Wednesday, April 2, 2014

"Pam, you can't be sleeping. Pay attention to what the lady is saying." - damnpamn's Blog - Blogster

"Pam, you can't be sleeping. Pay attention to what the lady is saying." - damnpamn's Blog - Blogster

When I was in high school the
health department ruled that women who cooked for their church bake
sales had to have a food handler's card. My Granny Farley and Aunt Mary
Ann never missed such a sale. Their church was their life and they did
everything they could to support it. Granny's chicken and dumplings and
Mary Ann's cakes were always the first to sell out at every sale.

problem with this ruling was that my granny could only see out of 1/2
of one eye (due to surgery for a brain tumor) and my Aunt Mary Ann is
retarded. They could not take the test that the health department gave.
They both, of course, kept clean kitchens and there was no reason for
them not to cook other than government paperwork. So my family decided
that I would go to the health department and take the test for them.

all met at the health department for the test and the room was full of
people. I escorted my Granny and Mary Ann to the back of the classroom
so that we would not be observed. We sat through the whole boring
lecture. Actually I was trying to sleep through the whole lecture when
my Granny reached over and poked me hard in the side. She said, "Pam!
You can't be sleeping. You've got to pay attention to what this lady's

I growled back half asleep, "Granny, I don't need to
listen to this lady, Mommy has spent half my life drilling this stuff in
my head!" (my mom was studying to be a dietician) "It will be just
fine, " I told her. But I did sit up out of respect for my Grandma and
made a monumental effort to stay awake for the rest of the lecture.

the woman finished she handed out the tests. I took my test first and
gave myself 100 points. I took Granny's test and I made sure she got a
high B. Then I took Mary Ann's test and I made sure that she just barely
passed. That way nobody would suspect what I had done. I told Granny to
wait 5 minutes after I left and pretend that she was still taking the
test. Then I left and we all met at the 10 cent store for lunch, which
was my Granny's favorite place to eat.

I can honestly say that this is the only dishonest thing that my Granny ever did in her life.   it was for the church after all.

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