The Hapless Shoplifter

Well we finally caught a shoplifter yesterday. The funny part is we weren't even trying. I have ranted and raved many times on here about our stores policy of not stopping shoplifters and we have been getting hit hard for months now. It is frustrating to watch people just take what they want and walk out. If they are giving free stuff away at my store I think I should get it - I work there afterall.

Anyway, a little boy was blatantly shoplifting. He was just walking along putting what he wanted in his bookbag and he wasn't even bothering to try to hide his activities. So one of the clerks announced over the intercom, "SECURITY TO THE FLOOR". This is what we always do when we see shoplifters but we never do anything else after that.

Well the little boy panicked when he heard the announcement and ran out of the store. He took his bookbag and threw it over the hill on store property so the manager went out and retrieved it. The boy came back and told the manager, "Everything in the bag is stolen but I need my book for school. You can keep the rest."

The manager called the boy's mother hoping to put a stop to the behavior. The mother came down (turns out she was one of our regular shoplifters). She started to rant at the manager and call him a rascist and she wanted to know why he stopped her son.

She was furious when the manager told her, "We didn't stop your son. He ran out of the store and threw his bookbag over our hill. Then he came back and told me everything was stolen and he wanted his book for school." She wasn't mad at her son for stealing though. She was mad that he admitted that the stuff was stolen.

Our manager wasn't going to do more than talk to the boy's mom when he called her but after seeing her reaction he called the police. Now the boy, the mom and the entire family are banned from the premises and we are to call the police if any of them show up.

IT'S ABOUT DAMNED TIME!

"Love Will Keep Us Together"

Remember that song? I HATED THAT SONG FOR YEARS, not because it is a bad song but because I spent my 7th. grade summer at the pool and they played it about 1000 times a day. Other than that it was a great summer.

Our babysitter, Susan, had a new job there and she used to let us in for free. So we basically spent all day everyday there the entire summer. We had a ball. Her boyfriend, Richard, was the head lifeguard.

You would think that getting in for free would be enough for us, but unfortunately we were an obnoxious bunch of kids. My brother was so bad that one day when he refused to get out of the pool for pool check, Richard jumped in and very nearly drowned him on purpose. At the time it was funny, but looking back on it now it was a really awful thing to do to a kid. (Billy was in the 5th. grade then.) In Richard's defense this was the seventies and people handled things differently then.

I think Billy was one of the original ADHD kids but back then nobody "handled" them - they just whipped them. He got whipped by adults and beat up by other kids everywhere he went. (including at home) I spent my first 5 years of grade school building a terrific reputation as a fighter because I was always defending Billy.

One day I ran up to defend him on the playground as usual when Todd Killen and George Donaldson grabbed me and held me back. They said "Why are you always defending him, don't you think he deserves this?"

I looked at the group of boys and I llooked at Billy and I decided, "Yes, he does deserve this." I turned around and walked away and I let my brother fight my own battles after that. I was still known as the greatest girl fighter on the playground though. All the boys would guard their shins when I walked by because that is usually how I started a fight - with a good, swift kick to the shin!

Unfortunately that reputation as a fighter followed me all through high school even though I never got in another fight after the 5th. grade. It made getting a boyfriend IMPOSSIBLE!

We Didn't Have Time for the Nice Policeman

I was driving through the local Walmart parking lot when I happened to see my best friend, Gail, broken down. This was highly unusual because she had the reliable vehicle and I had the klunker that I had to put in the shop once a week like clockwork.

The look of relief on her face was profound when she saw me. She had called a towtruck but she was in a quandary about how to get home and she wanted to accompany the towtruck to the dealer so she could explain what was wrong with the car. I was grateful for the chance to help a friend who had pulled me out of jams more times than I could count.

She jumped in my junker Volvo, which would usually be beneath her standards to ride in, and we took off to the dealership. This Volvo smoked like a freight train. Not even a semi-truck could follow me close if I didn't want them to. All I had to do was mash the gas and a stream of thick, black, greasy, diesel smoke would pour from the car and hang in the air for 1/2 a mile behind me. Unfortunately one of the local policemen in one of the local speedtraps spied my car and pulled me over.

The first thing Gail did was to reach over and try to put on her seatbelt. I told her not to do it because he would be more mad about the deception than he would be about us not wearing them to begin with. We argued back and forth about it as he walked to the window. When he asked me for my ID and such we clammed up and I complied with his requests. He lectured me about the car smoking and I assured him that I had in the shop about once a week to try to fix it (which was no lie) and Gail chimed in that indeed I did have it in the shop all the time. He informed me that if he saw me on the road again he would tow me in and permanently lock up my car.

I thanked him for letting me go and just as he started to walk away he said, "By the way ladies I saw her putting her seatbelt on when I pulled you over. You are lucky I don't write you a ticket for that too."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT, " I yelled at Gail. "See the mess you got us into." She started to yell back and we continued to argue about the seatbelt. I had no idea the officer had stepped away from the car until I saw him pull out and we were still argueing. I could see a smile on his face and I am quite sure he was laughing at us as we argued about our situation.

Gail and I looked at each other and started to laugh. We had just averted another ticket. We took off for the dealership, car smoking the whole way, and laughing about our brush with the law the whole way.

Things to Know Before You Board Your Dog

One summer I worked in a boarding kennel. Here are some of the things they used to do to deceive the public. (yes, it was a reputable kennel. I was quite surprised by some of this stuff!)

1. They offered food that was not available. they would offer Iams, Purina and Pedigree. No matter what food the dog owner requested they fed Pedigree. (the cheapest brand)

2. Some dog owners supply their pets with food from home. Instead of feeding it to the dogs the workers would take it home to their own pets and feed the kennel dogs pedigree.

3. They would feed too little food. They would feed big dogs in cat food bowls. Little dogs would get about 10 to 20 morsels of food a day. this was done to cut down on "waste" (pooper scooping). when dogs would lose alot of weight the owners would be told the dog grieved for them and refused to eat!

4. Overcrowding was a common problem, even when owners called for a reservation. After the owner would leave the door would be closed to the runs and dogs would be housed on both sides of the gate. Even when dog owners would pay for multiple runs, their dogs would be housed together and each side of both kennels would be filled with dogs.

5. Dog owners would pay extra for special walks for their pets. The dogs were not walked.

6. There were special runs so dogs could go out and play in pens. The dogs were not put in the pens, instead the big dogs would be kept outside at all times.

7. Some kennels were air conditioned and others weren't. More would be charged for the air conditioned kennels. As soon as the owners left the dogs would be moved to the unairconditioned kennels.

8. I never saw a dog hit or mistreated.

9. They always had plenty of water

10. It was common for medications not to be given

11. Bedding would be promised for all dogs. It would not be given because they didn't want to clean the bed up when it was messed. Even when the owner brought the dogs beds with them.

If you want to know what is actually going on with your dog when it is boarded go to pick it up early. Do not call first. Insist on accompanying the kennel worker to your dogs pen.

After a Long Dry Spell I Finally Had a Lucid Dream

Hallelujah!

I don't remember what happened in the dream but all of a sudden I thought, "Hey, that's impossible. I've got to be dreaming!" So I immediately decided to fly. I had a ball. I was indoors, so I had to dodge different obstacles. I was doing flips and somersaults and it was great! I was shooting around like I was Superwoman! Then I woke up.

I can't wait to do it again.

It Was Free Fishing Weekend in West Virginia Over the Weekend

I actually went fishing twice. It was nice. I think after the summer is over (swimming) I will get a fishing license and fish. It is actually the perfect activity for me. You just sit on a bank and wait on a fish to bite.

I didn't catch anything. I did get a couple of bites. Eddie caught a nice sized something or other. He told me what kind of fish it was but I don't remember what it was now. I had a nice time and it is something else for me to do in this great, boring life that I live. Of course I have discovered that when my life isn't boring then something is usually happening that I don't want to happen so I guess I'll stick with BORING.