to aim.
11. Shakespeare is a rod or a reel, not a writer.
12. Duct tape is not only part of every survival kit; it is the WHOLE kit.
13. Rasslin' is not fake. Don't dare whisper otherwise unless you want a kindhearted "hillbilly" to fix your busted head with duct tape.
14. Grapefruit is not a substitute for biscuits and gravy.
15. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt and Elvis are good ole boys. Jeff Gordon ain't.
16. Turkey hunters actually curse Noah for letting coyotes and skunks on the Ark.
17. If you hear a turkey gobble, get out of the way. Some "hillbillies" view that sound like payoff bells at a slot machine.
18. Don't be surprised if an obituary mentions that the deceased requested to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
19. "You all come back now, ya hear," is a temporary statement. We love Yankees to visit, but damn Yankees are those who decide to stay.
20. If you decide to stay in West Virginia and bear children, don't think we will accept them as hillbillies". After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
21. Try and hide that damn Yank' accent! You'll pick up a slight twang sooner or later anyway.
22. Don't ask, "You guys have (tv, cable,doctors, shoes, etc.) here!?" Hell yeah we have that here, this ain't Kentucky!
23. NEVER EVER talk about how great it is at home in Cali-forneea, or worse yet, up north. We don't care. You'll never convice us there's a better place than WEST BY-GOD VIRGINIA!

IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME THING!

More Hillbilly Humor

Personally I don't know Tj, but I figured if whoever posted this thanked him then I better too!

. Again many thanks to Tj. YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM WEST VIRGINIA IF: 1. You've never met any celebrities. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. 3. Vacation" means driving through Wyatt on the way to Morgantown. 4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular. 5. You measure distance in minutes. 6. Down south to you means Kentucky. 7. You know several people who have hit a deer. 8. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. 9. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. 10. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way. 11. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 12. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. 13. Stores don't have bags; they have pokes. 14. They don't have shoppingcarts; they have buggies. 15. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals. 16. You've seen a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. 17. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "Where are you going to?" 18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain. 19. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 20. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. 21. You carry jumper cables in your car. 22. You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is. 23. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. 24. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 25. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with ice & snow. 26. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. 27. You cook green beans for hours. 28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie. 29. You don't ever park your car without setting the emergency brake. 30. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. 31. You think that deer season is a national holiday. 32. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. 33. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly". 34. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction. 35. You know what a real tomato is, and have a recipe for candy ones. 36. You know if another Hillbilly is from southern, central, or northern WV as soon as they open their mouth. 37. Your parents have threatened to have you sent to Pruntytown. 38. You can watch someone order a hotdog and know in what part of the state they live. - Chili AND slaw, anyone? 39. You can spell words like Allegheny, Monongalia, Monongahela,Kanawha and Hawks Nest. 40. You know how to pronounce Canaan and Gilmer. 41. You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes. 42. You know at least one couple who went to Virginia or Maryland to get married. 43. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your West Virginia friends.

Books

There are still 3 groups of people that is politically correct to make fun of...

1. Blondes

2. Hillbillies

3. Fat People

Boy am I screwed!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

My New Heart Monitor is Getting Results!

Last night they sent me a portable heart monitor in the mail and I hooked it up. I have worn heart monitors before but only in the hospital when I was stuck in bed watching tv for 4 or 5 days. I am wearing this one at home and the data is transmitted to the company who then relays information to my doctor. They can also send messages to me as necessary.

(Isn't technology an amazing thing!)

The first thing this morning I had a call from my heart doctor. He didn't bother to identify himself and I was kind of taken aback when the caller asked me if I was feeling OK. I said yes and he asked me a couple of personal questions and I asked who in the world it was. Dr. Moushmoush identified himself (with a laughing apology - he thought I would know his voice).

He said my heart was beating much too slow. He sounded doubtful when I told him I felt good and he said I could go to the hospital if I wanted to for any reason. He changed one medicine again on the spot and completely stopped another one. Hopefully this is a good thing. He changed it last week when I was in his office and I haven't had an A-fib attack since. (minor heart flutters but nothing like what was happening.

I am waiting to see what happens next.

I have told them in the past that my heart was too slow at night (my pulse drops into the 30's and 40's in my sleep and my blood pressure goes down to 90/40 and 60/30) but everybody just shrugged it off and told me not to worry.

I just looked at it as my body going into hibernation every night. Maybe if my heart beats more then I will get rid of some of this fluid and I will be able to step up my activity level. GOD KNOWS I KEEP TRYING!!!!!

We were master packers

We would come home from school on Fridays and our parents would be sitting on the couch. They would tell us if we could pack the car in 1/2 an hour then they would take us to the Smokies.

WE WOULD DO IT!

We used to have wonderful vacations almost every weekend in the summer and there would be a trip to Florida thrown in there somewhere as well. Before we left mom would fry chicken and homemade doughnuts so we would have snacks on the way.

We would hit every tourist attraction from Pigeon Forge to Cherokee and down I-95 as well. Some of my favorites were Chico's Monkey Farm and Silver Dollar City as well as any waterpark we could find. Waterparks were new in those days. There was also a giant maze that we loved to do in the Smokies.

We ate at the best restaurants. I loved to try new things. Rhonda would only eat a plain cheeseburger and fries for every meal. It didn't matter how nice the restaurant was. (much to many a chef's chagrin ) People weren't so understanding about kids diets in those days like they are now. My dad would actually pay extra so she could get a cheeseburger at a swanky restaurant!

Good Times!

"They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Haa"

That was my sister, Rhonda's, favorite song when she was a kid!

She Went into Hibernation

This is my sister, Rhonda. I think it is her 9th. grade picture. She was a tremendous athlete and if she was a teen today she would undoubtedly be going into professional athletics. She was too good at sports to participate with the girls. She was the first girl in our county in Little League and she was better than most of the boys.

She was so good at basketball that the local amusement park, Camden Park, banned her from shooting for prizes.

She loved music. When she was in the 9th. grade my mom and dad bought her a disco machine. It had all the bells and whistles that a teen could want in the 70's. It had a light show, 8 track tape deck, record player and radio. It was awesome.

We never saw her again after they put the disco machine into her bedroom. We would bang on the door all day long to try to get her to play and she wouldn't come out. Sometimes she would tell us she would be right there but that was just a tactic to get us to leave her alone.

She went into hibernation.

We would kid her about it on those rare occasions that we would see her after that. She was popular at school. She didn't want anything to do with my brother and I.

I remember when she had her tonsils taken out in the 6th. grade. She was talking to everybody else for 2 weeks before she "was able" to talk to Billy or I. She would go from speaking to sign language in a microsecond if one of us were in the room. When we complained to mom she said that we couldn't force her to talk to us - that it would pass.

It never did.

She was the family tattle tale. We couldn't get by with anything without her running to our mom to tell on us - even if she participated in whatever transgression that got us into trouble. My mom would actually encourage her to tell on us (something I don't understand to this day). While Billy and I would be getting our lecture and waiting to get whipped, Rhonda would be on her way to her room (that was always her punishment) and laughing and pointing at us behind mom's back. It was hard to swallow but necessary if we wanted to live in peace.

Of course we did evil brother and sister stuff to her as well. One time we were playing follow the leader. We kept marching back and forth over a pile of dog poop until she stepped into it barefooted. Boy, did we chortle with glee about that one! She didn't speak to us for a week that time.

I never saw a purple cow

This was my sister, Rhonda's, favorite poem when she was a kid.

"purple cow"

I never saw a purple cow

I never hope to see one

I can tell you anyhow

I'd rather see than be one

My Low Sodium Sources

Surprisingly my main source is Sav-a-lot. They expanded their low sodium line a few months ago.

$1.29 Red Gold Tomato Juice - 25 mg per serving/compare to Hunts 160mg per serving

$.49 Dianne's Garden diced tomatoes - 0 mg per serving and Dianne's Garden tomatoe paste - 10 mg per serving. Also Dianne's Garden tomatoe sauce 3/$1.00

$.49 Lakewood (I think that's the brand - it's Sav-a-lot's brand) low sodium vegetables in a can - green beans, peas, corn, mixed vegetables

They also have a very good priced prepackaged sliced ham that has 480 mg. per serving.

Sav-a-lot taco shells - I use them for Salsa instead of tortilla chips. Just break them up. 10 mg sodium per serving

Crystal Light and Kool-aid are good low sodium drinks with little calories. I put splenda in berry blue kool-aid and I can't taste the difference.

Kroger's has a very good low sodium ham in the deli (prestige brand). It costs too much but I believe it is under 400 mg. per serving.

Foodland and IGA have a low sodium teriyaki sauce that is around 300mg per teaspoon. Far less than any other brand.

$4.29 - Foodland has Jamison's Low Sodium Chicken Base - 50 mg. sodium per teaspoon. One jar usually lasts for 3 pots of soup.

I eat lots of hamburgers and chicken legs made on the George Forman grill. I also like to microwave pork chops for about 6 minutes for sandwiches.

I rarely eat hotdogs, bologna or processed meat of any kind. Including frozen chicken breasts, they are loaded with salt.

Snyder's and Mr. Bee's and Utz's make No Salt Chips. Herr's and Lay's make low salt chips.

There is a brand of barbeque sauce in the dollar section at Faschek that has 25 mg. of sodium per serving. I add ground red pepper to it and it tastes like General Tsao's Chicken.

Pam's Mythbuster: You have a better chance of being struck by lightning than win the lottery

Is it true that the odds of winning the lottery are worse than being struck by lightning?
No, even if we just consider the awarding of large jackpots. In 1996 1,136 people won $1,000,000 or more playing North American lotteries. An additional 4,520 won $100,000 or more. By contrast, 91 people were killed by lightning.

These odds don't count people who win $1,000's in lotteries either.

In addition, there's no second prize in a lightning strike. In a lottery, you win lesser amounts of money by coming close to the winning numbers. On many games odds of 1 in 5 or 1 in 4 are not uncommon. Lotteries award over $50 million in prizes in North America every day. Lightning isn't nearly that productive.

SO GO BUY A LOTTERY TICKET!!!!

Thanks to Jiffy Pizza Mix for putting pizza back into my life

I LOVE pizza (who doesn't). Unfortunately it is on my salt list and one piece causes me to blow up like the Michelin Man

At Fruth we sell Jiffy Pizza Mix for 59 cents. It is super simple to make and I have been making my own pizzas for a couple of months now. The big difference is that I can make a low sodium sauce (that tastes better than most pizza chains) and put toppings with less salt on it as well.

The Pizza Is Good!

I have also been about to make Pubwiches. These are a local favorite available at Gino's Pizza. It is basically a pizza folded in half with ham and cheese baked on it. After cooking you add lettuce, tomatoe and mayo (I don't like onion).

mmm mmm good