May Highriser

Here is a copy of the May Highriser. There is a Memorial Day Word Search on the back.

My top 10 favorite movies (not necessarily in order)

1. Life is Beautiful

2. Last of the Mohicans

3. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

4. Beaches

5. Dirty Dancing

6. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

7. Dawn of the Dead (60's and 70's versions)

8. Bad Santa

9. All the Scrooge movies

10. Red Dawn

I'm getting too used to calling ambulances

I had to call an ambulance for Eddie yesterday. He had surgery a week ago and everything was going fine. He came up to my house and he was pale as a ghost. (this was especially alarming because he is black), he couldn't breathe, I thought he was going to pass out and he had every other symptom of infection. Of course he wouldn't listen when I told him to call his doctor.

A few hours later I took him some food because he told me had not eaten. He was worse and he still wouldn't listen about going to the hospital. I got lucky. His sister called while he was in the bathroom. Normally I don't answer other people's phones but I jumped at the chance to get him some help. I explained the situation to her and all it took was a one minute conversation with her to convince him to go to the hospital.

He still tried to get out of it but I pretty much forced him to go ahead and call an ambulance which he did. Then he told him to take him to a different hospital than the one who did the surgery but I got him to change his mind about that as well. Anyway he went to the hospital and I went to work. When I got home he wasn't home yet so I assumed they kept him.

About an hour later he rang my buzzer. He forgot his keys and couldn't get back in the building. They didn't keep him but he had a bad infection in his lungs. They gave him IV antibiotics and prescriptions to take at home and he had to follow up with his doctor in a few days. They told him he was right to go to the emergency room because he had just had the surgery and if he would have waited another day they would have had to admit him - and that is the best case scenario.

I'm glad it worked out. He is much better this morning and I will be getting some much needed rest myself.

"Bury Piggy Under the Apple Tree"

I used to have a guinea pig named Piggy. Piggy was 12 inches long and 12 inches round. He was a gentle creature who loved his carrot tops and celery leaves and led a relatively charmed life for a guinea pig.

One beautiful spring day I had the brilliant idea of putting piggy out in the yard to graze in the grass. I took his cage outside and turned it upside down so he could roam in his own little corral for awhile and glory in the grass and the sun for awhile.

When I went outside to get him he was covered in about an inch of little white eggs. I didn't know what they were and I spent hours combing them out of his fur and I had to bathe him - a process he did not enjoy. The next day he was sick. When he wasn't better the next day I called the vet. He told me those little white eggs were fly eggs. Fly eggs are maggots. He told me that is any of them got inside of Piggy (and they probably did) that there was nothing he could do - Piggy would die.

In trying to be nice to my lovely guinea pig, I had essentially killed him. I observed him for 2 more days. It was obvious his condition was deteriorating. I woke up the next day to what I would call "death rattles". His every breath was labored. I decided he had suffered enough. I had never taken a pet to the vet to be put to sleep and I wanted to be with Piggy when the end came so I decided to put him to sleep myself.

I had a sleeping pill that if I took it then I would not wake up for about 24 hours. I thought if it was strong enough to make me sleep that long then it would surely kill Piggy. I crushed the pill, added some water and squirted the solution down his throat. I picked him up and put him in my lap and started to pet him. He lay there quietly as I waited for him to die peacefully in my arms.

He didn't die. Within half an hour he was racing around his cage and eating and drinking like I had never seen him doing ever in his life. He was obviously in no pain whatsoever and I couldn't believe that he wasn't dead. He was fine the rest of the day. The next morning he was in bad shape again. I had to leave for school.

On my way out the door I looked at Bobby and said, "Bury Piggy under the apple tree."

Bobby looked at me with distress in his eyes and replied,"But Piggy isn't dead." I looked him in the eye and repeated myself and he knew what I meant. When I came home that night Piggy was buried under the apple tree.

Beauty School Dropout

Actually I didn't dropout I just liked the title. From the first day of school I knew I should quit. They gave us an aptitude test and it showed I was not cut out for it. Don't get me wrong my skills were good. I loved to haircuts and perms. My problem was that I didn't care for the fact that I had to get chummy with people for the time they sat in my chair to get their hair done. I am just NOT that much of a people person. I didn't quit because I had already paid for the first half of school and they would have kept almost $300 as a penalty for early withdrawal. So I stuck it out for a year and a month and a week and a day.

I worked long enough to pay off my student loan and I never did anymore hair except for a few select friends and family and myself. In that picture I had just gotten my crimped perm. I loved it. Of course over the year I had so many procedures that I fried my hair. My hair went from being long and blonde and straight when I started school to being 3/4 inch long on top and 3 inches long in the back when I graduated. But that's life in beauty school. This was in 1984-85 when Cyndi Lauper and Madonna were the big influences in hair in those days. Remember that?

yet another quiz

If I were smart I would lie on some of these - but we all know that takes the fun out of it.

Kissed any one of your Internet friends? --- no, never met any of them - maybe I'll kiss the first one I meet. (now that will discourage visitors)

Kissed someone you didn't like? --- no - do certain uncles count?

Slept in until 5 PM? --- yes - I used to work nights

Fallen asleep at work/school? --- yes - routinely at both

Held a snake? --- yes

Ran a red light? --- YES

Been suspended from school? --- NO

Experienced love at first sight? --- YES

Totalled your car in an accident? --- yes, I put my truck on top of a guardrail once in a snowstorm.

Been fired from a job? --- YES - I had a boss who used to fire me all the time. He did it so often that I chewed him out one morning when I came in at 6 am and he fired me. I told him to fire me at night from now on so I could sleep in. He gave me $100 everytime he fired me so I didn't mind it. He always hired me back because nobody else would work for him.

Fired somebody? --- NO, just made them quit.

Sang karaoke? --- NO

Pointed a gun at someone? --- NO

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- YES

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- YES

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- YES

Kissed in the rain? --- YES

Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- yes, more than I can count

Seen someone die? --- yes

Played spin-the-bottle? --- YES - I was too young to really remember it though (does that count?)

Sang in the shower? --- YES

Smoked a cigar? --- NO

Sat on a rooftop? --- YES

Smuggled something into another country? --- NO

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- yes

Skipped school? --- no

Lied to avoid a ticket? --- yes

Ridden in a helicopter? --- no (but I flew a plane)

Shaved your head? --- NO

Blacked out from drinking? --- yes

Played a prank on someone? --- YES

Hit a home run? --- yes

Felt like killing someone? --- yes

Cross-dressed? --- YES, for Halloween

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- yes

Eaten snake? --- yes

Marched/Protested? --- I protest something just about everyday

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- NO

Puked on amusement ride? --- NO, but I wanted to

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- YES

Been in a band? --- no

Knitted? --- YES, but I never finished anything

Been on TV? --- yes

Shot a gun? --- YES

Gave someone stitches? --- yes - my little brother when I was 4 and he was 3. I pushed him off the tricycle and he hit his head on a water meter. I begged him not to tell on me as the blood poured from his head.

Eaten a whole habanero pepper? --- yes

Ridden a surfboard? --- NO

Had surgery? --- YES

Streaked? --- NOBODY SAW ME

Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- yes

Tripped on mushrooms? --- I had mushrooms once - no trip

Passed out when not drinking? --- YES

Donated Blood? --- NO

Grabbed electric fence? --- no

Eaten alligator meat? --- yes

Eaten cheesecake? --- YES

Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- no kids - do nieces and nephews count?

Killed an animal when not hunting? --- YES

Peed your pants in public? --- yes

Snuck into a movie without paying? --- yes

Written graffiti? --- NO

Think about the future? --- YES

Believe in love? --- YES

Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- no

More Pictures of My Dogs On 100 Acres

They were always at this corner of the field because it was the closest to the house. I had 6 foot fences around their field and they could jump them if they wanted to. They chose to stay in there as long as they were together. As soon as I would leave one alone for some reason they would jump the fence before I could be off the property. They kept me in line.

My Sundays Growing Up - stolen from MickeyFez

Sunday was the only day of the week we were allowed to sleep late. My mom would usually have a humongous Sunday Breakfast ready around 10 in the morning. I talking about a feast that would rival any restaurant buffet today. If I woke early I would usually read until breakfast was ready. I would try to get out of eating in my teen years to try to help my weight but that was the only meal of the week that the whole family ate together (unless there was a holiday).

So I would march downstairs and gorge myself on homemade biscuits and gravy and pork chops with red eye gravy and bacon and sausage and potatoes and eggs and molasses made with mom's special touch. Sometimes there would be fried chicken and pancakes and fruits and juices with a variety of jellies and jams and butters. There was too much food for any one family but we would put it away with no problem.

Then my sister and I would have to do the dishes. That later developed into me doing the dishes and she would just come back in after the dishes had air dried and put them up. Even if I used the dishwasher my mom wanted them washed first - I still don't have much use for a dishwasher to this day. I don't see the point of washing them so it can wash them again.

If we stayed home we would go next door and try to roust Rusty and Sissy out of bed. Then the fun would start. Bicycles or Olympics or Monopoly or Basketball and Baseball thrown in for good measure. Mom basically dared us to come back in the house before dinner which would be as equally impressive as breakfast had been.

Almost every weekend if we didn't stay home my mom and my sister and sometimes my Dad and brother would go shopping. We had our favorite stores like Sears and Hills but there were plenty of specialty shoppes we would hit along the way. I always had a big, ole T-bone steak at Ponderosa drowned in mushrooms. We would go home exhausted and finish the day with the Wonderful World of Disney or later on Sixty Minutes. Somewhere in all that I had to read my book a day. I almost always met that goal too.

reverse discrimination ?

I had a doctor one time who was so profoundly good looking that I almost quit going to him. He was my gynecologist and the first time he walked into the exam room I almost fell over when I saw him. (at least I would have if I hadn't been on the exam table at the time)

He looked like a lifeguard fresh off the beach. He was young, tan, muscular and he had very blonde, very curly hair. He was a perfect male specimen in every way. (yes, he was single)

I actually considered replacing him for a brief time but I decided that it would be reverse discrimination. It was a smart move because he saw me through a very difficult time in my life, so it goes to prove that you should NEVER trivialize someone for their looks - good or bad.