I was at a family reunion one year and my 17year old niece was being particularly irritating that day. Finally I started to walk away from her and she walked behind me just blathering away. 
When she finally noticed that I was not paying attention to her she said, "If you don't listen to me, then you are gay!"
At this point I had all that I could take. So I turned to her and yelled, "Fine Becca Fine! I'm gay alright! I'm gay!"
When I turned around to walk back to the shelter there was complete silence. Every relative I had then turned back to each other and started talking, pretending that they had not heard the exchange. I knew there was no sense opening my mouth to explain what had just happened.
A few minutes later my cousin David, a doctor, walked over and said, "Pam, if you are gay, it's alright." I assured him that I was not and of course it was obvious that he didn't believe me.
He repeated, "I just want you to know that it's OK." I just turned and shook my head at Becca. There was nothing else that I could do.
Personal note: Becca, someday, somewhere, someway, I will get even with you for that one! 
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