realizations

1. I've come to realize that writing this blog is quite cathartic.

2. I've come to realize that I see many of the events of my life in quite a different light after I write about them and reread them at a later date.

3. I've come to realize that I spent my life blaming my brother for the demise of my family when I should have been blaming my parents - they were the parents afterall. What a weight for a child to bear.

4. I've come to realize that the person who spent my childhood teaching me that I was responsible for ALL my own actions (even when I was a small child) has never taken responsiblity for anything that went wrong in her life - everything has always been somebody elses fault (according to her)

5. I've come to realize that most people are hypocrits and will lie to save a nickel anytime they can.

6. I've come to realize that most people have not had nearly as much fun in their lives as I have.

7. I've come to realize that I can cheat on my diet all I want but my body keeps perfect score.

8. I've come to realize that I'm NOT the one.

9. I've come to realize that the only person who cares about me is me.

10. I've come to realize that everything in my world (both good and bad) is a result of my own actions.

11. I've come to realize that I have no self discipline anymore.

12. I've come to realize that all that self discipline that I used to have got me NOTHING.

13. I've come to realize that the times I have done best in my life had nothing to do with the economy - it was due to my own hard work.

14. I've come to realize that I would be a nudist if it were legal.

15. I've come to realize that all the charity I gave out in my life has not come back to me in kind - unless you count the US government.

16. I've come to realize that I have a sucky family.

17. I've come to realize that suppressing my emotions doesn't make the problems go away.

18. I've come to realize I am getting stronger every day.

19. I've come to realize that I STILL don't care what other people think about me.

20. I've come to realize that I have written many things in this blog that I wouldn't have written if I hadn't thought I was dying - oh well, I'll leave 'em anyway.