First Do Gooder Announcement for 2010

Ever since Thanksgiving Fruth Pharmacy has been giving me food to give out in our building almost everytime I go to work. The stuff is newly outdated or damaged in shipping and could not be sold and they would just throw it away anyway. I always check for signs of food poisoning because some of the people I give it to are not able to look for such things. (for example I had them throw away about 10 jars of mayonaise they were going to give me).

It is nice that my bosses care enough to make a difference and it is not costing anyone a penny.

Thanks to Maggie for giving me the crochet footies. I gave them to a woman with cerebral palsy who is confined to a wheelchair. Even though the footies were sized for children they fit Dianna perfectly and her apartment is always cold.

Thank You Kay for my Swahili Lessons

You can say: ndio, nime maliza - yes I have finished baado, kidogo ime bakiya - not yet, some is still left :P Asante sana...squashed banana lol just a line from the Lion King animation ume maliza ku nunua vitu va krismasi? Have you finished ur Christmas shopping? Asante sana ;) karibu - welcome tafadali - please :D how's ur book coming along? Jambo jambo. Shikamo? (you say marahaba) ;)

My Sugar Curl

My mom is still proud of my sugar curl. That is my curl on top of my head. She made it out of real sugar.

I think I offended her one time when I asked her if bugs would swarm my head.

On the back of the picture it says, "please send this one back".

She didn't have a lot of money so she would send the family my picture so they could see it and when they sent it back , she would send it to somebody else.

She got this particular picture back about 6 months ago. I am 46 years old. It took my aunt 45 years to return it.

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A Shock to the System

When I was little my mom says I stuck a barette in the electric outlet.

The electric shock was so fierce that I was thrown across the room.

After that I wouldn't even go into the room. We had one of those houses that had the 4 doorways in the center and you could step into any room or walk around. She said that I would always walk around after that. no matter what room I started in.

If I saw an electric outlet anywhere I would say, "BITES!"

Awful Knawful!

Awful Knawful was my brother, Billy's, nickname. It was a play on Evel Knievel. Billy was as awesome on a bicycle as Evel Kneivel was on a motorcycle. He did stunts that others have just started doing in the last 5 to 10 years or so and they are using modern day bicycles that are built much better than the old "banana seat specials" that we used to have in the 70's.

Billy was always building ramps both big and small. There was NEVER a neighborhood contest that he didn't win. He could outdo anybody on a bike. Probably his greatest stunt was he would sail out over the riverbank. It was easily over 50 feet horizontally from the top of the bank out to the river and there was about a 50 foot vertical drop as well! There was about a 25 or 30 foot drop to the first bank that was about 10 foot wide and then there was a dropoff again to the river. He would consistently sail out over the bank and slide his bike sideways down the second bank stopping right beside the river without ever getting his tires wet!

Others tried. All failed. Most would just kind of flip over the side of the first bank which resulted in a nasty head over bike roll to the first bank. Even more painful would be the flying out and landing solid on the first bank. (a true ballbuster move which brought chortles of glee from all who watched). The few who did manage to land exactly on the bank like Billy (he was the gold standard after all) would invariably careen into the river and then we had the tedious task of digging their bikes out of the sucking river mud. (these rescues had to be conducted in secrecy because we weren't allowed over the river bank afterall).

Anyway Long Live Awful Knawful!

I was a Centipede Wizard!

When I was a teenager, I was a Centipede Wizard! Centipede was a video game like PacMan only much more fast paced.

People use to pay me to play. Sometimes the game room owners would unplug the machine. I could play for up to 45 minutes on one quarter.

If I saw a new machine , I would play 3 times. The top 3 scores were permanent. Someone had to beat you to take off your name. The only person in the state who could beat me lived in Charleston.

I found a machine after not playing for 20 years.

I still set the high score!

Laddie - oh--oh-oh--oh-oh!

Before some of ya'll start lecturing me about this story, please remember it happenned in the 70's.

Laddie O was an adorable little cocker spaniel mix that showed up on our doorstep one day. He was sooo cute. He was a solid blond color with the same color eyes. He enjoyed tromping through the river mud and he kept getting us in trouble because he would get it all over us and the patio and porches. This was NOT his biggest flaw.

Laddie was hit by a car seven times (actually 6 - I will explain).

After he was hit by a car the fifth time (making a total of four broken hind legs and one broken shoulder) my mom decreed that if he ever got hit again, she would not pay the vet bills. We were instructed to keep him in his pen or tied up. As usual we felt sorry for him and let him out to play.

Laddie was lying in the back yard eating a bone. Rusty was in the front yard mowing grass. Rusty hit a piece of iron pipe and it went flying through the air (I witnessed all this taking place). The iron pipe hit Laddie O in the in the shoulder and broke his leg in the exact same place. The cast had only been off for a week.

As poor Laddie lay screaming on the ground beside his beloved bone, my mom comes out and looks at him with dismay. All of us kids are crowded around him begging her for another chance. After all, what happenned wasn't his fault. It was just plain, old, bad luck! So once again mommy loads Laddie up and takes him to the vet. That was trip number six.

One day she had just left the house and a neighbor comes over and tells me Laddie had been hit by a car again. He was lying in the middle of the road. I rushed out with Billy and Rhonda and we scrape him off the road - but he is alive. I go to the payphone and I call my dad crying and begging to take Laddie to the vet again. He tells me it is ok to take him. (I had just passed my driver's test)

We hurriedly loaded Laddie up (partly because his condition was so serious and partly because we knew that as soon as my mom found out that she would be furious). We rushed to the vet's office and they start to administer emergency care. My mom comes in about five minutes after we get there and tells them to stop everything. She would not pay for anymore treatment.

My brother points out to her that she might as well let them finish because she was going to have to pay for what they had already done. She agreed - under one condition. The vet had to keep Laddie and find a home for him when he was well. He did.

I heard once that Laddie had been running through our junior high school and they had to chase him on all three floors before they ran him out of the building. About 3 years later, I was working at Burger Chef. I looked outside to see Laddie bumming food in the parking lot. By the time I called my mom and received permission to bring him home he was gone - never to be seen again.