Things Get Better When You Least Expect It

After all the mess I made of my life when I was 19 I gave up on meeting a good man. The very next day I met Bobby Jeffrey, my ex-husband.

I went to the Star Trek movie "The Search for Spock". I went by myself because I knew I would want to sit through it twice and none of my friends would do that. After the first movie I heard a loud crash behind me. Some guy had sat in a seat and it broke sending him crashing to the floor.

A few minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. A man's voice said, "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" I thought to myself, "surely he could have thought of something more original than that to say." I turned around and to my surprise I HAD seen him before.

I said "hey, you're the guy from the bridge!"

He said, "So, that's where I've seen you, I knew that I had." We started talking.

Here is a brief history of the "guy from the bridge". He was a flagman who gave out roses and wore funny hats. One day I had to walk across the bridge and he asked me "if I wasn't afraid I would get raped or something." I coldly informed him that I could take care of myself. Later that week I was in another part of town and some guy went by me in a van whooping and hollering and hanging out of the passenger side window. It was him. We ran into each other another time as well. I just seemed like fate kept putting us together.

After the movie ended he asked me if he could take me to dinner. He used the classic line, "I'll buy you a steak or anything you want." I told him steak was fine but I would rather have a hotdog. He replied that he was not a cheapskate. Again I told him I would just as soon have a hotdog and we ended up at my favorite hotdog place "Mecca Drive-in".

Then he took me home and he asked if he could see me again. I said "yes" and after a polite kiss I went inside.

The next day at 2pm (the appointed time) he wasn't there. At 5 minutes after 2, I left and went to a friends house. About 15 minutes later my mom called and in a singsong voice said to me, "Bobby's he'ere." (you know the voice- the one for a boyfriend she entirely approved of)

I told her I would be right there. He was late because he had been getting us a roast chicken and a bottle of wine to take on our picnic.

Lee Terrace Videos

I just posted a series of videos that I did last spring showing Lee Terrace. They are in my video section. Lee Terrace is the government housing that I live in. It is for low income disabled and senior citizens.

I never made the video of my own apartment. You know how it is, I kept waiting until I had it spic and span which never happens although they do cleanliness inspections twice a year to make sure the apartments are clean. Now my video camera is broken so I guess I'll never get that last video made.

lesson learned: strike while the iron is hot. don't wait for the perfect moment - it will probably never happen.

and then there was the time...

...I sprained both my ankles when I jumped off the bridge running from the police.

I had begged, borrowed and stolen enough money to get Oscar out of jail after the robbery. We were walking to his parent's house because I had been kicked out of my parent's house again and I no longer had a car to drive since I had driven the getaway car like a dumbass. The police stopped us, yet again, as small town police do when they get your number. We weren't doing anything wrong but at this point they were breathing down our necks all the time so we wouldn't cause any more trouble.

They said they were arresting Oscar because he had broken the window down at The Banner (the local newspaper). He didn't but who was going to believe our denials at this point. The next thing I knew Oscar took off running. Then James took off. In the heat of the moment, I ran too. We scattered in three directions and I was running across the bridge going into Logan. This bridge is about 40 yards long. I knew I had to beat the police car across the bridge or I would get caught.

As the car raced past me to the end of the bridge and stopped. I got to the point where I was over the bank but not over the river. I dove over the rail into the steep, sandy embankment. As I skidded down the sand and landed at the bottom of the gully I stood and I could barely walk. I knew I had to hide (which was stupid because they hadn't been after me to begin with) so I climbed into the girders under the bridge.

Then I used one of my old hide and seek tricks. People could always find me because of my shiney, blonde hair. I took my coat and turned it inside out. It was night and the inside of the coat was black. I covered my hair and my face and upper body with the black coat. I had now blended in with the black of the night and the dark girders under the bridge.

I watched the police as they hunted for me on the riverbank. I stayed in place for hours as they came back several times to find me. Later when I saw it was safe I climbed down. I made my way around the steep mountains around my hometown wondering where I was going to stay on a cold, December night.

I ended up curling up around a softball sized opening to an old mine shaft that I knew about. There was warm air whizzing out of that opening and I woke up covered in about a quarter inch of snow.

It was then it finally dawned on me that I may need to change the course my life was taking. I spent a couple more days hiding from the police but I turned myself in 3 days later because I knew that I needed to either leave town and start over or give up and get on with my life.

lesson learned.

I jumped out of my car

Oscar and James and I had been drinking. I was very drunk. Oscar was driving and James was in the back seat. I was in the passenger seat.

We were on an old railroad access road just joyriding basically. I don't remember why I got mad (I was drunk) but I told Oscar to stop the car. He didn't. When he kept going I decided that nobody was going to make me stay in a car that I didn't want to stay in and I told him again to let me out.

When he didn't stop this time I opened my car door. I remember thinking that I was going to need to roll when I hit the ground or I would get hurt. Then I jumped out of the car. I rolled. I lay on the ground suffering in all my pain as Oscar and James ran back from the car to check on me.

At first I thought I survived the jump unscathed. As I walked back to the car I put my hand on the back of my head and when I looked at it, it was covered in blood. I had a gash on the back of my noggin. I am good with other people's medical emergencies but I don't do well at the sight of my own blood. I started to wail.

Oscar walloped me. I stood there in shock. Unable to believe that he had actually hit me and thinking, "well, that is how they calm people down in cowboy movies." He tried to take me to the hospital but I refused to go. I did allow him to take me to his mom's house and she cleaned my wound.

The next day when I sobered up I did go to the hospital. Later when my parents found out about it they insisted that Oscar pushed me out of the car. That was not the case. I was a stupid, crazy drunk and I jumped out of my own freewill.

July 1981 (part 1)

the following 3 blogs are a series I did previously about my chaotic life when I was 19 years old...oh, brother....

One day I was playing chess with my brother and I beat him. This was a once in a lifetime occurrance and since he was a chessmaster, he was furious. So furious, in fact, that he threatened to kill me. This was not the usual brother, sister kind of threat. I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice that he was serious. I went to my mom.

My mom went to my dad. He exploded. He said I was only trying to cause trouble in the house and he kicked me out! It was one of the ugliest situations that I have ever been in during my life and I am not going into detail about it. Needless to say my life changed overnight.

I went from being a princess to supporting myself with a job at Burger Chef (I had worked there for a summer before college). I got an apartment and I was doing fine. I went to sign up for college and I found out that I couldn't get financial aid because my parents made too much money - even though I didn't live with them anymore. I was going to have to live on my own for a year before I could get the financial aid I needed.

Oscar (part 2)

After getting kicked out, I started to hang out with the lowlifes around town (a rebellion thing, I suppose). Mostly I was trying to prove that these people were as good as anybody else was. I was raised a little rich girl and I sincerely believed that all men are created equal even though none of my friends did.

Anyway I was getting drunk every night and I discovered that I could drink pretty much anybody under the table - male or female - with no nasty hangover the next day. It was fun. I didn't do any kind of drugs but I did drink like a fish!

I met Oscar. He was about the lowest form of life around and I knew that being with him would piss my parents all to hell. It did. Now my mom wasn't speaking to me either. One night I did decide to break up with him but the police arrested him on some false charges. I could not let him go to jail for something he didn't do and in the process of fighting the charges (which were dropped) I fell in love with him.

I decided to move to Huntington (with Oscar) so that I could set up a place and work toward going to Marshall University the next year. Taking Oscar was a big mistake. I did not know that there were men in the world who didn't want to work and just wanted to sit on welfare and boss their women around. I learned that there were. I was young and stupid and in love though and so none of that mattered.

Quitting my job and moving to Huntington was a large mistake also because at that time, West Virginia had an almost 30% unemployment rate. I could not find a job. Finally I ran out of money. I had no food. I had no gas. I had a worthless man who would not work.

I drove to Logan and sneaked into my parents house one night. I knew there was a drawer with several hundred pennies and I was taking it when my mom came downstairs and caught me. She kicked me out of the house and told me I had no business taking their money because I didn't live there anymore. Which was absolutely true. I still needed to figure out how to get some food and gas though. That's when I had the big idea.

November 1981 (part 3)

After my mom ran me off, I thought to myself, well there is one thing that I know Oscar can do. He was always bragging that he could break into anything. He had not done so though because I wouldn't let him and he was trying to straighten up for me. I knew how to get into the store next door to our house and I dared him to do it. My intention was to pay later for anything that I took (I had done it a million times before, just never while the store was closed though) It seemed perfectly logical to me at the time.

We made three trips into the store. While Oscar and James were running around whooping and hollering, I was taking things like bologna and bread and milk and chicken backs and pinto beans - things that I knew I could pay for. What I didn't realize was that they were tearing the store all to hell. They were stealing cigarettes and beer and knives and lighters and the cash box. I know I was stupid, but again I was young and dumb and it was all my bright idea.

When we were pulling out from the store a policeman saw us pull out. He didn't think anything about it because he knew my parents lived there. Later that morning, Bob (store owner and family friend) went in early and found his store torn all to hell. He, of course, called the police. All together we did about $3,000 worth of damage to his store that night. The police knew who had done it because they had seen me pulling out. An open and close case. I did not bother to even try to deny it. We still had the merchandise in the car when I was pulled over.

When Bob found out that I was involved he tried to not press charges. The police wouldn't allow it. They pressed charges. They wanted to send Oscar and James off really bad and they weren't going to lose this chance to do it. They couldn't let me go and prosecute them (which would have been wrong anyway because it was my idea afterall). I was arrested.

I spent 3 days in jail because I wouldn't call my parents to bail me out. Oscar and James both went to prison for a year and a half. I had to do 20 hours of community service for 2 years unless I found a job. After I had been at PRIDE for 6 months (the community action agency) they hired me for 3 days a week and I worked 16 hours a week for free until the 2 years was up. By the time I quit the job to go to beauty school, I was Coordinator of the Child Care Food Program.

I also paid partial restitution to Bob.