This morning I tweezed an eyebrow hair that was almost 2 inches long. I don't understand this because I am one of those strange people that usually tweeze too much. How did that one get by me? I have blonde eyebrows and they are hard to see but still....
Who would ever imagine that an eyebrow hair could ever get that long except for on an old man?
The really sad part is the strange feeling of satisfaction I got from observing it for about 5 minutes.
Yesterday I was at Fruth. I was coming from the back when one of my regular female customers waved frantically for me to come to her. She was squatting in the floor beside the wine bottles. At first I thought she must want some brand that we were out of but that was not the case.
SHE HAD TO PEE! SHE HAD TO PEE SO BAD THAT SHE WAS AFRAID THAT IF SHE STOOD UP SHE WOULD PUDDLE UP RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE.
I asked her what she wanted me to do.
"Bring me a commode." She said to me seriously. I told her I would if I could but that didn't seem to be a realistic solution to the problem. So she suppressed a smile and I realized that my sick sense of humor was seriously misplaced right now. One good chuckle and we would need a mop bucket!
So I started to calm her. I told her to take her time and we could just talk until she felt like she could make it to the bathroom. I wasn't working so I had plenty of time to kill. So we talked and she calmed down until she was able to walk to the restroom. When she came back she thanked me for telling her about the men's room.
I knew it was first and I didn't want her to think she needed to walk past it if she couldn't make it. So she did her business and a crisis was diverted. 
I haven't been in quite that bad of a situation but I have been to the point where I thought my eyeballs would float out of my head if I didn't get to a bathroom in time. Especially since I have to take fluid pills now. I actually get up and take them at 4am because I want the effects of them to be over so I can start my day without any unseemly interruptions.
While I'm on the subject...
I have learned that if I need to puke then I can't just go to the bathroom anymore and pray to the porcelain god! Now, when I throw up I have to sit on the toilet and up chuck into a bucket because every time my body strains to puke my bladder sends a stream of equal proportions out the other end.
THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN HAVING TO CLEAN UP A BATHROOM FLOOR FULL OF PISS EVEN THOUGH YOU MADE IT TO THE BATHROOM IN PLENTY OF TIME TO UP CHUCK IN THE TOILET!
THANK GOD I NOT BULIMIC!
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