I Remember Pat

I don't remember Pat's last name.
She was a trainer at a kennel I worked in at the West Palm Beach Kennel Club. She was so good to the dogs that she made me feel like I was mean to them. I don't mean that she criticized me. I just mean that she was so gentle that I was amazed at the delicate way she handled them. She was a person who was full of nothing but love.
Unfortunately Pat had health problems. She also had a raging drinking problem. She was also homeless. One time she showed up at the track so drunk that she was staggering everywhere. She even pissed on herself. Instead of talking about pulling her license and taking her job away the other trainers hid her. They cleaned her up while I picked up her dogs. This was a rare show of compasion for someone in the cutthroat world of the dog business.
I grew to love and respect her for her treatment of the greyhounds and to pity her for her health and other problems. The day she was to leave for vacation she thanked me for taking such good care of her dogs. She was relieved that her babies would be getting the kind of care that she felt they deserved. Otherwise she would not have left for her vacation.
She did not come back.
They said she accidentally fell of a cliff while trying to rescue a stranded puppy. I have no doubt that she may have been rescuing a stranded puppy. I do have doubts about her "accidentally" falling off that cliff.
Her final goodbye to me was too poignant for me not to believe that she knew she would not be coming back.
I wonder if anybody else remembers Pat?

They Left Me!

One time I was coming back from Florida with my dad and my husband. Daddy was driving a car. Bobby was driving a van. I was riding with both of them just to talk and keep them awake switching vehicles every time we stopped.

We stopped at a gas station in Bluefield, WV and I got out of my dad's car and climbed into the van while they were both in the gas station. I took a bite of Bobby's cookie and set it down and I decided that I needed to go to the restroom. When I came out of the restroom I was dismayed to see both vehicles rounding the curve getting onto the WV Turnpike! If you ever want to feel your stomach fall to your knees (I don't know why you would) walk out of a building in a strange town over 100 miles from home and watch your ride leave you.

I went in and told the owner of the gas station what had happened. He chuckled to himself saying that in 36 years of business, he had never seen anybody get left behind. He let me use the phone to call the police to try to run my rides down. (my dad got mad about that, because he said that I knew they would be speeding!) The owner of the gas station was also kind enough to give me a pop and some chips because I didn't have a penny on me. He also had a big dog for me to play with - which is all I needed anyway if you know anything about me.

When you get on the WV Turnpike in Bluefield, WV, there is not another exit for at least 75 miles. We were going to Charleston which is about 110 miles away. Each had no reason to suspect that I wasn't in the others' vehicle. About an hour after they left me my dad pulled into the gas station. I was so grateful to see him. I asked if the police found them. He told me no.

It turned out that as they were driving along Bobby went to take a bite of his cookie and noticed that I had taken a bite out of it. He also could see that I wasn't in the car with my dad. He flagged my dad over and daddy turned at one of those emergency exits and came back to get me. He said if it ever happenned again to just wait. If he had to he would send me a bus ticket, but don't ever call the police again

She was a farm girl

My mom was raised on a farm in Sarah Ann, West Virginia. She loved her childhood. It was full of happy memories of animals and her Uncle Toby. Uncle Toby was her 80? year old uncle who wore an immaculate white suit everyday and took his morning constitutional using a walking cane.

Mommy had 18 cats. Her favorite was Tarzan. Tarzan was an orange tabby cat. Unfortunately he froze to death in the middle of the creek. He used to love to sun on a special rock in the middle of the creek. Apparently on night the creek raised and Tarzan couldn't get to the creek bank. When mommy found him the next morning he was frozen to death on his rock.She had another cat named Dotsie. Dotsie had her face kicked in by a rabbit so hard that it permanently pushed her nose up and you could hear each breath as she labored to take it. She lived a long life though.

Every Saturday morning mommy would sit in front of the tv watching

The Abortion Song

A woman goes to a dr. and requests an abortion. He gives her a little blue pill. She goes home and takes it and the fetus is aborted. Nine months later she gives birth to a newborn baby girl. When the baby comes out she jumps up and belts out this song while doing a little dance and waving a top hat:

Duh Duh Du Du Duh (musical build up)

You Killed My Brother...

but You didn't Kill Me!

Duh duh Du Du Duh

I Hid Behind My Mother's...

Left Kidney!

Baby takes a bow.

Awful Knawful

Awful Knawful was my brother, Billy's, nickname. It was a play on Evel Knievel. Billy was as awesome on a bicycle as Evel Kneivel was on a motorcycle. He did stunts back in the 70's that others have just started doing in the last 5 to 10 years or so and they are using modern day bicycles that are built much better than the old "banana seat specials" that we used to have back then.

Billy was always building ramps both big and small. There was NEVER a neighborhood contest that he didn't win. He could outdo anybody on a bike. Probably his greatest stunt was when he would sail out over the riverbank. It was easily over 50 feet horizontally from the top of the bank out to the river and there was about a 50 foot vertical drop as well! There was about a 25 or 30 foot drop to the first bank that was about 10 foot wide and then there was a drop off again to the river. He would consistently sail out over the bank and slide his bike sideways down the second bank stopping right beside the river without ever getting his tires wet!

Others tried. All failed. Most would just kind of flip over the side of the first bank which resulted in a nasty head over bike roll to the first bank. Even more painful would be the flying out and landing solid on the first bank. (a true ballbuster move which brought chortles of glee from all who watched). The few who did manage to land exactly on the slope of the bank like Billy (he was the gold standard after all) would invariably careen into the river and then we had the tedious task of digging their bikes out of the sucking river mud. (these rescues had to be conducted in secrecy because we weren't allowed over the river bank afterall).

Anyway Long Live Awful Knawful!

The Last of My Living With Heart Disease Posts

This is the end of my series about living with heart disease. I hope it has been enlightening without being boring. I started the month with an absolutely dreadful picture of myself on a bad day on my bi-pap machine.

I had just had a really bad a-fib episode and I spent about the next 3 weeks on the machine for around 15 to 18 hours per day. I started feeling better last week. I am still on the machine too long but it is down to around 12 hours a day and that is overnight without a nap in the middle of the day. Although I desperately need that nap still I am trying to ween myself again and I am keeping busy.

So I end the month with a new picture of myself in my feeling better mode. Please note the artful placement of my hand to hide my double chin.

The EXACT Second I Realized I Was Old

t was in 1989. I had been watching the movie "Beaches" with my stepdaughters.

When it was over, Kandi looked at me and said, "Can you believe it, Bette Midler can really sing!!!"

She was absolutely incredulous when she said it.

I was absolutely speechless.