Wednesday, March 26, 2014

This Sounds Like a Lie but It's Not - damnpamn's Blog - Blogster

This Sounds Like a Lie but It's Not - damnpamn's Blog - Blogster

We all call in sick to work sometimes when all that is wrong is a
touch of spring fever.  Most people just call in sick with a little
extra effort to sound stuffy and/or miserable.  Then we get that mighty
cure called a day in the spring sunshine.  It doesn't take much to
uplift the soul and if you are earning minimum wage it is well worth the
money you miss out on to take advantage of a glorious day.

I had
to call in sick once with an excuse so implausible that even my boss
said there was no way I could make it up....and I wasn't.  All 3 times I
used it when I had to call in.  In fact I was highly irritated that I
had to use valuable sick days on something so stupid.

I had to
tell my boss that I couldn't come to work because there was a trailer
blocking my road.  I don't mean a tow dolly type trailer or even a
little van that workers use to pull their tools around.  I mean a small
house trailer that people live in.  At least I hope somebody was living
in that stupid trailer but I'm not really sure.

I was living up a
hollow in West Virginia.  I was working on building my very own 35 acre
farm full of all the animals that I always dreamed of having.  But to
fund this farm I had 3 jobs and I had to drive an hour each way to get
to any of them.  The last quarter of a mile was a dirt road that you had
to actually drive across a creek to get to it.  I don't mean you drove
on a bridge over the drove THROUGH the creek.

were a couple of families that lived on that last little stretch of road
before you got to my house at the end of the hollow.  The family
closest to me was a quiet family that you never heard from.   That was
not the case with the first family that lived right beside the creek. 
This family liked to party.  They liked to party with all the good ole
boys on the hollow before you got to our little piece of the pie.  So I
would drive by and wave as I went to and from work while they were
kicked back having a good time or doing whatever piece of meanness that a
bunch of drunks in a hollow in WV can cook up on a Saturday night.

day I left my house and there, right smack dab in the middle of the
road was a trailer.  All the guys were gathered around and I knew there
was a problem as it was sitting kind of lopsided in the road.  It turns
out that they had decided to move the trailer from one guys house a
couple of miles down the road to the house that was at the mouth of my
hollow. The trailer had bottomed out.  One end was up on the main road
blocking it.  The other end was buried in the dirt of the road on the
other side of the creek.  And by the look of things it was wedged in
there good while all the drunks were gathered around trying to figure
out how to get out of this predicament.

When they saw me they
gave a friendly wave and my neighbor came over to tell me he was sorry
but it was going to take some time to get the trailer out of the road. 
He didn't really know how long it was going to take either.  I told him I
needed to get to work and he just kind of mumbled an "I"m sorry" and
turned away telling me they would get it out as quick as they could.

had to go home and call my boss.  I told him I might just be late for
work but from the look of things I really didn't think they were going
to get the trailer out of the way any time soon.  I worked night shift. 
I was supposed to be there around 9 or 10 (I can't remember now) and I
left between 6 and 7 in the morning.  The last time I checked at
midnight the trailer was still there.  They did have it moved the next
day though.  Fortunately my boss thought it was funny and so did I and I
put the time to good use at my house.

It wasn't so funny though
when I had to call him 2 more times over the next few months because the
good ole boys decided to move the trailer again.  The second time they
put it back where it was to start with.  Then the 3rd. time they moved
it back by my neighbors again.  All 3 times was on a Saturday night. 
All 3 times they were all drunk and decided they needed to move the

And that was the craziest story I ever told when I called in sick to work.  Not one word of it was a lie.

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