In honor of the cold snap, I thought I would repost one of my all time favorite blogs.
WHEN
I MOVED BACK FROM FLORIDA IT WAS JANUARY AND I THOUGHT I HAD BROUGHT
BACK ALL MY HEAVIEST WINTER CLOTHES. I QUICKLY DISCOVERED THAT AFTER
LIVING IN FLORIDA FOR FIVE YEARS, I HAD NO WINTER CLOTHES. I ABSOLUTELY
COULD NOT GET WARM.
I
KEPT MY THERMOSTAT ON 90 DEGREES OR MORE AND WHEN PEOPLE CAME TO VISIT
ME THEY COULDN'T GET THEIR BREATH BECAUSE IT WAS SO HOT IN MY HOUSE.
ONE DAY I HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA
OF HOW TO GET WARM.I HAD A HAMMOCK.
I HAD A FLOOR FURNACE.
I SET UP MY HAMMOCK OVER THE FLOOR FURNACE.
THE
WHOLE TIME I WAS SETTING UP THE HAMMOCK I WAS WHISTLING IN
ANTICIPATION OF FINALLY BEING WARM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH!
I EASED MYSELF INTO THE HAMMOCK AND IT TOOK ABOUT 10 SECONDS FOR ME TO DISCOVER THAT THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
MY ASS WAS ON FIRE. 
I WAS LITERALLY COOKING OVER THE FLAMES.
TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THERE WAS VERY LITTLE ROOM ON EACH SIDE OF THE
FURNACE (IT WAS IN THE HALLWAY) AND I HAD TO EASE MYSELF OUT OF THE
HAMMOCK WITHOUT FALLING ONTO THE GRILL OF THE FURNACE BELOW!
IT WAS TRULY AN "OUT OF THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE" SITUATION.
AFTER
EXTRICATING MYSELF FROM THIS PAINFUL SITUATION I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR
AT MY BOTTOM. IT HAD GRIDDLE MARKS ON IT IN THE SHAPE OF THE HAMMOCK.
MY ASS LITERALLY LOOKED LIKE TWO GIANT HAMS THAT HAD JUST COME OUT OF THE OVEN!
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