Friday, February 3, 2012

I Got Religion?

I posted this video as an example of what when on in church on that particular day that this blog is about. I do not post it to be disrespectful...just an example. The video is actually a mild version of what I saw....

I went to church once with a boyfriend and his family when I was 19 years old. It was a small country church the likes of which thousands dot the appalachian landscape. We went inside and there were around 20 people there of all ages and sizes. I sat in the back and watched as the preacher got wound up. He was preaching and praying and they had a band playing on the side and the congregation was getting just as wound up as he was. Finally there were 2 or 3 people on the floor speaking in tongues and everybody was dancing except for me and one other lady. I sat there mesmerized - I had never seen such a thing!

In the middle of all this chaos the other woman gets up to go to the restroom behind me. She comes back and I see that her dress is tucked up inside of her girdle. She was a large woman and the whole wide expanse of her backside was there for the world to see. She sat back down a few pews in front of me. I was relieved and I was going to discreetly make my way to her when the service was over so that I could prevent further embarrassment for her. THIS WAS NOT TO BE!

All of a sudden she "feels the spirit" and goes sprinting to the front of the church and now in the midst of the preacher ranting full force and the band playing and the people on the floor shouting to the Lord and everybody dancing there is this 250 pound woman twirling around with her dress tucked in her girdle and her giant white ass dancing before the congregation. I LOST IT! IT WAS ABSOLUTELY THE FUNNIEST THING THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. THERE ARE NOT WORDS IN THE ENGLISH VOCABULARY TO DESCRIBE HOW INCREDIBLY FUNNY IT WAS. I had to go out to my car and wait for the service to end because I could NOT control my laughter. I still feel guilty to this day but there was nothing I could have done to prevent the situation.

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