The Easter Bunny is a Rock Star

One year I was the Easter Bunny at the mall. I had a blast. I didn't just sit there like most bunnies, I paraded my bunny tail as far as the bunny land people would let me. And I had a ball talking with the kids who sat in my lap. I was surprised to learn that most of them expected a whole list of presents from the bunny...not just the traditional basket! Also, most of them were surprised that a girl was in the costume. People actually complained that the bunny was a woman. I didn't know the Easter Bunny was a boy...especially since I had a giant pink belly and giant pink ears!

I even developed my own bunny dance. I would prance and shake my booty and my ears and pantomime to my hearts content anytime I saw a kid and I wasn't busy posing for pictures. I started to see the kids repeating my moves. It became a regular routine. One day I was dancing across the stage and the lobby around me was packed with kids. Everyone of them was doing the Easter Bunny dance with me. The stage was on the ground floor of the Charleston Town Center Mall and there was a open area all the way to the third floor eating area above me.

I happened to look up and the railings on both levels above me were packed with kids and every single one of them was doing the Easter Bunny Dance with me. It was awe inspiring to say the least and it was one time in my life that I knew exactly what a rock star feels like at one of their concerts. I had to actually stop the dance because they were becoming so enthusiastic in their dancing and cheering that I was afraid that one of them would fall into the lobby and land at my feet. Now that would have been a buzz kill to say the least!

Ladies, don't buy the cheap jumper cables

I had to give a friend a jump tonight. I was glad I bought good jumper cables. I had a pair of cheap ones and I swear they didn't have enough juice to jump a jumping bean. When you buy jumper cables they come in different lengths. Buy at the very least the 12 foot ones. Because invariably when you need a jump you can't position the 2 cars side by side or the batteries are on opposite ends of the cars. If you buy 12 foot or longer cables then you can be 2 parking spaces apart and still get jumped.

Also they have different grades of wiring. Make sure you buy at least the mid grade one if not the best one. It really does make a difference!. Of course if you can get a jump box and keep it in your trunk, that is the gold standard.

For those of you who are married and want to say, "oh, my husband takes care of that." We all know there are times the man in your life is out of touch and you don't want to have to depend on strangers to find a set of cables for you. Also, remember the red cable goes on the positive side of the battery and the black goes on the negative side. Always hook up the negative side and then the positive side and hook up the car that needs to be charged first. Not the car that is doing the charging. It is very important not to let the cables touch each other once you have hooked them up too. You'll get a big shock that way at the very least and you can do damage to your cars wiring and or battery.

My dad made sure I knew how to do all the minor maintenance of a vehicle. Of course he took care of it when possible but that all changed the weekend I drove home from Ohio State and was laughing when I told him what fun it was to round the curves and watch the oil light come on in the car. Trust me when I tell you that he put a stop to my laughter instantly! He couldn't believe that I didn't have enough sense to stop and put oil in my car. I could have blown the engine because the oil was so low. After that he made sure I could safely change a tire, put oil and brake fluid in the car, and check the radiator fluid. He also taught me how to put air in the tires.

Of course there has usually been a man around to do that stuff but I have been grateful many times for that little bit of education in my life.

A Poorly Managed Merge

A few years ago I was on my way to work. (I was the Easter Bunny!) I was driving along, and a truck pulled out right next to me. I needed to get into the lane which normally would not have been a problem because I was doing around 40 mph and the truck had just pulled out and I should have been able to just whiz into the lane with no problem.

That is not what happened.

The truck floored it! He sped up so fast that I was unable to get into the lane. (this all happened in a space of about 100 yards) I had to wait for him to go on past me and I had to slam on my brakes so that I could dive behind him or I would miss the exit I needed to use.

All of this was completely unnecessary.

I was a very aggressive driver. Apparently so was he. I figured if he wanted to force me to dive in behind him (right on his bumper) then I should just stay there. (right on his bumper). Actually the way he sped up he should have just gone flying away from me and there should have been no problem.

Again that is not what happened.

He got mad because I dove in behind him right on his ass. Instead of just going on (I was actually slowing) he started to slam on his brakes. Since he wanted to antagonize me so much I started to laugh because I could tailgate with the best of them. I was laughing. I was staying on his ass. He was slamming on the brakes!

All of a sudden he pulled to the side of the exit ramp. He stopped. I went around him because I really didn't have time to play his silly games and as I passed him I looked over to see that he had a gun pointed at me!

I floored it! I took off like a bat out of hell with him hot on my ass. This was in the days before cell phones so the only shot I had was to outrun the bastard! We flew down the interstate and when we got to the next exit I got off and turned toward the State Police Barracks.

He went on.

Nobody was at the State Police Barracks to report anything to. No policeman. No secretary. Nobody.

The man was long gone by this time.

I went on to my job as the Easter Bunny spreading joy to all the children of Charleston, West Virginia.

The Easter Bunny Strikes!

One year Bobby and I moved onto a 10 acre farm in Loxahatchee, Florida, to raise our greyhound puppies. The person who had lived there before us had left a yard full of children's toys behind. We did not have kids and it seemed like such a waste to throw them away, so the day before Easter I hosed all of them down (they were outdoor toys) and we loaded them into the truck. There were so many of them that they filled up the whole back of it.

On Easter morning, on the way into work (about 5 in the morning) we went to the apartment complex we used to live in. We took the toys out of the truck and placed them beside the dumpsters that were at the end of each row of apartments. (they were very clean) I had watched those kids play around the dumpsters for a year so I knew that they would have no problem finding the toys. Sometimes I think they liked playing in the dumpsters more than they liked playing with the toys they had. One of their favorite games (and mine to watch) was the shopping cart races. They would load a couple of kids into a couple of shopping carts and everybody would run and push them as fast as they could. They would hit the speed bumps at full speed and kids would go flying into the air. Sometimes they would be scatterred on the ground looking like a full fledged accident scene. It was hilarious.

After morning work was over (around 10 a.m.) we drove back by the apartment complex. There were kids running and playing all over the place with the toys that we had left behind. Can you imagine going outside on Easter morning and finding free toys just standing there? I bet those kids thought that the Easter Bunny was real that year! It was a good feeling.

My Words With Friends Addiction

Currently I have 15 games going. There are a couple of people that we keep 2 going at at time. I even have a couple with random strangers because I got bored when none of my regulars were around. I spend every available waking second at the game. I even go to sleep at night pressing the button and waking back up to see that it is still my turn and my opponent is waiting. That's part of the problem, you don't want to turn in and leave someone hanging even though the game will be waiting.

I make sure I leave the laptop out of arms reach because if I wake up in the middle of the night I will turn it on and start playing. Even sadder than that, I wake myself up pounding my leg like I'm hitting the enter key on the keyboard. I used to make fun of my dad when I was taking care of him because he would actually smoke in his sleep. He would go through all the motions of smoking starting with taking the imaginary cigarettes out of the pack to lighting them and finally smoking them....all in his sleep. Now it is me playing an imaginary game on an imaginary keyboard.

We have lots of fun playing. Most of my friends are a challenge but I also have a few that we play just for fun and they don't mind that I beat the pants off them on a daily basis. When they do get that elusive win the taste of victory is just that much sweeter for them because they know I didn't let them win. We have fun messaging back and forth and making fun of the wordplay that sometimes comes out in the game. They also find it hilarious the tantrums that I throw when I lose. I am a poor loser. I didn't used to be that way. I blame lack of O2 to the brain. (poor impulse control)

My friend Sherry and I have a game going constantly as well as Pam ( as in "itspamelaagain"). We are pretty much equally matched. I am so glad she is moved in to her new home and the wedding is over so she has time to play again. Then there is Tina. She fires off 100 point words as easily as most people breathe. I can't even feel safe on the few occasions that I manage to build up a huge lead.
My Aunt Mary says she is a glutton for punishment but she beats me on a regular basis. I was beating her so bad when she first started. (you have to learn the game a little, there is strategy involved). Anyway I was beating her so bad when she first started that she got her daughter, my cousin, Sarah to play to avenge her losses. Sarah definitely beats me most of the time but she has a hard time doing it and we have many hard fought games.

Then I have an aunt who shall remain nameless. She is a Scrabble whiz. She threw a 2 page text tantrum when I resigned one day. I resigned because I had a "G" that I couldn't use. She was beating me by 100 points and it made no sense to continue the game when I couldn't move and even if I did I could not make up the 100 point deficit with one letter anyway. Since I resigned she maintained her win record. It is the gentlemanly thing to do. I have other friends who see the logic in it and we do it all the time. In my aunt's rant she lectured me about finishing what I start which I found hilarious because she had quit everything she has ever done in life except for college. When I pointed out her tirade was excessive she told me her self esteem wasn't tied up in winning which I thought was a very telling statement in it's self. Anyway she doesn't play me anymore but that's her loss, not mine.

Then I have friends who when I first started playing they were beating my pants off. I was cheering them on in their victories too! Then when I got better and started beating them they couldn't handle it. One even told me, "you need to dumb it down or I won't play with you anymore". Needless to say, we don't play now.

Then I have my one word a day friends. They play a word and I play a word and that's it. That's what's so great about the game. You can leave it and come back at your leisure or you can play the whole game. It doesn't matter, it's all up to you.

The Difference Between Lonliness and Being Alone- with commentary by yogapunguin

I live most of my life alone. I enjoy it. I do what I what, when I want and how I want. Most importantly I don't do what I don't want.

I watch a TV show or see a reference in the media to people eating alone in restaurants and other activities and these people are always portrayed as lonely, pitiful individuals craving something more. I frankly do not understand the concept. I have no problem doing anything that I want to do.

I always said that I didn't want children. I hear the media commenting about views like this as something new. Most of the girls I was close friends growing up with do not have children and the ones that do were mostly accidents. We all enjoy children as long as we can give them back when we are finished enjoying them. We have all the love and none of the responsibility which is the best of both worlds as far as I'm concerned.

I listen to my friends complain endlessly about their husbands and children and they never do anything about changing the situation. Of course they also say they love them and wouldn't take anything for them too. Personally I was happily married and I hated to see my marriage end. I don't remember complaining about my husband while married either, but then again we were also best friends.

People think I should be lonely but I'm not. On the rare occasions that I do feel a pang of loneliness I just get out of the house and go see someone that I would like to see. I feel kind of guilty that I don't feel lonely but I certainly am not feeling guilty enough to do anything about it.

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9 CommentsChronological Reverse Threaded

delete reply yogapunguin wrote on Jul 12, '10 Hmmm... you just helped me create a definition for "bad relationship." Bad relationship - the state wherein you are never alone but always lonely.

The Picture of Easter Greed

ONE YEAR AFTER EASTER MY BOSS, JOHN, GAVE ME ALL OF THE LEFTOVER EASTER CANDY. I DON'T MEAN HE GAVE ME A FEW CHOCOLATE BUNNIES AND A COUPLE OF EGGS; HE GAVE ME AT LEAST A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS WORTH OF CANDY.

I IMMEDIATELY SET OFF FOR LOGAN AND SET UP THE CANDY BUFFET AT SIS' HOUSE. SHE HAS A HUGE DINING ROOM TABLE AND THE CANDY FILLED IT UP FROM ONE END TO THE OTHER. IT WAS PILED ABOUT A FOOT DEEP! I CALLED MY NIECE AND NEPHEW OVER TO SURPRISE THEM.

WHEN THEY SAW ALL THAT CANDY THEY NEARLY FELL OVER WITH EXCITEMENT. AUNT PAM WAS THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD TO THEM THAT DAY! I GAVE EACH OF THEM A GROCERY BAG AND TOLD THEM TO FILL IT UP. THEY DOVE RIGHT IN.

AFTER THEY FILLED THEIR BAGS, MY NEPHEW, ARNY ASKED ME IF HE COULD HAVE A BAG OF CANDY FOR HIS FRIEND, TYLER. I TOLD HIM OF COURSE HE COULD. WHEN BECCA SAW HIM GETTING A SECOND BAG (AND I CAN GUARANTEE YOU HE WAS GOING TO SHARE IT - THAT'S THE KIND OF KID HE WAS) SHE WENT NUTS.

SHE WANTED ANOTHER BAG OF CANDY. I REALLY DIDN'T CARE, SO I TOLD HER TO GO AHEAD AND HELP HERSELF. I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT SHE HAD NO INTENTION OF SHARING THAT CANDY EITHER . (THAT'S THE KIND OF KID SHE WAS TOO) AFTER SHE FILLED THE SECOND BAG, SHE ACTUALLY STOOD THERE CRYING AND WAILING THAT SHE NEEDED ANOTHER BAG TO GIVE TO HER FRIENDS.

I WATCHED HER STANDING THERE HOLDING TWO GIANT BAGS OF CANDY AT HER SIDES COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT. I REALLY HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO I TOLD HER TO GET A THIRD BAG FOR HER FRIENDS. SHE DID. I KNOW THAT NOBODY BUT HER EVER SAW A MORSEL OF THAT CANDY EITHER. BUT I AM HER AUNT, NOT HER MOTHER, I COULD INDULGE HER ALL THAT I WANTED.

IT WAS HILARIOUS

I used Skype for the first time last night

I spoke to my 6 year old great niece, Kendall, for the first time ever. It was really special. She is really curious about my side of the family since she doesn't see anyone. She lives in Florida and most of the rest of us live in West Virginia.

I was basically a stranger to her even though I send her Christmas and Birthday presents and little stories along the way. Now she can put a face with the name Auntie Pam.

We will be speaking more often now that I know how to do it. She was really excited to see that the only picture I have in my living room is one of her in her confirmation dress. She is beautiful just like her mommy and grandmother.

She also loved bragging that she was the tallest girl in her class just like her mommy was.

EagleCam | Outdoor Channel | America's Leader in Outdoor TV

Link

Here's a link to the new baby eagle webcam in Shepherdstown, WV. I have been watching them for the past two years. The first year I saw the baby take it's first flight. Last year the baby died.

I believe 2 were born this year.

Things I Meant to Do Before I died but it's too late now.

1. Number one has been deleted. Apparently I have done that one according to my ex husband - it's too bad I don't remember it!!!!

2. Ski, Parachute, bungie jump(all that good adrenaline pumping stuff!) I did go parasailing once. It was completely blogworthy and there is a post about it somewhere.

3. Ride in the Kentucky Derby (I was too big to do that by the time I was 12 but I always dreamed about it)

4. Own a Gutenberg Bible (The crown jewel for any book collector)

5. Win an Olympic medal (We grew up having Olympics in our backyard between Monopoly games!)

6. Be a psychic (That would be too cool)

7. Go on a road trip across America to every hoakie tourist destination that you can think of(from the petrified forest to Mount Rushmore)

8. Own a boat car (I saw one drive into Summersville Lake when I was a kid. It left a lasting impression.)

9. Have my house on top of a mountain and one on the beach and a helicopter to fly between them.

11. Roller Derby and Professional Football Player (I am sooo glad they brought back roller derby and started Women's Pro Football leagues.) My niece does roller derby!

12. Go on Survivor

13. Own a horse - Have a whole zoo for that matter!

14. GO TO MARDI GRAS !!!!!!!

What I did do was become a professional greyhound trainer which satisfied most of those needs and marry a man who had the same motto that I did. "Have Fun No Matter What!!!!