Friday, June 22, 2012

The Last Time I Drove Drunk

Yes, I was young and dumb! Now on with the story.

I went to see Chip N Dales, a male strip show. I was supposed to go with a bunch of girlfriends but they all canceled. I went anyway by myself. I took $30 dollars because I knew I would probably get silly with the dollar bills and I didn't want to go overboard on my budget.

I went in and ordered a drink. Then I had another drink. I intended to stop there but every time I turned around they were bringing me another drink and I didn't have to pay for them! At some point they pulled me up front with 2 other women. I was pleased that I was picked until I found out why. They were having an ORGASM contest! Whoever simulated the best orgasm won...I won.

Then on with the show. I was having the time of my life. The dancers were dancing and stripping all over and around me. The drinks kept coming and they were free. I know I wasn't paying for them because that $30 sure went fast!

Then the show was over. I remember driving home. It was only about 2 miles. It seems to me that I did fine but there is no way that could have been. Here is how I know.

I remember going out on the back porch when I got home to look at the full moon. I remember bouncing from the railing of the porch to the wall of the house and back again as I staggered around trying to look up at the moon! That porch was about 20 foot wide. It was no small porch.

When I sobered up and remembered what I had done I was mortified.

I never drove drunk again. That was in 1997.

No comments: