Saturday, October 15, 2011

My Prank Backfired on Me

I was a ghost at a friend's Halloween party for her daughter. There were at least 50 kids there from infant to 12 years old. I spent the night running around the outside of the house appearing at windows and doorways and hiding before the kids could find me. (I was a very effective ghost!)

At the end of the evening I decided to go upstairs and run through the crowd and scare the living daylights out of the little buggers before I went home. I sneaked in the front door and up the stairs and burst into the room screaming and running through those lovely children. The next thing I knew this mob of screaming, clawing, biting, hitting, kicking children started whaling on me unmercifully!!! They were screaming, "KILL THE GHOST! KILL THE GHOST!!" There were no adults up there to help me or take control of the situation either.

If I had not had years of experience breaking up greyhound fights without hurting the dogs, I would have been forced to hurt those kids just to break free! When I had finally extricated myself from the mob I took off running. The only part of my costume that was left on me was a piece around my neck and a piece around my waist. Just when I got to the top of the stairs one of the little bastards clotheslined me! I was dangling down the stairs and the only thing holding me up was a piece of material around my neck that was strangling me!

I managed to twist my neck so that I broke free and promptly went thumping down the stairs to land at Sis' feet who was running to see what all the commotion was. At this point I thought the whole thing was hilarious and recounted the story of the kids trying to kill the ghost. We all had a good laugh.
I wasn't laughing the next morning.

I went to get out of bed and I couldn't. I mean I was physically unable to raise up and what little bit I did move put me in excruciating backstabbing pain. It took me about 20 minutes to roll out of bed. I had to crawl to a phone to call for help. When I told my boss I couldn't walk, he thought I had a sprained ankle or something. I had to explain to him that my legs were paralyzed and I had dragged myself in pain to the phone. He said he would be right over.

I managed to stand and get myself to the car before he got there. I drove myself to the hospital and when I went to get out of the car I couldn't stand up again. I pulled myself up by sheer strength of will and my arms only and was supporting myself between the door and the roof of the car when a man found me. He was kind enough to go into the hospital and get a wheelchair to wheel me in.

Anyway it took 6 months of therapy and 2 years to get myself right again.

What's your favorite Hamburger Helper?

I guess I am fascinated by the variety of Hamburger Helper because I am not allowed to eat it anymore because of the salt content.

I used to adore the Cheesy Enchilada flavor though. Something about that powdered sour cream sauce that I drizzled over the top got to me. It tastes better than real sour cream! The Potato Stroganoff was pretty good too.

Also there is not one of the recipes that can't be duplicated using the one pan method and it's actually tastier and easier to do your own most of the time. I guess the fact that it is so cheap is one great selling point. It is also just part of Americana now - just like little white powdered doughnuts. There is not a store in America that doesn't sell these things.

I've never had the Asian Flavors at all. I didn't know they even existed.

Asian Helper Beef Fried Rice, Chicken Fried Rice, Asian Helpers� Mongolian-Style Beef , Chicken Lo Mein

Friday, October 14, 2011

I Saw Bigfoot

These are pictures that look like what I saw

I saw a creature.

I was driving over Blair Mountain going around the first kiss your ass curve on the Boone County side. The "bigfoot" was just on the other side of the guardrail and all I saw was it's back as it took 2 steps down the side of the mountain. The only way I can describe it is it looked like a foxman. It was covered in reddish fur with pointed ears on top of its head (like a fox). It was built like a tall, slender man. The point where it was walking over the mountain, is too steep for any human to walk down.

When my headlights flashed on it I could see it from the waist up. It took one step down the mountain and then I could see it from it's shoulders up. Then my headlights went out of range from the creature.

It was about 5 a.m. I was on my way to work. I have never driven over Blair Mountain at night since.

There is a website called Shadowlands. In it you can find ghost stories, myths and creature sitings by state listing. Under West Virginia in the town of Iaeger there is a story about a foxlike creature scaring people on 4 wheeler trails and even a woman in her home one night. Iaeger is about 30 miles from Blair Mountain as the crow flies but they are connected by numerous roads and trails. It is conceivable that it is the same creature even though I have lived in Logan all my life and I have never heard any stories about a creature on Blair Mountain. I have heard stories about Blair Mountain being haunted but those are ghost stories.

I have also seen references on the computer to a "dogman" in the area as well. I am still researching them

Thursday, October 13, 2011

20 Questions lifted from "Simply Cynful"

1) What is the most revolting thing in your fridge right now?
a papertowl in the back of the bottome shelf with some blood on it.
2) Ever smoked pot?
3) Ever eaten a quart of ice cream in one sitting?
not that I can remember but I probably have
4) Most memorable childhood memory?
wiffle ball in the back yard
5) Most stupid thing you have ever done?
there is no "most". there are so many
6) Closest friend?

7) Number of relationships?
does this mean sexual or family or friends or what?
8) Dream job?
Greyhound Trainer...I did it and I loved it
9) Biggest fashion faux pas?
apparently it's my crocs
10) Favorite recent memory?
I'm in a downward trend right recent faves
11) Fake tan or sunbed?
hehe. Simply Cynful says that she is waiting for her freckles to merge into a permanent tan...I've been saying that my whole life. It's nice to meet someone else with the same problem.

12) How many times have you crashed your car?
I've been responsible for 4 counting fender benders. Only 1 that I consider a crash though. I have been hit by others more times than I want to think about.
13) Are you superstitious?

14) Most revolting habit?
biting my fingernails and using them for toothpicks.
15) What was your teenage rebellion?
a boyfriend, a robbery and drinking to oblivion
16) Wax or shave?
I only waxed one strip one time in the 80's......NEVER again
17) Unusual skills?
none now...I was a Centipede wiz in the old days though
18) Celebrity crush?
nobody in particular, just lust after lots in general
19) Any regrets?

20) Does size matter?
yes, if your shoes are too small they really hurt.


When I was 12 years old I got a yellow Panasonic tape recorder for my birthday. One day I was being silly and was walking around the house interviewing household appliances. I would interview the commode and flush it for an answer or the door and slam it at the appropriate time. I did this all over the house.

At the end of my interview I asked the question, "Is there anybody else in this house that wants to be interviewed?" Of course there was no answer and I turned off the tape. However when I replayed the tape and I asked the question, just as I asked it, I did get an answer. I heard a cat meow.

My cat had been missing for about 10 days. We had no other cats. I never did see my cat again. I wonder...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I Love a Good Scare

One time when I was about 15 my parents left after we had gone to bed. I was lying in bed just dozing off when my closet door flung open and slammed against the wall! My brother jumped up and screamed at me in the doorway!
I screamed what was probably the most terrorized scream of my life. It was a deep, gutteral scream that came from the depths of my soul. I sincerely thought that Frankenstein (my brother was about 6 foot tall) was coming to get me.

I never slept with my bedroom door open ever again.
Billy had taken over an hour to silently crawl into my bedroom so that he could scare the crap out of me! We still laugh about that scream to this day.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Happy Birthday Frankie Baby!

Once upon a time there was a penguin named Punguin. He was a happy- go- lucky penguin who lived his life in an icy, cold pantry. Penguin had big dreams. He wanted to vacation in the warm forests for once in his life.

One day Punguin, the penguin, entered a trivia contest. Punguin was quite good at trivia and he won the contest. The prize was an all expense paid trip to the luxurious Greenbriar, a 5 star hotel in West Virginia. Penguin was thrilled and the day came when a special chartered, refrigerated jet picked him up and flew him to WV. It was beautiful. What a contrast to the frozen tundra of his pantry. It was everything he had ever dreamed it would be.

Punguin, the penguin, enjoyed himself immensely at the Greenbriar. He decided to call his friend, Pam, who happened to live nearby. She came right over and they cavorted and played all over the resort. they decided to take a hike on one of the trails. They stopped for a picnic. They had just opened a can of herring and unwrapped the crepes that Pam had prepared as a surprise for him. When they heard a crazed scream in the woods. It was a scream that curdled their little toes and they huddled together as a wildcat strode into the glade. It didn't look like it wanted herring for dinner either.

The wildcat took a giant leap with Punguin dead in it's sights. Pam and Punguin were petrified! At the same time as the wildcat jumped at them there was a mighty crash in the trees. Faster than the speed of light the great, spotted, she abbagoochie swooped down and slaughtered the wildcat! It never knew what hit it.

Pam and Punguin hugged each other in relief as the great, spotted, she abbagoochie told them, "There's no need to fear, as long as the great, spotted, she abbagoochie is here."

they were grateful and invited the great, spotted, she abbagoochie to join them in a feast of herring and crepes and some lovely tea.

They lived happily ever after.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

How to Release your Holy Ghost

This is a game we used to play when we were kids. Is there a version of it where you grew up?

First of all the game is meant to inflict pain. Kind of like when you used to punch your brother in the leg and holler "CHARLEY HORSE!" Remember that one? Here is what you do to release your holy spirit.

Take a friend's hand and clasp your hand around their wrist - effectively shutting off the circulation is the goal. Then you SLAP their hand as hard as you can and they IMMEDIATELY close it into a fist. At which point you VIGOROUSLY massage their fist and each finger and generally create friction and pain all over their poor hand. All the while both of you are laughing deleriously at each other.

Then ask your friend, "ARE YOU READY TO SET FREE YOUR HOLY SPIRIT!", in your best fire and brimstone voice. When they say yes and open their hand to you, you have to simultaneously

1. let go of their wrist

2. pinch the palm of their hand and move your hand away in an upward motion while holding their holy spirit between your forefinger and thumb.

If you have successfully released their holy ghost then they will feel the spirit leave their hand.