Friday, April 15, 2011

Funny Alzeimer's Stories (actually dementia was the diagnosis)

First my Granny Farley's Story.

I walked into her house one day to find my mom giving granny a bath in her hospital bed. She was covered with a large towel for modesty while my mom when about the business of caring for granny.

Granny saw me and she knew me immediately that day and she was thrilled to see me. She and my mom and I were laughing and joking and having a high old time when all of a sudden granny yelled, "Hey Pam!"

I looked at her and she flung the towel away and grabbed her boob and proceeded to squeeze it while yelling, "POW! POWPOW! POW!" over and over.

It was hysterical. I nearly fell in the floor with laughter at my little, old, Christian granny's display!

Here is a Wimpy Story. Wimpy was Rusty and Sissy's grandpa. They were our next door neighbors growing up. The 5 of us kids really didn't know we had separate houses.

Sis took care of Wimpy once he was bedridden. Rusty would give her breaks. Rusty is a huge man (6 ft. 5 and 350 lbs) and he would load Wimpy in the car and take him for rides and get him ice cream or whatever. One day they were riding around and Wimpy needed to go to the restroom.

Rusty pulled in at SuperAmerica (gas station) and got the key from the clerk. He took Wimpy to the bathroom and proceeded to help his grandfather do his business. The whole time they were in the restroom Wimpy was screaming for sombody to help him. He was screaming that someone was trying to murder him. Needless to say it took Rusty a while to do what needed done.

When they were finished, Rusty opened the door. Standing in front of the door blocking the way were 2 state policemen. When the clerk heard Wimpy screaming for help he called the police! Rusty was mortified when he saw the police and it didn't take much for them to see what was actually going on and they let both him and Wimpy go!

It was nice the clerk was so concientious but Rusty was very upset until he told the story and I couldn't contain my laughter. Then he saw the humor of the situation.

Then there was the time I was caring for my dad. It was a beautiful spring day so I took him outside to ride his scooter (wheelchair) around. On one side of the yard it was perfectly flat and on the other was a hill. I warned him that there were holes on the hill side of the yard and to stay on the flat side. He didn't listen.

I thought he was on the patio smoking and I was working with something in the garage. Daddy came to the garage and demanded to know where in the hell I had been! I told him right here and he proceeded to tell me the horrifying story of where he had been.

He decided to ride his scooter up the hill. About halfway up it overturned. He yelled for me but I didn't hear him. In true Daddy form he decided to right the scooter himself and get on it. He righted the scooter but everytime he tried to get back on it his pants would fall down! From what he told me his pants fell at least 3 times and I was horrified that I did not hear his calls for help.

Later that night my uncle came over. Daddy proceeded to tell him the story. Before he was halfway finished with the story my uncle was literally rolling in the floor with laughter. He couldn't contain himself. At this point both Daddy and I saw the humor in the story and enjoyed a good laugh ourselves.

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