Did You Know We Have 2 Blood Pressures?

I didn't but I do now. We have the blood pressure that they check in your arm. My blood pressure there has been good for years now with the help of medication.

We also have a blood pressure in our lungs. Apparently my blood pressure there is terrible. Now they have switched me from a C-pap to a Bi-pap. I think that means I am worse.

I LOVED the C-pap and I wanted to marry it.

I HATE the Bi-pap and I think I would be just as well off with nothing. I am trying to use it. I am not sleeping again.

sigh

"runnin' the tv line"

Saturday's in the 50's

My mom grew up on a farm in Sarah Ann, West Virginia in the 50's. In her early years she would get up and watch shows like Tom Mix and Wagon Train (I think that is what she told me anyway) and Howdy Doody. She would put on her cowgirl outfit and sit in front of the tv and eat her breakfast from a tin pan just like the cowboys did.

When she grew older she was allowed to take the bus into Omar. I think it cost her a nickel for a hotdog and milkshake and maybe even the movie as well. One time her dad told her to stay in town and watch the movie twice and he gave her extra money to do it. She decided to go home anyway.

When she got home she found out her dad had killed her pet calf. He had given her the extra money because he didn't want her to find out what had happened to her calf. Of course she cried and she said she couldn't eat the meat that the family got from it. It was a farm afterall, so she understood why her dad had killed the calf, but it was still her pet.

My mom had 17 cats. Dotsie had her nose kicked up between her eyes by a rabbit. She said for the whole rest of Dotsie's life she could hear the sloshing of each breath that she took. Another of her favorite cat's was Tarzan. She said he froze to death sitting on a rock in the middle of the creek one night. When she found him the next day he was still sitting there.

10 Questions - doin' it Verbal Style

10 Questions - Doin It Verbal Style

Sep 22, '10 12:39 PM for everyone

There are way too many quizzes out there, and some of the questions overlap. So it's my turn to ask you some life-altering questions to REALLY get to know you. Try not to think about your answers for too long... just write the first thing you think of, and have fun. Post here, or send in a PM if you're feeling shy.

1) You have all the resources in the world, and you can change one thing about the world permanently in the next 24 hours. No one will fight or argue with your decision to change this. What would you change? It can be something personal or something on a larger scale.

2) You have the power to make one person in the world disappear. The disappearance would happen silently and non-violently, but it would be permanent. It would be as if this person never existed in the first place. Who would it be, and why? Again, it could be someone you know personally, or someone known on a larger scale.

3) One choice for your last time ever. We'll play this "Clue" style. Pick a person, a place, and a thing. Person: your boo, a stranger, a celebrity (please include a name), two hotties. Place: the kitchen, the bedroom, a yacht, the 50 yard line, a dimly lit warehouse. Thing: handcuffs, whip cream, a camcorder, satin sheets. ONE choice from each is all you get.

4) Tell us ONE thing that NO ONE on M-ply knows about you. (note - we don't care what your favorite color, food, or car is. Make it something good)

5) Tell us a GOOD joke. It can be a knock, knock joke or a one liner or a funny story. Whatever you do, make us laugh. Or... it can be one that makes you laugh all on your own. Ready? Go.

6) Build your perfect boo from the floor up. Shorthand too... I realize that this could become a very long blog for some of you. Height, weight, build, personality, features, style, etc.

7) Fill in the blank: The hardest, yet the smartest, decision I've ever made was _________.

8) Fill in the blank: The funniest term for a sexual stunt I've ever heard is ________, which is _________. (Imaginary bonus points - did you try it?)

9) If you could put ONLY ONE item on your bucket list, what would it be and why?

10) What is the ONE song you'd have as your personal theme song when you walked into a room? (More imaginary bonus points if you post a video of it right here).

"Here come the Skipper"

I guess I got my disdain for authority figures from my dad. He used to serve on the USS Oriskany. He loved to tell this story.

His best friends name was Lipscomb. One day my dad strode on deck and blew the whistle and stood at full attention and announced, "Attention on deck, here comes the skipper." At which time everyone on deck came to attention.

Then along comes Lipscomb skipping across the deck!

Daddy said he got some kind of demotion because of this little prank. He always laughed whenever he told the story. He thought it was hilarious.

No Hunting

When I had my 100 acres, I didn't allow hunting except for a select few people. It was actually an animal paradise and I wanted to keep it that way. One day I had the priviledge of watching a 16 point and an 18 point buck do battle in my front yard for about 45 minutes over a doe that was grazing nearby. As she meandered along, just grazing here and there they followed her with their horns locked practically the whole way. I learned after living there for awhile that they were actually buddies that hung out together. You know how it is though once a woman becomes involved.

The hunters would tear down my "no hunting "signs, so I started to stencil "no hunting" on the trees and telephone poles. I also went deep into the woods and I spray painted big blotches of orange paint on the trees so that a hunter would have to investigate before he could take a shot. (my theory was that he would have to look twice to make sure that a hunter wasn't in the way of his shot) I also tore the steps out of tree stands so that hunters couldn't climb to their vantage points. My favorite thing to do and the most effective is that I would go out right at daybreak and I would race all over the 100 acres blowing my car horn and blinking my lights. I saw whole herds of deer run away when I did this. I also saw more than one hunter cussing me in my rearview mirror!

For every respectful hunter there is an asshole that just wants to go out and get drunk and shoot anything that moves. My biggest fear is that someone would mistake one of my greyhounds for a deer and shoot it. (they do look similiar afterall) Once I found a dead deer and the only thing the hunter bothered to take with him was one hind leg. What a waste! If you are going to go to the trouble of killing it - at least eat it! My neighbor complained to me once that someone had actually shot into the side of his house. I told him the only thing that I could tell him to do was to call the police because nobody had permission to hunt there anyway. We all know what good that would do.

Anyway I adored my 100 acres and I wish I was still there.

The Repo Man

One time when my car was getting repo'ed, I found a cat. This cat looked extremely disheveled and was the weirdest shade of gray that I had ever seen. I was switching out cars and the cat just walked up and started rubbing himself on my legs so I loaded him up and took him home.

When we got home, we got out of the car and he jumped out of my arms and ran under my house. I did not see him again for 2 months but I knew he was there because the food I kept setting out for him was disappearing. One day I walked out of the house and there sat this stunningly beautiful, solid white cat. At first I didn't recognize him and then I realized it was The Repo Man (as I had affectionately dubbed him). From that day on he was a constant and faithful companion. I guess he wanted to make himself presentable before he became friends. I can't imagine the hours of washing it took for him to get rid of that dark, grey palor!

The reason The Repo Man was grey in the first place is because I had picked him up in a place called Black Bottom in Logan, West Virginia. Black Bottom is so named because it used to flood 2 or 3 times a year and everything would be covered with black, river mud. (now that the R.D. Bailey dam has been built it only floods once every 3 to 5 years - our federal tax dollars at work! Commerce is thriving there now.)

As to why my car was getting repo'ed, that was deliberate. I had bought the car from my boss. After that I was fired from my job (the only job that I was ever fired from) but that is not what the problem was. I continued to faithfully pay for the car until one of my greyhounds was returned to me injured. It was not just any injury, it was the same injury that I had heard the trainer of the kennel brag about inflicting on another dog when I was working in the kennel. I couldn't do anything about it because I had no proof.

From that day forward I quit paying for the car. I was also living on my 100 acres so I used the car for a work truck. This caused the car a lot of damage. (none of it deliberately inflicted) I can guarantee you that the car did not feel an ounce of pain from the damage - unlike my poor dog, who had an extremely painful muscle tear!