Living with heart disease I

I wrote this on my one year anniversary of life with heart failure.

It's time for me to celebrate. It is my one year anniversary of life. On June 16,2006 , I was in a hospital emergency room dying. It turns out that I have an advanced case of congestive heart failure. For a few days the doctors did not think that I was going to make it.

I was at work when things started to fade and my hands would not do what my mind was telling them to do. I called for help to replace me and drove myself to the emergency room. I must not have been doing a very good job because I remember alot of car horns blowing. I collapsed as soon as they put me in the ER bed. After several hours I woke up and there was a dr. sitting there asking me how I was feeling. I told him better and that I was ready to go home. He laughed and told me that I wasn't going anywhere that they were going to keep me. I told him they couldn't keep me because I didn't have insurance and I couldn't pay them for whatever they had already done. That's when he told me that the only reason I was feeling better was because I had 2 inches of nitro paste on my chest and if I left the hospital that I would be dead in 2 hours. He said not to worry about payment that they would make arrangements for me. I couldn't argue with logic like that and I went back to sleep. I was in the hospital for 5 days. When they released me I was still to weak to make it on my own and I ended up back in the hospital for 4 more days.

I have made great progress since that time. I have lost 49 lbs. (unfortunately I had gained over 100 pounds in a matter of months due to my heart condition)When I got out of the hospital I had to shop at Walmart using their wheelchair cart for months. When people would see me out they would avert their eyes because I looked like walking death. When I first got out of the hospital I had to wear oxygen around the clock. I couldn't even take it off to go the the bathroom. Now I am supposed to wear it only at night but I still sometimes have to use it during the day. I am still taking the same medicines that I was taking then but I am feeling much stronger. I could not work at all during the first 4 months and I had to sell everything I own to pay my bills.

I am working 3 evenings a week(but I am allowed to take it easy and I miss work whenever I need to). I am receiving Social Security Disability which is the reason I am still alive. I started trying to work 5 evenings a week in November and it almost killed me. (but I needed to eat and put a roof over my head) I ended up back in the hospital again. The Social Security started in March. I am renting a room from a nice lady because I lost my house. I lost all my pets including 2 beautiful white german shepherds, a lab mix, a maltese, a chinese crested and 4 cats. I was able to find what I hope are good homes for all of them. I thought for awhile that they would have to go to the animal shelter. I have managed to keep my truck which for me is a glorified wheelchair because I have a hard time walking a block. (but at least I can do it if I have to-I couldn't hardly get from the parking lot to the wheelchair cart for months)

I have taught myself to do the basics on a computer in the past year. I figured why not since I couldn't do anything else anyway. I am going to start a basic computer class on Monday. . I have learned that I can't depend on my family for anything but that's alright I had some good friends step in when they saw I was homeless and that my family wasn't going to help.

Anyway I am alive and that is something to celebrate

By the way what the hell is that smiley doing anyway?

I have seen all 3 of my doctors in the last 3 weeks. 2 don't want to see me for 6 months and the others said call him if I need to see him. I have crossed a major milestone!