Wednesday, September 15, 2010


After the experience with my first I set out to prove I could use a man just like a man uses a woman. I went through several of them. Some I loved and some were one nighters - most I can't remember. I know that total I have slept with 12 over the course of my life. 3 since I was 20. (now I am 48)

I did not need love for sex, lust was plenty good enough for me. I am sure each had his good points although I learned quickly to watch my back. John was number 3. He was much too controlling and it didn't last long. I learned from him that some men won't just let you walk away. I had to hit him in the head with a hammer for him to get the message that I didn't want him anymore. Actually I didn't hit him in the head, I had someone trash his car. They totaled it. He didn't bother me anymore. At the time it seemed justified. I kinda think I went overboard now.

My personal parties ended with an attempted rape. I went out drinking with 3 guys. We ended up at the head of a hollow somewhere and all of a sudden everything went pitch black. The next thing I knew I was being held down and Wayne was trying to rip my clothes off of me. I fought back as hard as I could. He did not stop as I begged and screamed and fought. The other two guys were just waiting for their turn when he finished with me.

Finally I realized that I was almost completely exhausted. I gave him one last might mighty push with all the strength that my body could muster. Fortunately I was stronger than most women and for some unexplicable reason he just stopped. He got off of me and left me alone. What he didn't know was that I had no strength left - not one drop. I just lay there. My arms were so weak I couldn't even raise them. If he had come back I would have been completely helpless to fight him off in any way and I have never felt so helpless in my life.

They took me home. I stopped my partying ways, at least with random men that is.

Lesson learned.

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