Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Billy 4th. grade

This is my brother, Billy, when he was in the 4th. grade.
That is the year that he hit Mrs. Browining, a pink haired little old lady (his teacher). Everybody was scandalized. That was also the year he threw the circuit breakers when the teacher was in the bathroom.
She retired after that year.
The next year his 5th. grade teacher, Mrs. Craddock, also retired at the end of the school year. She had blue hair. That was the year he got in trouble for taking all the newspapers out of the newspaper box every morning and selling them at school.
He always was looking for a way to make a nickel. He was a young Alex P. Keaton, even before there was an Alex P. Keaton.

Monday, May 4, 2009

"I peppered his ass with a little corn"

I have been sitting in the computer room listening to one of the men that live here talk about the thieves in the building. Apparently he tries to plant a garden every year and the same people come year after year and either trample his plants or outright steal his produce. Last year he became so enraged that he lay in wait for one of the offenders.

When the would be thief came to steal his tomatoes, he peppered his ass with corn kernels that he had loaded into a slingshot. The net effect is just like somebody with buckshot. It hurts their pride more than their dignity.

Of course the thief calls the police and tells them that the old man shot him. The police come to question the shooter and he tells them "Of course I peppered his ass with a little corn! I've been complaining to you guys for years about them stealing my tomatoes and you won't do anything about it! I shoot a guy with a little corn and you guys are all up in arms."

The police let him go with a warning.