Lost in the Woods

When I was a senior in high school, my friend Jessica and I decided to go hiking at our local park after school one day. The trails are clearly marked so we didn't see a problem. We met after school and started up the "backbone trail", which just happens to be the longest and most backbreaking (hence the name) trail in the park.

We were actually doing fine. It was hard, but we climbed up the mountain and over logs and whatever obstacles were in our way. We even saw a whole herd of deer running through the valley. Unfortunately it got dark - something we didn't factor in.

When dusk fell we realized we should get back. The problem was we didn't know which way was shorter - to finish the trail or to go back. We knew to go back that it would take at least an hour, so we decided to finish the trail. WRONG! It finally got so dark that we couldn't see the path in front of us - or behind us for that matter.

To make matters worse Jessica started whining and crying. So I had to take charge and lead the way out. We had to turn around and she kept saying she couldn't see the trail and we were going to die. I couldn't see it either but I wasn't about to let her know that. I kept telling her that I had really good eyesight and I could see just fine! She was panicked enough to believe me but that didn't shut her up. The whole way back down the path (and I really had no idea if we were on the path or not until we came to a massive tree that we had climbed over earlier) she was squalling like a two year old. I just kept walking and talking the whole way because I knew if I let her know that I didn't know what to do then she would be uncontrollable.

Finally we came out next to the ranger's cabin. We had to walk about 1/2 mile back to the car. It was dark but the road was paved, so it was alright. When we got back to the car the ranger had locked the gate right next to it - so we had to walk the 1/2 mile BACK to the ranger's house. We got him to go unlock the gate, but he made us walk back to it again. We finally made it back home and collapsed in our beds.

What sucks is that we were lost in the woods and the ranger locked our car in the park without making any effort to find us. We could have died. Oh well, we didn't.

My $83.00 Keyring

First of all why on earth do I need or even have a keyring that cost me $83.00? Because I am an idiot that's why. I keep it as a reminder not to do anything so stupid ever again.

I dearly love it - but not to the tune of $83.00. It is one of those Lavella Link keyrings which were more commonly sold as charm bracelets and were mega popular a couple of years ago. We sold them at Fruth for $2.95 per link. The keyring attachment cost an extra $5.00.

Now the truth. The value of my keyring is $83.00. I actually paid around $40.00 but that is still too much money. Most of my purchases were made with my megaChristmas discount of 40% off. I bought at least $10.00 worth when they discontinued them and sold them for 15 cents apiece. So now I have 3 bracelets and the keyring. Occasionally I'll hook all the bracelets together and make a nifty headband out of them. However my hair gets tangled in the links and it is a nightmare to take it off with out losing a substantial portion of my long tresses, so I rarely do that little trick.

Now Fruth is carrying these little rows of beads. They are knockoffs of "Troll beads" which are supremely popular right now. Each bead is $5.00 with some costing as much as $8.00 apiece. Everytime I get the urge to fondle one of those lovely little beads I just pull my keyring out and smile at it. Do I want to get addicted to those little purties like I did the links? I think not. I haven't bought one yet. Hopefully I have learned my lesson.

In Poor Taste

this happened a few years ago I have a regular customer and and a good friend named Clifton. He is black and extremely loud and objectionable. But so am I (objectionable that is). The day before MLK day he came into the store being his usual self and as usual customers were cringing all around him. While I was waiting on the other customers, Cliffy (as I affectionately call him) kept asking me if we were going to be closed for MLK day. I ignored him which is not how I usually treat him but I was waiting on other customers. When I finished with my other customers and Cliffy has forgotten about me I hollered at him and said, "Hey Cliffy, of course we are open tomorrow because everybody knows that it's not a real holiday anyway." For the first time in our years long relationship Clifton was speechless. He started to sputter. I couldn't contain myself any longer and burst out laughing. The expression on his face was priceless. He knew I had him. Cliffy has never been speechless in all the years I have known him but he was then. Unfortunately I looked up to see standing in front of me a young, African-American male whom I had never seen before. He was obviously enraged and rightly so. Walking up behind him was a middle aged black lady who said, "I can't believe she just said that!" I knew I was in deep trouble and the silence around me was palpable. The next thing I knew Cliffy was laughing uproariously! He said, "I can always count on you to say the craziest things! That was a good one!" This broke the ice. Everybody started laughing. It was then obvious to the other customers that I was playing a joke on a friend. Needless to say I learned my lesson. Clifton KNEW I was joking but the mistake I made was not making sure the room was empty of strangers before I said it. I learned my lesson.

I Love a Parade

When I was in high school my friends and I decided to build our own float for the homecoming parade instead of helping one of the clubs. We stayed up all night for about a week making those paper flowers out of tissues and covering the top of a Limosine with them. It looked pretty cool and we made signs for the side that said " A Touch of Class".

We took a vote and I won. I got to be the "Wildcat" who rode on top throwing candy to all the kids. Everybody else rode inside the limo during the parade. (there were 13 of us) We had to seal everbody in the limo at my house and then drive to the parade. (so the float would look good, of course) I rode on top of the limosine all the way from my house to Logan (about 5 miles).

Dummy me decided to play a joke on everybody. When we rounded a very sharp curve in West Logan, Delana was driving about 15 mph, I banged on the roof loud once and then a couple of little thumps and screamed like I fell off the top. She slammed on the brakes and I almost really DID fall off! Thankfully I held on.

We had a great time in that parade. The kids loved the candy and my friends loved riding in the limo and I loved riding on top. It was a great day!

The Best School Year Ever!!!

When I was in the 9th. grade we had a massive snowstorm that kept us out of school for most of January and February. It started off as a typical school year, just going to school day after day. It had been years since we had a snow day off from school. When it came time to go back to school after Christmas break the skies opened up and the most we went to school for the next 2 months was 2 days a week. Usually it was only one day a week. This was back in the days when they didn't make you make up the days at the end of the year or have 2 hour delays or any of that pain in the ass stuff.

Then in early March I was waiting for the bus and no one else was there. This was unusual. A passing car stopped and told me that the wall had fallen at Central and school was cancelled. I went home to listen to the radio and sure enough the retaining wall had fallen at our junior high school. Central Junior High School was perched up on the side of the mountain overlooking Logan, West Virginia. It was built behind a massive retaining wall that was easily 50 or 60 feet high. We were out of school for a week while they decided what to do with us. There was no way the wall could be repaired before the school year was over.

They decided to send us to East Junior High School - our arch rivals. To minimize the possibilities of fights we started school an hour after the East kids and we went home an hour earlier than they did. We also had staggered lunch hours so that we didn't take lunch at the same time. I think some of the teachers were more traumatized by the move than we were and we learned quickly how to take advantage of the situation. We were particularly thrilled when Mrs. Triolo and Mrs. Mendez got into a fist fight because Mrs. Triolo called Mrs. Mendez a dike! Boy, was that a story!

Some teachers padded our grades, saying we were traumatized and upping them a whole letter. (Not that it mattered to me. I was an "A,B" student anyway so that didn't help me much.) We got every concession that a teacher could possibly give a student. Some didn't even give tests for a whole month so that we could adjust to the situation.

Then in May there was a massive flood. There was about 6 feet of water in East Junior High School. It took a week for the river to subside and then another week for them to get the school cleaned up so that we could go back again.

By then there was about 2 weeks to go and school was out. I started High School the next year so I am not sure but I think that it took several years to fix the wall and the kids at Central continued to go to East well into the next school year.

I Almost Drowned Once

I was 5 years old and I went out with my dad to catch crawdads. We were at Bluestone Lake. The last thing my mom told me before we left was not to get my pajamas wet which wasn't a problem since we were wading. I followed my dad holding a plastic bowl and he had a net that he was catching crawdads in. It's process is called 'seining crawdads'. When he would catch them he would put them in my bowl. We were going to use them to go fishing.

We were on our way back to the camp and we were almost at the bank and the next thing I know I was under water. I remember I was not scared, I was not even aware that I was in any danger. I remember watching the crawdads float around me as they left the bowl I was carrying. I was just floating underneath the water looking around. I did not know how to swim and I didn't even realize that I needed to swim!

The next thing I know my dad is carrying me to the bank and my mom was screaming and going crazy and she grabbed me and started hugging me and checking me over. I started to cry because thought I was in trouble because I got my pajamas wet! I had no idea what had just happened to me. It turned out that she was the one who saw me go under. My dad had been leading the way because he was taking me around the deeper pools of water. My mom said I just took one wrong step and went under. My dad turned to me when my mom started to scream. He had to reach down in the water and he pulled me out by my footbecause I was upside down. I was very lucky!

We never went back to Bluestone Lake again. I have heard that alot of people have drowned in that area. After that we were never allowed near water without a life jacket - except for supervised swimming pools of course.

Wide Track Pontiac

The first time I went to my ex husbands parents house, we were leaving. I heard his dad say, "Bobby, you brought home a wide track pontiac!"