I was working for my dad as an office manager. I went to him and told him I needed to go buy a case of toilet paper. "A Case!" he yelled, "they shouldn't be shitting on my time anyway!" Then he chomped his cigar and gave me the money to go buy the toilet paper.
I used to give the guys haircuts on my lunchbreak. They would line up and I would do $5 haircuts. I had a friend who would come over and do my haircuts. One day the guys bought a bag of my hair in. They told me they had taken it out of Curtis' van. Curtis was a street person who we paid to clean up in the evenings and he slept in his van on the parking lot. Apparently he had fallen in love with my hair and pulled it out of the trash. I don't even want to think about what he was doing with it. I threatened his job if I EVER caught him with my hair again!