Sunday, October 16, 2011

Flying Jet Skis of Death

Chris and I walked toward the bleachers that had been set up beside the ice covered lake. We were late, the competition had already started.

"You're going to love this," Chris said, "you've never seen anything like it."

At just about the same time the words came out of his mouth I saw 2 jet skis race over 2 snowbanks toward each other. They both flipped through the air at exactly the same time side by side and all 4 riders flew off their jet skis hurtling through the air!

"Watch!" Chris yelled excitedly! "They're going to switch!"

I watched as the airborne riders executed a turn in mid air and reached for the other jet ski. One of the riders deliberately missed and plummeted head first in the snowbank, His helmet made a sickening crunch as he impaled himself in the rock hard snowdrift.

"Oops, he's only paralyzed, he's disqualified." Chris told me. I had stopped walking. I was sickened by the display I had just witnessed.

"Disqualified? What do you mean, disqualified? It looks like he broke his neck to me!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, you're right. If he would have died he would have won." Chris said unconcernedly as he dragged me on to the bleachers. I went with him because my knees were weak after what I had just witnessed. I needed to sit down.

They cleared the carnage out of the way with quick efficiency and I watched two more jet skis lined up. I watched in the same way you watch a train wreck that you know you can't stop. I couldn't look away. The two jet skis speeded toward each other and flipped in the air and all four riders executed a successful switch.

"Ah, they lose." Chris told me as he bought some popcorn from a vender. "Nobody died." He sounded truly disappointed.

"What do you mean, they lose? They all switched perfectly."

"I know, ain't that a bitch," he said. "The rules are simple. The judges are looking for a particular kind of handoff. The 2 in front and only one in back can live."

I just looked at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The object was to actually kill somebody. Somebody was actually getting on that jet ski with the intention of dying.

"Chris, I need to leave," I told him. "I can't do this."

"What? I thought you would love this stuff"

"Well I don't. I want to go."

"Well go on then. I'm staying."

Just then I watched another set of jet skis line up. When it was all said and done 2 of the back seat drivers had broken their necks.

"Disqualified!" I heard a voice over a speaker yell as the crowd cheered. "Ladies and Gentlemen we have one more competitor. World champion, Lars Splenik from Finland and his partner, Jessa will compete against local favorites John Larson of Ottawa, Wisconsin and James Ferrell. This should be a doosy!"

The jet skis revved up and screamed toward each other. They jumped. The riders flipped. 3 of them successfully switched vehicles. One flew into a snowbank. Dead!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a successful handoff! We have a winner!" I heard the announcer say as I passed out completely

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