One Time I Rented a House From a Lady Who Didn't Even Own It!

How could that be you ask? Well I'll tell you. I would never have imagined this scenario in a million years.

I was looking for a suitable piece of property to be my greyhound farm after I moved back to WV from Fla. I saw an ad in the paper and I went to look at the place. It was perfect except for the fact that it was too far from the track, so I decided NOT to rent it. Afterwards I regretted my decision and I tried to rent it, but I was too late - it had already been rented. A few months later I saw an ad for the same place again, so I called the lady up and rented it on the spot!

She put new linoleum in the entrance hall and fixed the stove as soon as I moved in. I gave her the traditional first months rent and deposit. She did not require the last months rent which of course thrilled me to death. I proceeded to build a pen which was connected to an existing out building for my kennel. Bobby brought our dogs up from Florida and I traded my car for his truck and we were in business.

About a week later, she came to my house and told me she was moving and gave me an address to send my rent to. She had been living on the other house on the property and I didn't think twice about her move. I just thought it was something she needed to do.

The next day my neighbor, Mr. Wilkerson, called me and informed me that there was a group of policeman down by the gate and they wanted in. He had a key but he wanted to let me know, I told him to go ahead and open the gate and let them in. I was baffled as to why they were there. They stopped at my house and asked me if I was my landlady (I can't remember her name anymore) and I told them she lived in the other house on the property but she had moved out the day before with a huge U Haul truck. It turns out they were going to arrest her for growing marijuana on the place. I gave them the address she had given me, but they failed to run her down.

The next day Mr. Wilkerson came by with a note for me to call a well known doctor in the area. When I asked him, "why?", he informed me that the doctor was the owner of the property and wanted to know why I was living there without his permission. When I told Mr. Wilkerson that I thought "the woman" was the owner of the property, he laughed out loud while assurring me that she was in no way the owner - she had just been renting the other house on the land.

I met with the doctor the next day. He understood that I had been scammed just as he was. He was surprised to learn that she had also rented the house out to someone before me. He said since I was in a predicament that he would allow me to stay with my dogs but he didn't want me to bring anymore on the property. I told him that was nice but it wouldn't do me any good because I intended to breed them.

So I moved off the property. Bobby came back from Florida and took the dogs and we traded vehicles again. I went to the police about the scam but the magistrate told me all that could be done was to take her to small claims court for the money I had invested in setting up the farm - which I did. Then while I was in court the magistrate informs me that I should have filed fraud charges (the usual wishy washy court thing). I was awarded my damages but it did me no good because by then the woman had moved again.

I was just screwed - royally!

WV Rules To Live By

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked. 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 60 goes east and west, I-79, RT. 19 goes north and south. Pick one. 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 6. So every person in West Virginia waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey. 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish. 17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays. 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best. 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1. 20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day. A true West Virginian will send this on to others. :)

A Lightning Storm

One time when I had my puppy farm there was a lightning storm. I looked out into the field to see all my greyhound puppies just standing at the gate looking at the house instead of doing the perfectly logical thing and going to the barn. (they didn't like the barn because it was on the opposite end of the field and they wanted to watch us come and go)

So me in all my stupidity went out into the field and walked across it with all my 8 month old pups around me and lightning striking all around us. I don't mean just one lightning strike. I mean probably around 50 of them - some no more than 10 feet away. I just cringed and slowly walked to the barn because I didn't want my pups to stand out in the rain.

Unfortunately my stupidity didn't end there.

I needed to go to work. So, after a short amount of time, I walked all the way back to my trailer in the storm with the lightning striking all around me. To add insult to injury, every single one of those pups followed me back! They stood out in the rain until I left for work. I don't know how long they were out in the storm after that.

The Day My World Came Crashing Down

I took a couple of friends out to my farm to just look around one day. We were standing on the porch which encircled the trailer. I had just told the one guy to not go any further because it wasn't safe. So, what does he do? He goes further. (the porch was the only thing we didn't remodel on that trailer)

I was talking to the other guy when we heard a loud CRRAA++CK! I looked over to see a fearful look on the first guys face (sorry I can't remember their names) and watch him fall through the porch! Then the whole section he was standing on started to crash in over top of him along with a couple of my dogs!

I ran to the edge to check on him. BIG MISTAKE! It starts to cave in as well. My friend, the rest of my dogs and I go crashing to the ground with the rest of the porch falling like dominoes! It was about an 8 to 10 foot drop. Fortunately I landed on my ass which has always had plenty of padding! I was even still holding a bottle of Gatorade that I had been drinking - didn't spill a drop!

We sat there a second or two taking stock of ourselves and then we all busted out laughing. Fortunately nobody was hurt. My dogs were all crowding around me trying to get comforted all at once, but we were all fine. I made sure my friends were OK and then we left for the track. End of story.

WRONG! The next morning I couldn't get out of bed. Every move caused excruciating pain. I dragged myself to the ER and got checked out. I had to have physical therapy for 2 months and for most of that I couldn't work. (greyhound training is a very physical job) I couldn't even get a job walking dogs at the track which is what everybody who recuperates does because it is sooo easy.

After we sent the pups away, we moved closer to the track. When you are working 18 hour days, it pays to stay as close to the track as possible to eliminate travel time.

When we were kids...

we used to ask for a nickle everytime we went to the store. A nickel would buy you some good candy back then. You could get 5 pieces of bubble gum or 5 pieces of penny candy. It would also buy you smaller candy bars like a Reese Cup or Mallo Cup and the greatest candy of all ... those Jolly Rancher sticks! I loved those things. Then they came out with Dippers (the candy stick you dip in Kool-Aid). Also I loved to compose entries for the Razzle's contest although I never sent one off because my mom said the 6 cent stamp was too much to waste.

We went to the store a lot. Our green house (the one we lived in from the 1st. to the 5th. grade) was about a city block away from the store. Then we moved into our house (my parents built it in 1972). It was only 2 doors down from the store. The only thing between us and candy was the 7th. Day Adventist Church next door. We made several trips a day to the store. A couple times to get my dad's Lucky Strikes (oh yes, kids could buy cigarettes back then - surely you wouldn't expect an adult to go all the way to the store just for a pack of cigs!) and then the endless trips to get whatever we needed from the store for my mom. If we would have been smart (and we weren't) we could have saved alot of money up and got good stuff, but I preferred instant gratification back then just the same as I do now.

We waited for the bus at that store, playing chase everyday until the bus came. We hunted for pop bottles in the ditch next to the store so we could get the nickel for turning them in. We thought nothing of wading barefooted through that sea of broken glass with the bees buzzing everywhere to get the filthy pop bottle! It was worth it for that nickle! One of the greatest days ever was the day we collected enough money for each of us to get one of those new 2 liter pops just for ourselves. (I think they were 29 cents or something like that) That was when the government was telling us that they were going to phase in the metric system whether we wanted it or not because that is what the rest of the world was doing. (sounds like now, huh?)

I got my first job at that store. I was 14. I would get up at 6 a.m. twice a week and sweep all the trash and gravel off the parking lot. I would get 2 or 3 dollars for the 2 hours it took me to do it. If I missed even a few gravels I would have to do it again or I wouldn't get paid.

Then, of course, later on - I robbed it. But that's another story.

Know any good euphemisms?

"Daddy, I jumped off the roof!!"

My stepdaughter, Katie, raced through the house screaming those words, which of course sent fear through our hearts. We jumped up running to her with a thousand thoughts racing through our minds.

1. How could she jump off the second floor and not be splattered on the ground!

2. Is she Ok!

3. Why is she not !

4. What possessed her to do such a thing!

I had all these thoughts and more all at the same time. When I saw her I couldn't figure out why she wasn't hurt! Here she was standing before me and babbling on and I was looking to see what was broken and what wasn't. Finally I said, "What in the world is wrong with you."

She said, "Pam, I got my period!" She was thrilled to . Her twin sister had gotten hers first and she had been desperate to get hers. (a mind set I could never understand in a million years myself - why in the world would anybody WANT a period?)

"Oh my God! I thought you were really hurt," I said. "Why did you come screaming through here hollering, I jumped off the roof!?"

She said, "That's what grandma calls it. The first time you get your period it's called, jumping off the roof".

That was a new one on me. I had never heard it before or since. Then she had to call everybody and let them know.

Interesting Little Tidbit

Today I went to visit my mom. Here is what she told me about her childhood.

She was raised on a farm in Sarah Ann, West Virginia. I already knew that. Here's what I didn't know. She mentioned her grandma, Betty Hatfield. I asked her who's mom it was because she has always told me that she didn't know who her grandparents were. It turns out that Betty Hatfield was not her actual grandmother. Betty Hatfield was a little, old, neighbor lady who lived on the farm next door.

She was too old to be left alone so that on Saturdays when her daughter Ocie Browning needed to go to the store she would call my Granny and ask if my mom (she was between 10 and 14 years old at the time) could come over and stay with her mom, Betty. Mommy loved Betty and would run the whole way to her house so they could spend the afternoon together. When Betty asked her, "Who's your grandma?" Mommy told her she didn't have a grandma. Betty told her, "Yes, you do. I'm your grandma."

Betty Hatfield was Devil Anse Hatfield's daughter. Devil Anse Hatfield was the leader of the Hatfield clan in the Hatfield and McCoy feud. Betty would tell mommy, " You musn't ever let anybody say anything bad about my daddy." (meaning Devil Anse) One day a show came on the television about the feud and Betty made her turn it off until the show was over. She wasn't mean about it, she just didn't want to hear anybody say anything bad about her daddy - which is understandable.

So that is the story of my mommy's grandma.