Saturday, November 27, 2010

My Amputee Santa

I have an amputee Santa! I am thrilled!

The other night when I was getting ready to leave work I happened to see in the damaged box an Amuptee Santa. I was so happy, I started to laugh and go on. My boss and my friends started to choke back their laughter because they thought I was nuts!

They didn't realize until I explained, my dad was an amputee. They saw how much that Santa meant to me so my boss gave it to me. (It was in the damaged bin because they were going to throw it away) So I have saved yet another "toy" from the "Island of Misfit Toys".

My Amputee Santa may possibly be my new favorite Christmas decoration. (of course, that could easily change when I start to unpack all that stuff) But for now, he is much loved and will have a place of honor amongst my Christmas ornamentation.

Crip the Elf Toymaker

Crip is gone. Crip is an elf. I named him Crip after I bought him 19 years ago. Just a couple of years after I bought him, he developed a tic which caused him to slowly walk across the floor to the length of his electrical cord. With every swing of his hammer he jolted a little further. Everyday I would have to place him back in the display and I watch him slowly creep across the floor.

I have all kinds of animated Christmas Decorations. I have Santa Claus coming out of a chimney because a couple of years ago he got diesel exhaust stains on his beard and costume. Now I make him come out of a chimney and he looks perfect.

I have Mrs. Claus and other elves and reindeer and even a stable for the reindeer. I can sit and look at my Christmas display for hours and do so often.When people come over and see them you can tell by the expression on their faces they are mesmerized.

Anyway, one day a couple of years ago I looked over and Crip was stuck. So I went over and unplugged him and moved him to the center of my Christmas display. I assured him that he would always have a special place in my decorations. I had been expecting him to break for about 10 years and it finally happened.

I will plug him in Christmas morning again and see what happens. You never know when there might be a Christmas miracle.

The Ugly Angel

A few years ago I was shopping at a store called Hill's. I was in the clothing section and I picked up a Christmas Ornament that someone had lain down. It was absolutely the ugliest angel that I had ever seen. I thought "My God, Who would even make such an ugly ornament," and I laid it back down. A few weeks later I was in the Christmas aisle and once again I saw this ugly ornament in a department she wasn't supposed to be in.


I went back a few times checking out the new decorations as they came in. Each time I would see this ugly angel in a different place. Finally I said to myself, "It must be meant for me to buy this angel, if it is here when Christmas goes to 90% off, I'll buy it." I waited until January and I went back into Hill's with one intention - to buy the ugly angel. I went to the markdown table and went through everything and the ugly angel was not there. I walked through the whole empty Christmas department looking for the angel and she was not to be found. I finally decided that as hard as it was to believe , someone had actually bought that ugly angel!


With my very last step as I was leaving the Christmas department, I kicked something and it went flying across the floor. It was the Ugly Angel! It was like she was saying, "Please don't leave me!" I was actually very happy that I had found her and I bought her for 10 cents. I have all kinds of really neat Christmas decorations and I have been looking for years for a beautiful Christmas Angel but I have never found one that I wanted as much as that ugly angel. Every year she has a place of honor in my Christmas decorations and everyone that has ever seen her can't believe how incredibly ugly she is. She makes people smile and that is all that matters

Friday, November 26, 2010

I have a Collection from the Island of Misfit Toys

I recently acquired my Amputee Santa. He is a Santa Claus that was to be thrown away at work because he is missing a foot. I fell in love with him because my dad was an amputee and I know this Santa will decorate my house just fine.

I also have an Ugly Angel. I rescued her from the floor of a department store at a 90% off sale after Christmas. She is the ugliest angel that I or anyone I have ever shown her to has ever seen. She also has the sweetest smile ever on her face.

Then I have Crip. He is an animated Elf toymaker. For years he walked among my animated toys one click at a time because he had a crick that caused him to move everytime he twitched. He doesn't move anymore but he is still in the center of all my animated figures because he worked hard at Christmas for me for years.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Why I don't shop on Black Friday

I went to Walmart back in 2000 because I wanted a tv. I had sprained my ankle but even if I could have walked like a normal person I would not have participated in the riot that ensued as soon as they announced they were open at 5 a.m.

I was standing in a crowd of people near a huge pile of merchandise that was covered in paper because they wanted it to be a secret what was underneath it until the opening bell. As soon as they ripped off the paper at 5 o'clock a huge riot started. People started to run and scream and shove and push. It looked like one of those 50's tv shows where they show people fighting over a sale item.

I watched everyone run away and leave their empty buggies while they carried huge computers and tv's and VCR's. People were dropping them and dragging them. There would be no way those things could have worked when they got them home!

As I stood alone in the sea of buggies I looked over and "viola" there were the tv's I wanted. I made my way through the maze and when I got to the tv's I told the girl to put one in the buggy right in front of the display. She actually asked me if the buggy was mine. I told her "no, but I don't think anyone is actually using it." So she smiled and deposted a television in the buggy and then I had to start weaving my way through the morass to check out the tv.

I was fortunate because no one seemed to be interested in the tv's but me. Everyone was going for the computers and the DVD players. I purchased my tv and went to find Sis. She was in the lay-a-way line but she didn't have everything she had been looking for so I set off to find the few elusive toys she didn't have.

We went home. She loved it and has never missed a sale since. I have never gone back@! and I won't!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My First Married Thanksgiving

We went to my parent's house and my new in-law's house. The part I really remember was at my in-laws home. I had a most excellent mother-in-law. We grew to be great friends over time but when I was first married, she had major issues with the fact that I refused to wait on my husband hand and foot. Don't get me wrong I didn't mind doing things for him, but what I did mind was someone thinking that I should cater to his every whim just because he was a man and I was a woman. WRONG!

She wanted no help in the kitchen. She had her own way of doing things. I respected that. So the whole family was gathered throughout the house doing whatever until dinner was ready. It was really very nice not to have to worry about helping to prepare the meal - I was used to helping my mom and it wouldn't have been a problem to help my mother-in-law if she had wanted the help.

It came time to eat and she called everyone to the kitchen. It was buffet style. I jumped right in and fixed myself a plate of food and as I was walking away she yelled, "Bobby, come and eat, Pam has your plate ready!"

I just looked at her and smiled and said, "this is my plate, I have no idea what he wants to eat!" I took my plate and when Bobby had his plate ready he joined me. Thankfully she didn't make an issue of it and neither did I so it was a great Thanksgiving. Bobby and I laughed together many times about it over the years and she was eventually able to have a little giggle about it herself once she started to come to my home to eat Thanksgiving dinner.

I remember how pleased she was that I was able to even cook such a meal. "I didn't know you had it in you, girl." she smiled at me. I did however let her fix whatever she wanted in my kitchen. The more the merrier was my philosophy and it still is.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Is this overkill?

Last night I had a young man come in to buy beer. I carded him. He was over 21 but he still had not changed his ID.

According to the law I cannot sell him the beer because he still has a red ID even though his birthday is plainly marked on his license and it is legal for him to use to drive or for anything else. If I would have sold him the beer and it had been a sting then I would have been fined $500 and fired and possibly the store would be fined as well.

I think this is overkill.

Now if I would call the police (and I have) and tell them I have a minor in the store with a fake ID, do you think they would respond? The answer is NO! I feel this is because they really don't care about underage drinking, all they want to do is collect fines from clerks who don't make enough money to pay them.

If they were truely serious about stopping underage drinking and driving while drunk they would sell the beer at the police station!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Another Fine Moment At Lee Terrace

I was taking the trash out last night and when I came back in the building I heard a strange noise. I stopped to listen because it was 11:30 at night and I shouldn't have been hearing anything.

It stopped and started a couple of times and then I figured out what it was. Somebody was trying to shake stuff out of the candy machine in the dining room. It took me a minute to figure out what it was because it sounded like a washing machine that has too much stuff in it.

I sneaked onto the elevator while I heard the noise because I didn't know who or what condition the person may have been in who was doing this. I went to my apartment and called the police. It took them their usual 6 minutes to respond which is pretty good time considering this was probably a minor offense on the grand scale of things.

I don't know if they found anybody because I was afraid to leave my room. I left a note on the machine this morning to let the candyman know what had happened and a note with the manager so he can review video footage. There was a lot of candy and chips missing from the machine this morning and it was setting askew when I went in the dining room to check on it.

Oh well, another fine moment at Lee Terrace.

"Your busybodies are in overdrive"

Well, no Thanksgiving dinner should go unscathed at Lee Terrace and yesterday did not disappoint. (that statement is dripping with sarcasm)

We had a wonderful dinner provided by the church at Lee Terrace yesterday. There were 4 tables overflowing with turkey, ham and all the trimmings you can think of. One small highlight I can think of now is when they were carrying all the food in and setting up the tables,all the work was being done by the ladies of the church. Until one person, Ricky, who is mildly retarded and a new resident at Lee Terrace, stood up and shouted, "come on people, we need some volunteers to get this stuff in here!" Thankfully several of the more able bodied men then got up and began to help out. It took someone who is supposedly incapacitated to get them moving.

As this was going on a man marched into the dining room and started to go off on the busybodies (Patsy, Linda and a few others who generally cause trouble) who were all grouped at one table. Of course the completely shocked, old ladies couldn't tolerate an outburst directed at then so they started to yell for somebody to call the police. Which was done. The man who was mad at them is a homeless man who had been sneaking in the building for the past week or so to escape the cold. He should not be there, but this was a Thanksgiving dinner and I believe that politics should be dropped for such occasions and that anyone should be provided with a meal. After all we are all beggars here at Lee Terrace, it is just that we are under government care while this man is not.

I made sure that someone was taking care of the people in wheelchairs and then I went to check on the man. The pastor, who has taken to watching me because he has noticed that when there is a problem I am generally part of the solution, asked me where I was going. He had not been in the room when the outburst had happened. I told him I was going to check on something and I didn't have time to talk but he was welcome to come with me. He followed me into the lobby where I saw policemen, the gaggle of busybodies and the homeless man grouped outside the building.

I pointed to them and I told him, "Your busybodies are in overdrive. That man is homeless and he had caused some problems in the building. He should not be here but this is a Thanksgiving dinner and I just wanted to make sure he got a plate before they ran him off."

"I'll see what I can do," Rick told me. So, I went back into the dining room and sat down to wait for the line to clear out a little. When I checked the line for progress a few minutes later the homeless man was there and the gaggle of busybodies were a little further back.

I waited awhile longer and then I got in line for my plate. I timed it perfectly because I got the last little bit of mashed potatoes. There was still plenty of other good food but in my book you need mashed potatoes and gravy to complete the Thanksgiving meal.

After dinner I went outside to enjoy the afternoon sun. Patsy and one of her friends then followed me out and immediately lit cigarettes while they laughed at me because they knew I would have to get up and move because I can't breathe. As they were making fun of me and I was walking off, I told them to "FUCK OFF!" Now they are horrified because I had the nerve to speak to them in such a manner.

Oh well, it was another typical day at Lee Terrace. I guess I should mention that the night before I had given out 10 gallons of free milk provided by Fruth pharmacy. Patsy and her smoker friend were at the front of the line thanking me for the milk.