Thursday, March 31, 2011

More Hillbilly Humor

Personally I don't know Tj, but I figured if whoever posted this thanked him then I better too!


Again many thanks to Tj.

1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
3. Vacation" means driving through Wyatt on the way to Morgantown.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes.
6. Down south to you means Kentucky.
7. You know several people who have hit a deer.
8. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
9. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
10. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
11. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
12. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
13. Stores don't have bags; they have pokes.
14. They don't have shoppingcarts; they have buggies.
15. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
16. You've seen a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
17. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "Where are you going to?"
18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
19. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
20. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car.
22. You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.
23. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
24. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
25. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with ice & snow.
26. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
27. You cook green beans for hours.
28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
29. You don't ever park your car without setting the emergency brake.
30. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
31. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
32. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
33. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".
34. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction.
35. You know what a real tomato is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
36. You know if another Hillbilly is from southern, central, or northern WV as soon as they open their mouth.
37. Your parents have threatened to have you sent to Pruntytown.
38. You can watch someone order a hotdog and know in what part of the state they live. - Chili AND slaw, anyone?
39. You can spell words like Allegheny, Monongalia, Monongahela,Kanawha and Hawks Nest.
40. You know how to pronounce Canaan and Gilmer.
41. You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes.
42. You know at least one couple who went to Virginia or Maryland to get married.
43. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your West Virginia friends.

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