Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I wonder if this means I have matured or something?

I have never made it a secret that I'm hard to get along with. My close friends will tell you the same thing in a heartbeat and the reason I know they are close is because the will tell ME that in a heartbeat as well. I've been on one of my downward spirals lately and Eddie and Necia were suffering because of it. For once I was able to recognize what I was doing and I apologized to both of them today. They accepted because that is what friends do.

The only other friend I have like that is my friend, Kathy. She is my stable pony, she has a calming influence on me. This week we have been friends for 11 years. We will celebrate by exchanging a "bead" that we are both currently addicted to.

I have had longer friendships in my life but they were always based on what drugs they could get for me and what drugs I could get for them. Once I quit doing them the the friendships just kind of withered away. I don't regret those friendships, they were just based on something different than what I base my friendships on now.

Then there were my childhood friendships. Do those fade for everyone as well or just me? I think everyone. I believe that is why marriages don't last anymore. When marriage was first instituted in the beginning of time people only lived 25 or 30 years. Now we live well into our 70's and beyond for the most part. The things you need when you are young are generally different from what you need when you are older. Some people make it but I think most people just change too much.

I am finished being reflective.

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