Yesterday I was consumed by the firey depths of the apocalypse and I noticed that one of my friends was chiefly interested in posession of my truck. Well, you can have it because it is now a crispy fried red ranger as is the rest of West Virginia.
The reason it is not on the news is that disasters in West Virginia never make the national news unless there are coal miners trapped. That is the good news of the apocalypse, all the miners who were working underground were not harmed by the all consuming fires and such.
I would like to thank my friend, Frankie Baby, for providing me with a fresh igloo since my apartment was incinerated with my truck. I am in the process of walking to it and I should be there in about 6 months at my current rate of speed.
God Bless America!