The beanie boat

When we were kids we went on a lot of vacations. Anytime we were in Florida we had a friend with a place in Kissimmee which is near Disney World. The house was on a canal near a lake and one day while we were out playing we discovered the "beanie boat".

The beanie boat was little more than a raft. It was in the canal a short way from our house and me and Billy and Rhonda spent endless hours on that boat. (no I don't have any idea who owned it and from the state it was in I would say it was abandoned and we were lucky that it floated!) Nevertheless we floated up and down that canal like we were Tom Sawyer or somebody.

Our fun on the beanie boat stopped one day when Rhonda (she is the youngest by the way) was giving us a push into the canal because we were stuck in some reeds. She went from being knee deep in the water to straining to hold her head above water in one step! It was everything me and Billy could do to drag her onto the boat and thank God she didn't let loose of the boat before we grabbed her. We would have NEVER found her in that brackish water and as stupid as we were we would have probably been diving in to find her and drowned ourselves. Our many hours of fun ended in one quick second and once we paddled to shore we never got on the beanie boat again!

After having lived in Florida for a few years I know now that we were lucky not to have been eaten by alligators too! Thankfully we always looked out for each other (when we weren't trying to kill each other in a brotherly and sisterly fashion! hehe).

This is just one of the many things which we did that I look back on and wonder why we weren't killed when we were kids.

The rules of rural West Virginia

1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. (UNLESS YOU'RE A PLUMMER)

2. TURN YOUR CAP THE RIGHT WAY, YOUR HEAD ISN'T CROOKED.

3. LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT'S CALLED A 'DIRT ROAD.' NO MATTER HOW SLOW
YOU DRIVE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET DUST ON YOUR LEXUS. DRIVE IT OR GET OUT OF
THE WAY.

4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY'RE LIVE STEAKS. THAT'S WHY THEY SMELL FUNNY TO
YOU, GET OVER IT. DON'T LIKE IT? I-64 GOES EAST AND WEST, I-77& I-79 GO
NORTH AND SOUTH. PICK ONE.

5. SO YOU HAVE A $60,000 CAR. WE'RE IMPRESSED. WE HAVE $100,000 TRACTORS
AND HAY BALERS THAT ARE DRIVEN ONLY 3 WEEKS A YEAR.

6.. SO EVERY PERSON IN RURAL WEST VIRGINIA WAVES. WE THINK OF IT AS
BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.

7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE COMING
IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE IT
UP TO YOUR EAR AT THE TIME.

8. YEAH, WE EAT FRIED POTATOES, GRAVY, BEANS & CORNBREAD. WE FRY OUR FISH AFTER CATCHIN' 'EM'. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT'S AVAILABLE AT THE CORNER BAIT SHOP.

9. TO US, THE 'OPENER' REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON. IT'S A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY HELD ON THE MONDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.

10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THAT IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN, REGARDLESS OF AGE.

11. NO, THERE'S NO 'VEGETARIAN SPECIAL' ON THE MENU. ORDER COUNTRY HAM OR FRIED CHICKEN OR YOU CAN ORDER THE CHEF'S SALAD AND PICK OFF THE 2 POUNDS OF HAM & TURKEY.

12.THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS (INCLUDES FISH), VEGETABLES, AND BREADS. WE USE FOUR SPICES: SALT, PEPPER, HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH...WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FOLKS IN JERSEY CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! !!

13. YOU BRING 'COKE' INTO THE HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND SERVED
OVER ICE.

14. YOU BRING 'MARY JANE' INTO THE HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW HOW TO SHOOT, AND HAVE LONG HAIR.

15. COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL ARE AS IMPORTANT HERE AS PRO BALL, AND A LOT MORE FUN TO WATCH.

16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON'T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS---IT
SPOOKS THE FISH.

17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES, COMMUNITY COLLEGES, AND VO-TECHS. THEY COME OUT OF THERE WITH AN EDUCATION PLUS A LOVE OF GOD AND COUNTRY, AND THEY STILL WAVE AT EVERYBODY WHEN THEY COME HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND
MARINES.. SO DON'T MESS WITH US. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL GET WHIPPED BY THE
BEST.

19. TURN DOWN THAT CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP NOISE AIN'T
MUSIC, ANYWAY. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE THAN WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BOXERS. REFER BACK TO #1.

20. 4 INCHES ISN'T A BLIZZARD-IT'S A FLURRY. DRIVE IN IT LIKE YOU HAVE SOME
SENSE , AND DON'T TAKE ALL THE BREAD, MILK, AND TOILET PAPER FROM THE
GROCERY STORES. THIS AIN'T ALASKA !! WORST CASE... YOU MAY HAVE TO LIVE A
WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CROISSANTS. OUR PICKUPS WITH SNOW BLADES WILL HAVE YOU OUT THE NEXT DAY.



A TRUE WEST VIRGINIAN WILL PASS THESE ON!!!!!!!

---

Tradgedy at the Track

I have written about many things in the greyhound business - both good and bad. There was one particular day at the track that something happenned that was far worse than anything I ever saw in 13 years of racing. Unfortunately you get used to the broken legs and pulled muscles and the myriad other injuries that can end a greyhounds life and or career. You take care of them to the best of your ability and move on.

When you see a "wreck" in the first turn or watch a dog go careening across the track your stomach turns. One of your babies could be finished. Even worse is to listen to some buffoon in the crowd chortle with glee when it happens because "it is funny". You tell yourself they don't know any better and you go to tend to your dog.

One beautiful summer day I was watching a race. I didn't have a dog in it. The rabbit was about 30 yards from the finish line when there was a power failure. The power was off for just a second before the emergency generator kicked in. That one second was all it took to slow the rabbit down enough for the three dogs in the lead to catch it. The lure operator tried to speed it back up but there was nothing he could do. The greyhounds were running full speed to "get the bunny" and nothing else was on their minds.

I watched as the dogs slammed into the lure and one of them actually got caught on it and went spinning around it over and over. (the lure was probably going around 40 miles an hour or so) He was flung across the track where he landed limply on the ground. I watched my friend, Bobby, wail as he flew over the fence to the track to try to help his dog. There was no help for it. The other 2 dogs were flopping around like I had never seen before as the rest of the field ran over them. Miraculously none of the other 5 dogs were hurt.

We knew it was bad and we all ran to get the dogs because we knew the leadouts were not capable of handling this kind of problem. Even the track vet ran out which hardly ever happenned. They carried the dogs to the vet's office and immediately put one down. The other was rushed to the animal hospital. It survived but it never raced again.

My friend, Bobby, was inconsolable, just as I would have been. He had started racing a few months after I did and we kind of looked out for each other. That accident was so bad that they did not show the race replay. I never saw that happen either before or since.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

I have only killed one snake in my life.

I pulled up to my house one day to find one of my cats playing with one. I wanted the cat to learn to if he saw them, so I decided to demonstrate that it needed to die. (it was next to my house which is why I got the cats to begin with)

I took a hoe and I tried to wack it's head off. It didn't work the first time. I remember that snake looking at me as if to say, "why are you doing this to me? I haven't done anything to you."

Unfortunately I had to finish what I started because the snake was mortally wounded and would have just suffered. I never forgot that look in it's eye. I saw so many snakes on that 100 acres that I'm not scared of them anymore anyway. Every snake that I saw was running away from me except for one. The way he was ping,ping, pinging on the side of my lawnmower, I knew he would have killed me if he has been biting the side of my leg. (which was about a foot away from where he was trying to bite)

I decided to get all those cats (5 plus assorted kittens) because about a week after I moved in the place I found a 3 foot long shedded snakeskin in the middle of my kitchen floor. I never did find the snake. I should have known there would be a problem with snakes because when I moved into the house I thought there would be a problem with mice. The house had been empty for awhile and the grass around the house was about 3 foot tall. I NEVER did see a mouse. The reason I didn't see a mouse was because the snakes were eating them all!

I never saw a snake around the house again after I got the cats either.