Friday, October 30, 2009

Pure Blind Terror

One year I met my sister-in-law with my niece and nephew for a walk on a haunted trail at Cato Park. It was full of pretty standard Halloween monsters and gore which my obnoxious niece (she was thirteen at the time) pretty much spoiled for the rest of the group with her teenage mouth. The absolute biggest scare (and the only surprise) came at the very end of the trail.
We came upon an accident scene complete with wrecked cars and mangled bodies strewn everywhere. As we were standing there looking at the carnage, all of a sudden at the exact same time all of dead bodies leaped to their feet and starting running toward us and chasing anybody that ran. It even scared my sarcastic niece! My poor nephew (eight years old) started running. The problem was that when he turned to run, he ran straight into me. He was not even aware that he hit me. I could feel his little arms and knees pumping as he continued to run - not realizing that he wasn't going anywhere. He just kept running into me. It was a good thing that he hit me because if I had been a tree he would have probably been knocked out he hit me so hard.
I had to pick him up and carry him for a little way down the trail because he was in a mindless state of pure blind terror. It was hilarious. In a way I felt sorry for him because I knew exactly how he felt. I knew how to comfort him though because I know through experience what it feels like for somebody to scare you out of your mind.

The Scariest Haunted House Ever!

When I was in the second grade my friend Suzanne and I were paling around at our school carnival. That was the year they had a haunted house in the clinic. It had a dead body and bowls of eyeballs and brains and all kinds of delicious scary stuff. We went in several times - each time getting a little braver and a little more mouthy. On our last trip in we looked over at the werewolf in the corner. It had been standing there everytime and we hadn't paid much attention to it. It screamed and came at us with it's arms outstretched to grab us! IT SCARED US SILLY! We raced screaming out of the clinic. That was our last visit for the night.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Halloween is better now than it used to be

I d Halloween as an adult. I have made every holiday a good one. Going all out with decorations, costumes and candy every year.

Except for the school party, I hated it when I was a kid. Back in the 60's and early 70's my mom would go to the dime store and buy those costumes in a box. There would be a mask with an elastic band to go around your head. Most of the time the band would break before we even started trick or treating. Then there was the one piece multipurpose plastic sheath that covered us from shoulders to knees - it had a picture drawn on it of whatever it was that you were supposed to be. The witch would have a witches dress drawn on it, the werewolf would have a dog on it and of course the doctor would have a doctor's labcoat complete with a stethoscope on it.

Those costumes were pretty terrible and to make matters worse my mom would make us put them on over our coats because she didn't want us to catch a cold. We looked like colorful Goodyear blimps running around the neighborhood getting a bunch of second rate candy from all the neighbors. The Clark's always gave us Clark bars, the Flynn's would give out apples (every kid's dream). It was a good thing that I liked smarties (we used to use them for pills when we played doctor) because we had a pumpkin full of them.

The school party was pretty cool. We would have candy and cupcakes with candy corn decorations. Usually we would even get one of those tiny little single serving ice creams that were only partly melted. Of course you got the little wooden spatula to eat it with. We would make Halloween pictures and play games. Then every class would tour all the other classes in the Halloween costume parade. There would be the vote for best costume every year and the same kids would win every year. You know the ones, their mothers would take the time to painstakingly sew a perfect costume for them and even hold them out of school in the morning so they could show up in the perfect Halloween costume for the party.

When I got a little older (5th or 6th grade) I started putting together my own costume. I had a long dress with paisley's on it. It was perfect for a gypsy dress. With a little added jewelry and a colorful scarf, it was actually a pretty good costume. I also turned it into the "Carol Burnette Cleaning Lady Costume". That one was easy. I just put on the dress. Smudged my cheeks with a little make up and grabbed a bottle of window cleaner and a rag - viola!

Don't Go in the Graveyard!

Ihave generally made it a policy to avoid graveyards especially at night. The only time I have ever been in a graveyard at night was with two friends. We were walking a trail and got caught out after dark and we had to pass through a very old cemetery on our way out of the woods. I was leading the way and we were walking single file because the trail was narrow.
All of a sudden I hear a thunderous noise coming down the mountain right at me. I screamed and took off running absolutely terrorized out of my mind. I heard Oscar and James cackling uproariously and I knew that they had played a joke on me. James had taken a large rock and thrown it up the mountain so that it would roll down right at me. His aim was perfect. I couldn't have been more scared if someone had risen from the dead (which is what I thought had happenned)!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


One time when I was about 15 my parents left after we had gone to bed. I was lying in bed just dozing off when my closet door flung open and slammed against the wall! My brother jumped up and screamed at me in the doorway! I screamed what was probably the most terrorized scream of my life. It was a deep gutteral scream that came from the depths of my soul. I sincerely thought that Frankenstein (my brother was about 6 foot tall) was coming to get me.

I never slept with my bedroom door open ever again.