I WAS the remote control

My dad would lay on the couch with one arm stuck up in the air all day long on his days off. He wouldn't get up to change the channel. He would lay there and bellow my name for as long as it took for me to come and change the channel. Sometimes I would pretend not to hear him just to see how long he would do it. Unless somebody else happened along in the meantime he would holler just as long as it would take for me to do it.

For the younger viewers, this was back in the days before remote controls. The tv went off air every night at 1 a.m. and came back on at 6 or 7 in the morning. Every night finished and every morning started with the National Anthem. Television shows would start with the announcement, "NOW IN LIVING COLOR!"

We had a VCR years before anybody else did. It was a huge dinosaur of a machine and the top would raise and you would put giant tapes inside it. There were no movies available at the time. It came with a movie camera and you made your own movies or you taped television shows that you liked.

One time my parents made the funniest movie at one of their poker games. The stars were my uncles and other members of the family. I remember everyone cackling with laughter at my uncle Johnny because he had dressed up like a woman and as he put his purse over his shoulder he chortled, "I'm a transvestite!"

It was funny stuff It rivaled anything I've ever seen on tv. Too bad it all burned up in the fire.

"I'll Give You a House and Three Rooms of Furniture if You'll Marry Me"

That's what my Pepaw Farley said to my Granny the first time he ever saw her. She was living with her brother, Sherman, and his family. (this was in 1938) It was winter and she had no where else to go. She was walking to the outhouse, barefoot in the snow, when my Pepaw, who was living in the boardinghouse next door saw her. She told him that if he would let her sister live with them that she would marry him... and that was that. They got married and he bought her 3 rooms full of furniture and my Granny and Aunt Edna had a home for the first time in their lives.

My Granny Farley, Anna, became an orphan when she was 5 years old in 1925. Her mother died in childbirth. She was not married and she had 5 kids by 5 different men. (My Granny didn't like to discuss her mom because she was a loose woman. My Aunt Edna Ruth told me these things about a month ago) There was nowhere for the 5 kids to go so they roamed southern West Virginia and lived with whomever would take them in. (Usually they were separated) They would work helping to plow gardens in the spring, hoe gardens all day in the summer, harvest crops in the fall and help can vegetables or whatever other work could be done. Usually they would get kicked out of the house in the winter because nobody could afford to feed an extra mouth back then.

One time when Granny was 12 years old, she and her sister Edna were living with a family. Edna was younger than Granny, so she looked out for her. They had worked hard all day as they always did and Edna was crying because she was hungery. Granny went into the kitchen and took a biscuit and 1 piece of bacon and gave it to her little sister. The next day the woman kicked them out for stealing. She knew Granny had taken the bacon because there was a mark in the fat where the bacon had been laying.

Granny used to speak kindly of a black woman who lived on Hart's Creek. She let her stay with them longer than anybody and Granny appreciated everything she ever did for them. She worked hard but at least she had a roof over her head.

That's all I know about my Granny's early life. She was an Aunt Bea kind of Granny and I was lucky to have her.

How Inconvenient

It looks like I'm going to live past the 5 year mark that the Dr.s gave me and I am already a year past the 3 year mark that SS gave me.

That's a good thing.

I am walking farther everyday and I can tell a difference in my stamina.

Here's the problem. I am no where near physically ready to work full time. I will keep working on it. I applied to WV rehab services a couple of years ago but they determined rehabbing me would be a waste of time since I was undoubtedly going to die soon. I wanted to be able to find a job to support myself IN CASE I didn't die - which is what is happening now.

On the plus side I have honed my writing skills and my computer skills over the years because I was unable to do anything else but watch tv for so long. I just have to figure out a way to make money with them. Lots of people do.

I can't quit my job. It is my safety net. They cater to my every scheduling need and there is no other workplace on earth that is going to do that. I have had several job offers for better paying jobs but the people that offer them don't realize what my limitations are. Fruth does.

Yah for Fruth, Yah for me!

Mystery Baby Me?

This looks like the baby in the next blog but what do I know...they all look alike!

Me in My Rocking Chair

Is this the famous rocking chair my mom has always told me about? I have been wondering who this baby was and today I noticed, penciled lightly in a ripped corner, my name and the date is 1963.

I GUESS it is me. She loves to tell me how I had my own rocking chair and magazine rack full of books from the time I was one year old, so the timing is right.

I had to cut off a piece of the picture because it was badly ripped. In it you can tell that the chair is actually a rocking chair.

MY MOST HUMILIATION CHILDHOOD MOMENT

We were going camping and stopped by my grandparents house on the way. It was always great to stop because I was pepaw's "pick of the litter" and of course my granny was "Aunt Bea" personified. I was about 5 years old. We got out of the car and I raced to greet my grandparents as they were coming from out back to greet us. I was instantly distracted by a huge "pile of sand" at the back of the yard!

Before anyone could say anything I raced toward the huge pile screaming "Saannd, Saannd!!!" I can remember people calling in the back ground "Pam, Stop!" "NO PAM NO!!", but there was no stopping me . I raced to the pile and I took a flying leap and landed on all fours. As I sailed through the air and even before my impact into the massive pile I knew it was NOT sand. IT WAS TOO LATE! I landed a few feet into a huge truckload of cow manure that they had just had delivered for the garden! I was knee deep and elbow deep in COW SHIT! Fortunately I didn't do a faceplant but I was definitely face to face with the stuff as I immediately began to yowl as only a 5 year old can when faced with such an impossible situation. Even my pony tails were covered in the stuff!

I remember my pepaw pulling me out by my waist and my granny hosing me off because my mom refused to touch me. My dad and brother and sister thought it was the funniest thing ever and it took forever for me to live it down. We couldn't leave to go camping until my granny had given me a bath and my clothes were washed.

THE MORAL IS "LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP!!!

fatty catty and I have returned from the firey depths to avenge my truck

Yesterday I was consumed by the firey depths of the apocalypse and I noticed that one of my friends was chiefly interested in posession of my truck. Well, you can have it because it is now a crispy fried red ranger as is the rest of West Virginia.

The reason it is not on the news is that disasters in West Virginia never make the national news unless there are coal miners trapped. That is the good news of the apocalypse, all the miners who were working underground were not harmed by the all consuming fires and such.

I would like to thank my friend, Frankie Baby, for providing me with a fresh igloo since my apartment was incinerated with my truck. I am in the process of walking to it and I should be there in about 6 months at my current rate of speed.

God Bless America!