Thursday, June 28, 2012

On Thong Bikinis

When I lived in West Palm they were having a big debate about making thong bikinis illegal. This was when the hotdog girls were selling hotdogs on the corner wearing nothing but thongs and pasties . (they may still be doing it, I have been gone for years now!)

Anyway I told my friend Carolyn that we could settle the debate in 5 minutes. "Let's go out and put on a thong and walk down the block! Thongs will be illegal before we get to the end of the street!

Of course we didn't do it and they are still legal! There is more than one way to do the world a favor, my public display of skin could be just the ticket.

One day Bobby and I were driving along and we came upon Gloria, the most famous of the thong clad hot dog ladies. She was even more beautiful in person than she was on tv. I told Bobby to pull on over and get me a hot dog. I could see he was dying inside to do so!

The last thing I told him when he got out of the car was to not forget the mustard. Never mind the fact that $4 for a hot dog with no chili should be a criminal offense to begin with!

He walked over to stand in line with the other gawking, salivating "gentlemen". I watched as he took his turn at the front of the line and stammered out his order for one hot dog. I watched as he made his way back to the car beaming with pride at his purchase. You would have thought someone had given him the finest steak dinner imaginable for free by looking at his beaming face.

He handed me my hot dog and started the car. Just to be a bitch I told him, " I think I saw a pimple on her butt."

He said, "trust me, that woman has no flaws anywhere!"

Then there was the time I rented off an old man who used to work in the electric business. He still had a bucket truck. Just for kicks he would load up the guys working for him on their lunch hour. He would raise his bucket up as high as it would go and they would ride round and round the nudist colony down the road.


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