Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I missed an important anniversary

I missed an important anniversary this month. That's a good thing too. This was the 4 year anniversary of my gift of life when I found out my heart was screwed up. I actually noted it a couple of days late but decided that I was just going to silently let it pass because I've been doing so well. If things go like they said I have a year left to go. I hope to prove them wrong though.

The doing well part is over for now. I have been pushing myself a little further and further these past couple of months. I hit a wall last Friday. What caused me to hit the wall was the betrayal of someone I considered a friend. I found out I was wrong Friday. He wasn't happy to just let things go, he had to crush me emotionally into the ground. When I begged him to leave me alone he just went on and on. He even followed me home so I couldn't get away. His tirade lasted 2 hours. In the old days I would have just told him where to go and walked off, but I don't have that luxury any longer.

I don't process stress normally because of my heart and the result of all that venom was a supreme migraine headache. I wasn't able to get to the doctor because it was the weekend and then he couldn't see me until today to give me the medication that I needed. It was 4 days of pure misery and torture. I couldn't watch tv because of the noise and I sat in darkness because the light was so painful to me.

He now blames what was said on being drunk but I don't really care what the reason was. I know I was a good friend who didn't deserve the treatment that I received. He seems genuinely sorry but that doesn't matter either. I'm not an idiot. Once someone does you that way they will continue to do so. I have no problem moving on. I've kicked better men than him to the curb for a whole lot less. He knew all about my health situation (actually better than anyone I know) so there is no excuse for his actions.

Anyway I have the medicine I need. I have to build my body up again. I've done it before and I'll do it again. Why not? I have nothing better to do.

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