Funny Father's Day Story

A couple of years ago I was working on Father's Day. A father approached me and told me that his son wanted to be alone in the store for the first time so he could buy him a present. I assured him that I would keep a look out for him while his dad waited outside.

The little boy was about 7 years old. He was a chubby, little thing and he was absolutely adorable. I watched as he wandered around the store several times and I noted that he kept ending up in the beer aisle where he would count his money and continue to look around the store. There was a stack of beer there that was the perfect height for him to count his money and I really didn't think anything about it.

I looked up to see this little boy approaching me. He was carrying a huge 24 pack of beer that was so big that he could barely lug it to the counter! He was actually staggering under the weight of it and I thought he would drop it at any second. He strained to lift it onto the checkout counter and I helped him slide it up there. I smiled and asked him if he needed help with something.

"Yes mam," he said, "I would like to buy this for my dad for Father's Day."

I could barely contain my laughter as I politely told him that I wouldn't be able to sell him the beer because it was illegal for him to buy it.

"But mam," he politely protested, "this will make my dad really happy!"

I felt like a heel for telling him no, but I had to. Steve, the other cashier, was standing there chuckling to himself at the picture the little boy presented as well. I offered to get his dad and let him pay for it but the little boy insisted that HE had to make the purchase by himself. I told him I would put the beer back for him and I think he ended up buying his dad a baseball cap or mug or something.

I am quite sure that his dad would probably have enjoyed the beer as much as the boy seemed to think he would but I had to do what I had to do.

Nobody in My Family Died During the Ice Age...

...we store fat as easily as a hot knife cuts butter!

I have to look at the bright side to my body's fat storing capabilities. Otherwise I would be so depressed that it just wouldn't be funny. I diet and diet and diet for weeks and loose weight doing it. The trouble is I find it in one day and it never comes back off that fast.

sigh

One of my doctors suggested lap band surgery. I used to be against it but now I would be all for it if I could pay for it. There have been 7 or 8 people in my family who have either had lap band surgery or a gastric bypass. Only one of them has had any problem from it and she says that her weight loss made even those problems worth having.

So, I'm working on saving for the surgery since I don't seem to be able to lose the weight on my own. There are several others in my family as well who want to have the surgery. My doctor was fascinated to learn that it was such a problem in the family and that my relatives had such good success with the surgery.

There has to be a genetic component to such prolific fat storage capacity. In the meantime, I'll keep working on losing weight the old fashioned way.

the beanie boat

When we were kids we went on a lot of vacations. Anytime we were in Florida we had a friend with a place in Kissimmee which is near Disney World. The trailer was on a canal near a lake and one day while we were out playing we discovered the "beanie boat".

The beanie boat was little more than a raft. It was in the canal a short way from our house and me and Billy and Rhonda spent endless hours on that boat. (no, I don't have any idea who owned it and from the state it was in I would say it was abandoned. We were lucky that it even would float!) Nevertheless we floated up and down that canal like we were Tom Sawyer or somebody.

Our fun on the beanie boat came to an abrupt halt one day when Rhonda (she is the youngest by the way) was giving us a push into the canal because we were stuck in some reeds. She went from being knee deep in the water to straining to hold her head above water in one step! It was everything me and Billy could do to drag her onto the boat. Thank God she didn't let loose of the boat before we grabbed her. We would have NEVER found her in that brackish water and as stupid as we were we would have probably been diving in to find her and drowned ourselves. Our many hours of fun ended in one quick second and once we paddled to shore we never got on the beanie boat again!

After having lived in Florida for a few years I know now that we were lucky not to have been eaten by alligators too! Thankfully we always looked out for each other (when we weren't trying to kill each other in a brotherly and sisterly fashion! hehe).

This is just one of the many things which we did that I look back on and wonder why we weren't killed when we were kids.

note: I am wrong about alligators killing us back then. Even though they are plentiful now, back in the 70's they were on the endangered species list. Happily they have made a tremendous comeback.

Do you tell a stranger when they have a button undone or some other potentially embarrassing situation?

One time I left a restroom with my skirt tucked into my panties. Highly embarrassing! Fortunately I discovered it within minutes, although I do know that one old coot followed me down the hallway when I left the restroom that day. He got a good look at my wide track pontiac ass!

hahahahahhahahahhaa

I have seen many people walk through the store with a zipper undone or a button or some other potentially embarrassing situation going on with their wardrobe. I STOP THEM AND TELL THEM. Everyone I have told has thanked me profusely for not allowing them to be publically humiliated. I just tell them I would want someone to tell me - and I would.

chfpatients.com

This is the best website for congestive heart failure patients that I have ever found.

In the beginning there is a section called "read this first". It describes my life with heart failure to a tee.

I hope this helps someone.

www.chfpatients.com

Well, I made it past the Expiration Date on my Foot

June 16th. was the 5 year anniversary of my heart failure. Basically my body died that day and I keep trying to ressurect it without success...but I keep trying.

When I went into the emergency room that day I was immediately unconcious. When I woke several hours later there was a doctor sitting by my side. When he asked how I was feeling, I told him, "better, I'm ready to go."

He said, "well, there's a problem and I think we need to keep you."

I told him I didn't have the money to pay for the treatment that I had already received and I had to go.

He informed me that the only reason I was feeling better was because I had 2 inches of nitro paste on my chest and if I left I would be dead in a matter of hours...so I called my neighbors to feed my dogs and I stayed in the hospital for a week.

They told me if I didn't change my ways I could die anytime. I undertook a major effort to change my diet and I now have a healthy diet even though I eat too much of the healthy stuff.

I feel much better.

The doctors told me I had a life expectancy of about 5 years. Social Security told me I had 3 years and that expired a year ago. I remember my mom telling me I wasn't going to live until my birthday so she gave me my birthday money a month early to pay my bills. Then she showed up on my doorstep a few weeks later and paid another month of my bills. She told me, "I have just bought a month of your life. It is up to you to take it from here."

My heart is not enlarged anymore. It is normal sized but it still doesn't pump right. I am too full of fluid.

They stopped 2 of my heart meds a couple months ago and I can tell a big difference. There is an energy there that hasn't been there in years. Even with my 3 broken toes healing I am still doing more than I was able to do a couple of months ago. I am doing more than I have been doing in years.

Here's to hope!

My First Engagement Ring

It was red and yellow and blue plastic.

Stevie Goggas gave it to me under the front porch when we were playing cars.

I was 4 years old.