Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I Came a Hair of Beating Him with the Baby Jesus

One time I was coming home from visiting my mom in Logan. It was a long day and I was worn out. I was just getting out of my truck which I had to park in the street in front of my apartment when a man walked up asking for money. I told him I didn't have any.

He persisted to tell me he needed it for cab fare to the hospital to see a sick friend and that he was hungry. I manuevered my way to my sidewalk which gave me an upward advantage to him but I couldn't go on to my house without turning my back to him which I wasn't about to do. I repeated I didn't have any money but I did have a hotdog and pepsi in my hand which when he told me he was hungry I offerred to give it to him.

He declined. Most politely I might add. But he continued to thank me and the further I backed toward my porch the more he manuevered closer to me. Finally he told me he wanted to thank me for being so sweet and he stretched out his arms and actually moved to hug me! It was at this point I started to loudly and forcefully tell him to step away from me with my palms held upwards to halt him. He started to back away and repeatedly apologize as he looked around to see if any of my neighbors could hear which was exactly what I wanted to happen because I had good neighbors.

At this point I was also standing beside my lighted nativity set. It was not one of those plastic ones. It was one of those lighted rope light ones that is mounted on a heavy iron frame. He did not know it but I was a hair of ripping the baby Jesus out of the ground and whacking him over the head with it. I guarantee you that the Christ Child would have done some heavy duty damage to the man by the time I got done with him! The irony of it all doesn't escape me either.

As I continued backing toward my porch once he was out of arms length and hightailing down the sidewalk I opened my door as fast as I could and locked it behind me. I didn't have a phone so I couldn't call the police but I did have a most excellent neighbor in the apartment behind me and we had prearranged with each other that if there was trouble to bang on the wall and we would come running.

I banged on his wall and yelled to him that I needed help and he yelled that he would be right over. I went to look out my window and that is when I saw the man who had accosted me going up the sidewalk behind my house! Then I was really scared because I thought he was trying to figure out how to get to me and I knew he would meet my neighbor coming around the house to check on me.

I waited by my door and my neighbor knocked in minutes. I made him identify himself because I couldn't see who was on the other side of the door. When I opened the door I almost flipped out of my mind! Standing beside my neighbor was the man who had just created the whole problem.

I turned 40 shades of red as I started to squall and my neighbor immediately got between us and told me to tell him what happened. I did. The man stood beside him denying everything of course. When I finished my neighbor told me not to worry that he would handle everything and told me to go back in the house until he came back for me.

When he came back he told me that he knew the man from barbor school. (he was in school which is why he was living in Charleston at the time) He told me that the guy was a trouble maker at school and they were threatening to kick him out. He said he knew from my reaction when I saw the guy that the guy was lying. He said he used to be an MP in the military so he had dealt with these kinds of situations in the past.

He said he met the guy coming up the sidewalk to his apartment. The guy told him he was coming to visit him but my neighbor told him he would have to wait while he checked on me. Little did he know that he was bringing the problem right to my front door! He apologized. He figured that the guy was going to hide in his apartment pretending to visit because he thought I had called the police on him. He told him to never come back and to never bother me again or he would report him to the police himself.

I never saw the man again. My neighbor and I had a strong friendship until he finished school and moved back home. I should mention that he also installed a sideview mirror on my truck for free when I accidentally knocked it off one time. The only thing he took as payment was a homemade lasagna which I was happy to make.

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