My Life's Dream is to Catch this Fish

We've all heard about them. They are in the deepest, darkest parts of our rivers. They are bottom feeders, so we never get a glimpse of them. I have heard that they were underneath the silver bridge when it collapsed. That the divers were so scared that they refused to go back down to recover the bodies. They are so big that supposedly you would get sucked in just by their breathing if you swam in front of one. The size of a volkswagon even! I don't know if it's true, but I sure would like to catch one of them bad boys.

I also met a guy once who told me that he used to be an underwater welder. He said he quit when he was welding under a bridge one day. He thought he was standing on the base of the river. All of a sudden he felt the ground move under his feet. He wasn't on the bottom. He was standing on top of the biggest fish he had ever seen! It scared him so bad he never went back. Of course I have no way of verifying that story.

I have heard stories all my life about these fish. Since the advent of the internet and Animal Planet I have learned that similiar stories exist all over the country and all over the planet. Seems to me some of them must be based in fact.

I sure hope so. I'll keep tryin'

Today willl be a good day

I woke up not too tired from work. Actually did some dishes and played on computer a little. Still have to rest more after last night. Here's what I HOPE to accomplish today:

1. pay intelos bill in person because I don't put my information on the computer ever.

2. Dollar Tree for monthly necessities that will cost me a fortune anywhere else. It is beside of intelos store.

3 I want to go in Walmart. I have a $5 coupon for vitamins and I'm supposed to start niacin. I think it will be cheaper than Fruth with my discount but there's a lot of walking in Walmart so I will have to see.

4. I have been wanting to try candied bacon. I think it will be my superbowl treat...even though I have no intention of watching the game and I have seen all the commercials.

5, Sweep my floor.

6, Talk to preacher about newsletter.

7. I have a couple of bags of donated clothes, including one blanket, I need to give them out but I have been waiting to see one particular guy that I think may need it the most.

8. Win a free sub from Penn Station. Have to go to the library to do that one. Haven't figured out how to hook up printer to laptop. I think it's possible but I am no where near ready to tackle that one.

9. If I win the free sub I will collect it when I go to dollar tree...penn station is next door.

10. Beat a few people at words with friends.

If I manage to do 4 of those I will be happy.

"Flying Needles! It's Flying Needles! Everybody Hide, It's Flying Needles!"

We used to run through the yard jumping and screaming and hopping and skipping and holding our butts everytime we saw the flying needles. Flying needles were jets in the sky. You know the ones, you see them everyday with the jet stream behind them. The game was you would get a shot in the behind if you didn't hide - so we hid.

When we were kids we used to pretend they were flying needles and we would hide behind the garage and under trees and the porch - whatever the nearest hiding place was until we would look in the sky and they would be gone.

It only took about a minute for them to cross the horizon in Southern West Virginia. Where I am from the mountains are so close together that the jets would pass out of sight almost immediately leaving a trail of smoke behind them.

I happened to look into the sky today and I was reminded that the jets with their streams behind them still look like a needle and thread crossing the sky.

It was just a silly way to pass a little time as a kid.

I was having a good day until...

I went to the community room just for a change of scenery from my apartment. I have to rest today because I am working tonight. Have to conserve my energy. Several people stopped to chat and everything was fine until one lady came in and she had just sprayed perfume all over herself. I had to ask her to leave. But it was too late the damage had already been done. She was very nice about it because she is on oxygen too and she understands. Her problem is aparently not as severe as mine.

It strangled me. Now I am back upstairs on my bipap and oxygen trying to clear my lungs before I have to go to work. They are relaxing. They were kind of spasming, trying to clear the fumes out. I could do an inhaler but it makes me crazy and I avoid it if at all possible. Oxygen seems more natural to me than the chemicals in the inhaler somehow.

That is one of the few things I miss. Scented candles, good perfumes (not cheap ones!) and roaring fires. I can't tolerate the smoke from a fire. Even scents that smell good cause me to have breathing issues. Cigarettes are intolerable...even outside.

I live in a completely scent free world.. a little touch of vanilla would be nice now and then.

I Got Religion?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhSdOtyERuI

I posted this video as an example of what when on in church on that particular day that this blog is about. I do not post it to be disrespectful...just an example. The video is actually a mild version of what I saw....

I went to church once with a boyfriend and his family when I was 19 years old. It was a small country church the likes of which thousands dot the appalachian landscape. We went inside and there were around 20 people there of all ages and sizes. I sat in the back and watched as the preacher got wound up. He was preaching and praying and they had a band playing on the side and the congregation was getting just as wound up as he was. Finally there were 2 or 3 people on the floor speaking in tongues and everybody was dancing except for me and one other lady. I sat there mesmerized - I had never seen such a thing!

In the middle of all this chaos the other woman gets up to go to the restroom behind me. She comes back and I see that her dress is tucked up inside of her girdle. She was a large woman and the whole wide expanse of her backside was there for the world to see. She sat back down a few pews in front of me. I was relieved and I was going to discreetly make my way to her when the service was over so that I could prevent further embarrassment for her. THIS WAS NOT TO BE!

All of a sudden she "feels the spirit" and goes sprinting to the front of the church and now in the midst of the preacher ranting full force and the band playing and the people on the floor shouting to the Lord and everybody dancing there is this 250 pound woman twirling around with her dress tucked in her girdle and her giant white ass dancing before the congregation. I LOST IT! IT WAS ABSOLUTELY THE FUNNIEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. THERE ARE NOT WORDS IN THE ENGLISH VOCABULARY TO DESCRIBE HOW INCREDIBLY FUNNY IT WAS. I had to go out to my car and wait for the service to end because I could NOT control my laughter. I still feel guilty to this day but there was nothing I could have done to prevent the situation.

Recipe for Congestive Heart Failure at a Young Age

When you get Congestive Heart Failure at a young age you have to review your life and see what you have done to contribute to getting such a disease. So here is a "brutally honest with myself" list of how I have lived my life to get CHF at the age of 44. By the way I'm 49 now. I have outlived both my doctor's and the US government's estimations of how long I would live. This is directly because of the US government determining that I was eligible for disability and the changes I made in my lifestyle. I am light years better than I was 5 years ago even though I will never be 100% again.

The doctors say my CHF is due to sleep apnea. My veins and arteries are fine. My cholesterol levels are good - not perfect, mind you, good.

But what about my life got me to this point with not even a mild case of CHF - it is advanced?

1. Work somewhere between 70 to 90 hours a week. When you get off work party hard and play harder. Get somewhere between 3 to 5 hours a night sleep, to catch up, sleep all day about once a month. Do this for about 20 years.

2. Eat basically only meat and drink Pepsi for your entire adult life.

3. Smoke pot around the clock for 15 to 20 years and dabble in various other drugs. Cocaine and drugs that require needles are not necessary. (I am deathly afraid of needles) Prescription pill abuse is enough. Various pain pills, muscle relaxers and nerve pills will do. A 2 year period of tea and acid around the age of 20 probably contributed. No cigarettes what so ever although I was around a tremendous amount of second hand smoke. So much for pot smoking not hurting you.

4. Have a job you love like training greyhounds. Physical fitness is required. No sleep is also required. If I went more than 6 hours without going to the kennel (day or night) then I missed something I needed to do I was around an extreme amount of dust and dirt in the kennels, as well as pet dander, plenty of fecal matter too. The kennels were clean but I am the one who usually cleaned them.. I loved it though and I wish I could still do it.

5. Sex on average of twice a day for most of your adult life. (Good sex not "let's get it over with sex!") Don't know what this had to do with it but thought I would throw it in there.

6. Quit all these vices cold turkey. Keep eating like your job is physically demanding even though the job is sedentary work 70 to 80 hours per week. This is when I noticed I never slept. People around me noticed it as well. I told my doctors but they always seemed to shrug it off.

7. I personally think this is the biggest factor because I started noticing problems after starting this shot. Go on the Depo-Provera Birth Control Shot. I had an echocardiogram in 1999 that was completely normal. I started this shot in 2001. By 2006 my heart was shot! But if I had it to do over I would take the shot again because life with no periods is heavenly.

8. My divorce. I used to wonder how anyone could survive the pain of the break up of a marriage. I mean the actual physical pain to your heart. I believe a broken heart sometimes can't be fixed.

9. No support from family. They say family support is crucial in life. I wouldn't know because I never had any in my adult life. Let me add that I have had minimal support since being sick. I am not talking about just financial support either.

10. I was always slightly overweight. However I was in better physical shape than most women until my late 30's. I was invincible, I thought.

Do these things and you too can retire at the age of 44 on a measly Social Security check with no hope for the future of getting any better. Be happy to lie in bed all day and watch TV because you are too tired to get up and cook something.

I GUESS She Told Them

I just came back from the grocery store. There were two middle eastern men following me all the way down the first aisle. I went around them and waited on them and just generally tried my best to shop around them but I was getting quite irritated. Especially when it became quite obvious that they were watching every move I made and intentionally getting in my way.

I looked up when I finally made it to the end of the aisle to see an older middle eastern lady standing there giving them one hard look. As I went by she let fly something in a middle eastern dialect but I could tell that she was expressing EXTREME displeasure. I don't believe it was directed at me, it was directed at the two men.

I was left alone to continue my shopping from that point on.